Things I Am Not Allowed To Do In Power Rangers
by Michelle the Editor
Summary: What the fandom has been lacking since someone wrote such a list for Harry Potter. Chapter 10 now has its framing device, but aside from a few more similar additions which would not trigger Story Alert, this is complete. However I have started a Tumblr for it if you want to check that out. It's linked on my profile.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing, noth-ing!

A/N: Power Rangers has had this coming for a long time. Suggestions? Comments? Keep 'em PG, and I can guarantee their inclusion, even if I've never heard of what you're referencing.

If you're confused about the change, prophet144 warned me that lists are not allowed—thank you!—so I put in a framing device, like the Star Trek: TOS version I saw, and now it's a story.

~o^o~

"Welcome to Time Force," Captain Logan said, pacing in front of the three newly promoted cadets. "Jacob Nicholson, Rachel Sanchez, and Lawrence Harvey. From now on, you are authorized to perform time travel. However, there is a list of guidelines—"

"We've read it, sir," Nicholson said quickly. Captain Logan glared, and the gawky young man shrank back.

"I am referring to the unofficial guidelines," Logan said, "which you may have heard portions of. Since the list is both long and constantly being added to, you will receive twenty rules at regular intervals. Here is the first installment. Dismissed." He handed Harvey, the unofficial team leader, a data card, and the trio saluted.

Harvey shoved the data card into the nearest computer, and the three gathered around the holographic screen.

1. Zordon has already heard every possible Wizard of Oz joke, and that is not a challenge.

2. I will not ask Leo who died and put him in charge.

-Or Karone.

-Casey.

-Wes.

-Scott.

"What is this, a joke?" Rachel demanded.

"Does Captain Logan joke?" Nicholson asked.

"I think somebody in Time Force actually did these things, and we're not supposed to get any ideas," Harvey replied. "You remember who all these people are, right?"

"Duh," Nicholson said, "we all had to pass the exam on former Power Rangers, didn't we?"

3. I will not give Rita headaches.

4. The Machine Empire, despite being a empire, does not have any: Decepticons, Cybermen, Borg, Toclafane, Daleks, Cylons, Replicants, Terminators or any other mecha from other franchises.

-And I will not explain any of these creatures to them.

-Nor will I attempt to get them any.

6. I will not refer to Astronema's second evil form as "Astronema of Borg."

7. Dillon is not the Terminator

8. If I so much as think of Tenaya as the Terminatrix, both siblings will have every right to beat the stuffing out of me.

9. I will not inform Cam that "Your father was a hamster and your mother smelt of elderberries."

-He doesn't watch Monty Python, and won't get the joke.

-And as he is a Samurai, I would only be hurting myself.

-Besides, Sensei Watanabe was a guinea pig, not a hamster.

10. I will not reprogram any version of Alpha to be less annoying.

-Not even Alpha 6 during Turbo.

-Especially if I don't know what I'm doing.

-In fact, I will not attempt to reprogram anything I am not qualified to.

-Even if it belongs to a villain.

"I wonder who actually did these things," Sanchez wondered, grinning.

"You guys read faster than me, could someone read it aloud?" Nicholson asked. Harvey cleared his throat, and read.

"11. I will not kill Elgar.

12. Despite how much the fans enjoyed his performance, I will not attempt to recreate Evil Alpha.

13. I will not draw an H on Alex's forehead if I happen to find him asleep.

-Nor will I do the same to Sky.

14. I know the difference between Harry Potter and Power Rangers. Therefore, I will stop calling Nick "Harry."

15. I will not nickname Justin "Wesley Crusher."

16. I will not nickname Mack "Data."

-Nor will I leave little orgami unicorns around his house.

17. I will not nickname Tyzonn "Quicksilver," even though it's technically an accurate name.

"Whoever it was was a nerd," Nicholson said. "Probably one of the Time Force Rangers."

18. Some Rangers have duplicate names, but I know which is which. Therefore, if Commander Cruger asks for Kat Manx to come and look at the new Zord diagnostics, I will not send Kat Hilliard, and vice versa.

19. I will not make up monsters, pretend to be their manager, and get a villain to hire them to destroy the Rangers for any fee.

-Even though the dumber generals keep falling for it.

20. I will not list the ways I hate Bulk and Skull in public.

-Or the Turbo Rangers.

-Or anyone else who annoys me."

Captain Logan walked by, heard the laughter, and grinned to himself. Even in the year 3000, people still came up with initiations. Hopefully, these three recruits would be able to add to the list when their turn came.

~o^o~

A/N: Specifically, I do not own Power Rangers, the Wizard of Oz, Transformers, Doctor Who, Star Trek: TNG, Blade Runner, Terminator, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Red Dwarf, Harry Potter, or Marvel Comics. I haven't even watched half of those things, I'm just a nerd with a general knowledge of this stuff.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Suggestions—PG-rated, please—would be greatly appreciated, though you might have to wait a bit for them to show up since I've already written 100 rules.

Disclaimer: I don't own Power Rangers, Back to the Future, Doctor Who, Lost in Space, the Beatles, Lord of the Rings, Walker: Texas Ranger, Harry Potter or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I haven't even seen half of those things!

~o^o~

Sanchez, Nicholson and Harvey were running an obstacle course. Nicholson crawled out of the final pipe first and collapsed on the floor, panting. Then he realized that someone was standing right in front of him. Slowly, he looked up, and realized Alex Drake was standing over him.

"Sir," Nicholson said, scrambling to his feet and saluting. Alex gave him a curt nod.

"At ease," he said, and Nicholson did. Harvey somersaulted out and jumped to his feet, shaking his black hair out of his eyes. Sanchez was barely a second behind him.

"Well done," Alex said, "you all have good time. Here are your instructions for the day. Dismissed." Alex handed Harvey the data disc, turned on his heel and left. The trio ran over to a computer, giggling in anticipation. Sanchez was the least out of breath, and so she read the list to the others.

"21. If I happen upon a girl that Billy is interested in, I will not list off all of Billy's previous girlfriends to her.

-Even if I have a complete list.

-ESPECIALLY if I have a complete list.

22. I will not inquire if Bridge's buttery toast is kosher.

23. Some Rangers who replaced more famous people may still be sensitive about this. I will not say loudly that they "shouldn't even bother, they'll never be like the originals."

24. I will not tell any villain to "get a life, dude."

25. I will not suggest that Divatox set her detonators to go off in thirty seconds instead of thirty minutes.

-She may listen to me.

-Which would be bad.

-Nor may I reset them myself, "just to see what happens."

-In fact, using the phrase "just to see what happens" is automatic permission for anyone to tackle me to the floor.

26. If the thought of something makes me giggle for more than fifteen seconds, then I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.

27. I will not alter important events in time to try and make Time Force show up.

28. I will not nickname RJ "Doctor Smith."

-Because he is a Pai Zhua Master and could mop the floor with me.

29. If I see Dr. K and Ziggy arguing, I will not tell them to "just kiss, you idiots" and walk away.

-Nor will I say this to any other pair of bickering Rangers.

30. I will not write "Bad Wolf" everywhere.

-Especially around Merrick, RJ and Leanbow.

31. I will not mock Udonna's bustles.

-Nor will I hide them.

32. No matter where Time Force is going, I do not have the right to shout that they're going "back to the future!"

-Nor will I request they bring me back a hoverboard.

33. Their ship is not powered by a flux capacitor.

-Nor is it a TARDIS.

34. I will not comment on the Asian girl in yellow, Black African-American Rangers or Native American Red Ranger.

-It was an accident.

-I will especially not bring up the "Zordon is a racist" video.

35. I will refrain from singing/humming "Yellow Submarine" when the Time Force ship shows up.

-No matter how much I love the Beatles.

36. I am not the Numenorian Ranger.

-Nor am I the Texas Ranger.

-And neither is anyone else.

37. R.l.C. is not K-9.

38. Zordon is not the Face of Boe.

39. No matter how funny I find Bridge's random sayings, I will not write them all over the walls of SPD Headquarters.

-Nor will I write "The Chamber of Secrets has been opened, enemies of the heir beware," in Rootcore.

-In fact, I am not allowed to write on the walls, floors, ceilings, doors, or anything people don't normally write on.

40. Despite the fact that they fight vampires, the Mystic Force Rangers are not the "Scooby Gang," nor will I tell Vida or Madison that she is the Slayer.

-Clare is out of the question."

"Nicholson?" The trio turned around. A technician was standing by the door. "You're wanted on Level 6."

"Coming," Nicholson said, grabbing his jacket as he went.

~o^o~


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I still do not own Power Rangers, Doctor Who, Monty Python's Holy Grail, Harry Potter, the Wizard of Oz and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. New to this list are Manos: The Hands of Fate, the Muppet Show, the A-Team, Peter Pan, Pirates of the Caribbean, DC Comics, Phantom of the Opera, Star Wars, a veritable plethora of action movie stars, and Linkara.

A/N: Keep those suggestions coming, though they're not going to start showing up until the nineties. Why is this my most popular story?

~o^o~

Sanchez and Harvey sat on a bench, playing rock-paper-scissors and waiting for Nicholson to get out of the simulator. Having done hideously badly on his first run, he'd decided he needed to beat it that very same day. This was his third hour going at it.

"Gun," Harvey said, forming a gun with his left hand, "that beats everything."

"Gun that turns into a sword," Sanchez retorted.

"How did you even do that?" Someone tapped Harvey on the shoulder, and the two turned around to see Trip standing there. They jumped up

"At ease," Trip said, and handed Harvey a sheet of paper. "Captain Logan told me to give this to you."

"Um, thank you, sir," Harvey replied. Trip walked out the doorway, but unbeknownst to the three trainees he stopped the second he was out of view and listened.

"Hey Nicholson, we've got more rules," Sanchez hollered. The simulator wound to a halt, and Nicholson clambered out, panting.

"Read," he said, sitting down next to Harvey. Sanchez cleared her throat.

"41. Despite him being Scottish and the Blue Ranger, I may not paint woad on Flynn's face while he is asleep.

-It will not scare the Grinders away.

42. The answer to everything is not "42."

43. I will never, ever show any of Linkara's "History of Power Rangers" videos to any Rangers.

-Especially not Turbo.

-Nor will I show them any of his other Power Ranger-related videos. It would only confuse them.

44. I will never, ever, ever steal a Ranger's morpher and replace it with a toy.

-"I was going to give it right back," does not help anything.

-I will especially not try to mix two different morphers or Zords, no matter how wicked the results would be.

45. Rita does not weigh the same as a duck.

-Nor does Udonna.

-And I will not attempt to prove this.

46. It is a bad idea to tell Ransik that he takes himself too seriously.

-The same goes for any other villain.

-Or any mentor, for that matter.

47. I will not dump water on Rita to try and melt her.

-Or on Udonna.

48. If, for some unknown reason, I am allowed to mix a potion, I will not imitate the Swedish Chef while doing so.

-Nor will I get Clare to.

49. I am never, ever, ever allowed to break into a Ranger base and start trying to create my own morpher/power-up mode/new Zord.

-Not even for one of the Rangers.

-The same goes for villains' lairs.

50. I am entitled to think that Mesogog's climactic fight was disappointing. I am not, however, allowed to make upgrades to him to "give the Rangers a real challenge."

-This applies to any final battle.

51. Despite his half-face mask, I will not sing "Phantom of the Opera" around Ransik.

-Because he will hurt me.

-A lot.

52. I will not refer to Commander Cruger as a nice doggy.

-Or any Wolf Zord.

-Telling him to fetch anything is the number one way to get kicked out of SPD.

53. I will not attempt to force Nick and Leanbow to reenact the "Luke, I am your father" scene from Star Wars V.

54. I will not ask Kat—either Kat—whether she ever coughed up hairballs.

-Nor will I refer to either as Catwoman.

-Or ask if she's gotten all her shots yet.

55. The Jungle Fury Rangers' Animal Spirits are just that, animal spirits. Calling them Patronuses only irritates the Rangers.

-The same goes for the RPM's Zords.

56. I will not bring Captain Hook, Long John Silver or Captain Jack Sparrow in to "show Divatox how real pirates operate."

57. Rita did actually commit crimes, the dumpster is not "a maximum security stockade," and the Moon palace isn't "the Los Angeles Underground." Therefore, she and her monsters are not the A-Team, and I will stop trying to hire them.

-The same goes for Ransik.

-And Maligore.

-And Queen Bansheera.

-And Dai Shi.

58. I will not begin ranting about how Rita's Dumpster is a garbage can, not a dumpster. Everybody knows, and nobody cares.

59. Venjix is not Skynet.

60. No matter how cool the results would be, I will not give Ranger powers to any character played by the following: Arnold Schwartzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Hulk Hogan, Bruce Campbell, Pierre Kirby, Reb Brown or Cynthia Rothrock."

"Do any of you know who all those people are?" Harvey asked.

"Cynthia Rothrock was the five-time world Karate Champion in the nineteen-eighties. She also made a lot of really stupid movies," Sanchez replied. "Reb Brown just shot things and screamed a lot in his movies."

"You watch old B-movies?" Nicholson asked. Sanchez shrugged.

"They're good background noise."

~o^o~


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers, Star Trek, the Batman TV series, Wizard of Oz, Highlander, the Princess Bride, or Sesame Street. And what do you know, I don't own Power Rangers either!

~o^o~

The date was 1999. Sanchez, Nicholson and Harvey were on their very first time traveling trip. Nothing important was happening; they, three other cadets and Lucas were just filling in the crowds at the New Year's Eve countdown in New York. "Getting used to being in another time" was how Captain Logan put it.

"Wow, I think we'll be the only people who've seen the year 2000 and 3000!" Nicholson exclaimed. The crowds were too focused on the clock to notice the conversation.

"This is actually one of the standard first missions," Lucas replied, not looking at the cadet. "I've seen this, what, five times now?"

"So we might find duplicates of you running around here?" Sanchez asked. Lucas glanced at her, and noticed the gleam in her eye.

"No, I never visited the same city twice," he said quickly, and handed her a sheet of paper. "I've got to go—Time Force business—read this while you wait." And he vanished into the crowd. Nicholson, Harvey and the other recruits gathered around.

"You've been getting these, right?" Harvey asked the others. The one boy nodded.

"They're keeping us up to date, just read," he said. Harvey took the paper right out of Sanchez's hands.

"Hey!"

"I've got a louder voice," Harvey said. "Besides, it's my turn." Sanchez folded her arms and glared.

"61. Optimus Prime is not my Zord.

-Neither are any of the other Autobots or Decepticons.

62. I will refrain from making Captain's Logs while aboard the Astro Megaship.

63. KO-35 is not Vulcan.

64. I will not install seatbelts in the Zords.

-Or the Astro Megaship.

65. I will not make Andros, Karone or Zhane cry in order to collect their tears, "for scientific purposes" or otherwise.

66. I will keep in mind the distinction between actors and the characters they play. Therefore, I will stop insisting that Trakeena and Damon are madly in love.

67. I will not organize TommyKim vs. TommyKat debates/battles/flamewars.

68. I will not claim that Emperor Gruum is Master Ji, Daggeron is Commander Cruger, Chip is the Sentinel Knight (yes, really) or any other two characters with the same actor.

69. I will not tell the Rangers about their Sentai counterparts.

-Especially not Tommy.

-Not even to explain why Justin isn't such a big deal.

70. If the Giant Pizza Incident is brought up, I will refrain from imitating the old Batman show's announcer.

-Half of the people won't get it, and the rest have already heard the joke.

71. I will not try to find out if Eric's Q-Rex would in fact eat Tommy's Dragonzord for lunch.

-Or any other meal.

72. I will not ask the first set of Turbo Rangers what happened to the Zeo Powers.

-Nor will I ask the Galactabeasts if they're really lost Wild Zords.

-In fact, I will not start discussions about any fan theories with the Rangers.

-Nor will I discuss their acting abilities.

73. I will stop trying to talk Udonna into levitating everywhere in a giant pink bubble.

74. I will not try to prove that Alex and Wes are really one Immortal with some serious issues.

-The same goes for any Ranger with an identical ancestor.

75. Not allowed to make up things for Shayla to be princess of.

76. Not allowed to read TommyKim fanfiction aloud near them or Kat, and vice versa.

-Actually, I'm not allowed to read any romantic fanfiction in front of the people involved.

77. I will not create a "Ranger Signal" for any team.

-Besides, you can't see it in the daytime, and hardly any monsters attack at night.

-I may not create a "Ranger Phone" to solve this problem.

78. I am not authorized to create a peace treaty with any villain.

79. Unless I am Cole, Master Org did not kill my father, nor does he deserve to die.

80. I will not imitate Sesame Street's Count when a band of Hidiacs appears."

"Hey, they're counting," Nicholson said. The six turned around.

"Five, four, three, two, ONE!" Everyone shouted, and broke into cheers. Fireworks rocketed into the sky, and Harvey jumped as they exploded.

"This may seem like a silly question, but what's that?" He asked.

"Fireworks. They're harmless," Sanchez said. "You've never seen fireworks?"

"I can barely see the sky where I come from," Harvey retorted. Lucas slipped through the throng of people and reached the six cadets again.

"Where were you? Giving your great-great-grandfather an almanac?" Sanchez asked.

"What's there to improve?" Lucas replied. "We need to go back now." With a minimum of whining and adolescent pleas to stay longer, the cadets were herded back to the ship and through a wormhole.

~o^o~


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Power Rangers, the Wizard of Oz, the Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Star Trek: TOS, Who Let the Dogs Out, Tarzan Boy, Disney, The Time Warp, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, When You're Evil, Doctor Strangelove, 24, Stargate, Muppet Treasure Island, Pirates of the Caribbean or Dudley Do-Right.

Rules 94-97 are from F-35 Phoenix. Here come the suggestions!

~o^o~

Sanchez, Nicholson and Harvey were up at midnight in Harvey's quarters, studying. Data cards littered the bed and floor, and the only sounds were keys clicking and the occasional weary sigh.

"Why did we keep so many lousy things from a thousand years ago?" Harvey said, "instead of sugar, we get tests."

"Hey, when you guys are ready for a break, Captain Logan gave me more rules," Sanchez said. The guys dropped their computers and looked over her shoulders.

"81. I will not present either Kat with string, hairball medicine or catnip for Christmas.

-The same goes for giving dog toys and bones to Cruger.

82. I will not draw a cobra on Ryan's back, and redraw it higher up whenever he falls asleep.

83. A house did not fall on Niella, and I will stop asking Udonna if it did.

84. Neither the Master, Dark Specter or Maligore are balrogs. I will stop shouting that they "Cannot pass!"

85. I will not play the Darth Vader theme around Dai Shi.

-Nor Lord Zedd. He likes his own theme just fine.

86. Bulk and Skull get enough icky items dumped on them, I will not try to arrange for more.

87. I will stop trying to prove that Zen-Aku and Koragg the Wolf Knight are the same person.

88. I may not swap Udonna's books of magic with anything Harry Potter-related.

-Or anything at all, really.

89. No matter how irritating I find them, I will not abduct the child actors."

"What?" Nicholson asked, a little too loudly.

"Shhhh," Sanchez said, "I think it means the kids who keep popping up and 'helping' the Rangers."

"Oh, them. Don't stop."

"-Not even to give them acting lessons.

90. I will not lock myself in the Astro Megaship's engineering section and serenade the Rangers with "I'll Take You Home Again, Kathleen."

-Not even if I can actually sing.

91. Andros is not Legolas.

92. I will not imitate Astronema's mannerisms behind her back.

-Because Ecliptor will see me even if she doesn't.

93. I will not start singing "Who Let the Dogs Out?" when Commander Cruger enters the room.

-Or "Tarzan Boy" for Cole.

-Or any Disney Princess song around Princess Shayla, even though technically she is one.

-"When You're Evil" or an appropriately altered version of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" for a villain's entrance.

-"Professional Pirate" for Divatox, even though she likes it.

-Or any disney villain songs for a bad guy's entrance.

-"Time Warp" at the appearance of any Time Force Ranger.

-Actually, I am forbidden from bursting into song altogether.

-No, I was not put under an evil spell to do so. I will stop insisting otherwise.

94. I will not use my Zord for "picking up chicks/dudes."

-Nor will I use anyone else's Zord.

95. Tommy's title is "Dr. Thomas Oliver," not "Dr. Strangelove."

-Nor is Dr. Hartford "Dr. Feelgood."

96. When Jack and Sky begin to argue, I will not shout "This is a War Room! You can't fight in here!"

-I am no longer allowed to make any references to Dr. Strangelove.

97. Jack's last name is Landers; it is not Bauer, O'Neill, or Sparrow.

98. Despite his voice, Ninjor is not actually Dudley Do-Right, and I will not address him as such.

99. Just because Mack's head is detachable does not mean I can run around throwing it at people and yelling "Think fast!"

100. Yes, some of the Rangers' last names coordinate with each other or with characters from other franchises. No, this does not make them long-lost siblings/children/cousins/ancestors/what have you, and I will stop trying to arrange meetings/leaving mysterious notes/what have you."

At this point, one of the girls who'd gone to 1999 with them stuck her head in. The storm of slightly suppressed giggles halted.

"Would you keep it down? Some of us are trying to sleep?" She hissed.

"Hellooo," Harvey said, pointing his flashlight up at his face and grinning widely. "We're sleep-deprived." The girl rolled her eyes and left, shutting the door.

~o^o~


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Power Rangers, Doctor Who, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Manos" the Hands of Fate, American Idol, Yogi Bear, or the Godzilla franchise.

A/N: Rules 111-113 from Scrappy-Fan92. Rules 114-116 are from Guy With 1000 Names. Rule 117 is another F-35 Phoenix contribution. Also, Taiyo Ryu—since your PM is disabled—why would I change my rating to put in a bisexuality joke? Have you seen my profile?

~o^o~

"Sanchez?" The cadet groaned and rolled over. Nicholson kept poking her. "Test day." Sanchez's brown eyes snapped open, and she sat up so hard that she and Nicholson knocked heads. Throwing on her uniform, she ran a comb through her tangled black hair and opened the door, in time to nearly step on a folded note lying on the floor.

Picking it up, she tried to figure out the smudged scrawl across the top. Nicholson leaned over her shoulder, and she shoved his face away.

"Hey! I was just trying to help," he protested.

"To help with the nerves," Sanchez finally made out.

"Alcohol?" Nicholson asked hopefully. Sanchez rolled her eyes and unfolded the paper.

"101. The Master of Mystic Force is not the Master from Doctor Who.

-Nor the Master from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

-He is especially not the Master from Manos: The Hands of Fate.

102. I will not try to form a "Former Villains Anonymous" club.

103. I will not tell any villains before Countdown to Destruction what happens to them in the Z-Wave.

-Nor will I tell Zordon that Andros destroys him.

-Or pre-Zeo Tommy that Kim breaks up with him.

-_All_ traumatizing news will be kept to myself.

104. I will respect that the words "kill" and "die" are taboo in most time periods, and not constantly correct people who use "destroy."

105. I will not push large, red buttons unless I am asked to by a mentor.

-And I will make sure it isn't an imposter first.

106. I will not announce the statistics for "most popular fanfiction pairing per team" anywhere.

-Especially if I actually know all of them.

-Because the results would be massive embarassment for all parties involved.

-And they would take that embarassment out on me.

107. If Shayla and Merrick happen to be performing that song for the Deer Zord, then I will not grab a few friends and pretend they're auditioning for American Idol, with myself as Simon.

-If it's good enough for the Deer Zord, it's good enough for me.

108. Random explosions are a bad idea.

-Even though Gem and Gemma are all for it.

109. I may not make a PA system play "They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard" on loop.

-Nor "The Gummy Bear Song."

-Or any other infamously annoying song.

-Nor may I do this to any Ranger equipment.

110. I can't get Cassidy to help me perform one of the items on this list on the grounds that she may film it and make the evening news.

-I may not get Maya, Cole, Clare or any of the other people raised outside of normal civilization to do them, saying that these are perfectly ordinary things to do.

-Nor may I ask their permission to break one of the rules.

-Actually, I may not get permission to do anything on this list from the following people: Max and Danny, Gem and Gemma, Dustin, Jack, Z, Piggy, Phineas, Zhane or any generally quirky/mischievous characters.

-Nor may I get a villain's permission.

-Or get them to help me.

-Or bully one of the milder people into doing it for me.

-Or frame one of them for doing it.

111. I will not stop the Magna Defender from losing his powers.

-Or any other Ranger or ally.

112. Aisha's Bear Ninjazord is not "smarter than the average bear."

-Or the average Zord.

113. I will not attempt to get the Wild Force Rangers to Ninja Ops in order to have a team-up.

-That rule also applies to S.P.D. & Mystic Force, Operation Overdrive & Jungle Fury,or Jungle Fury & R.P.M.

114. Because I value my life, I will not use the words "letter" or "short" around Kimberly.

115. I will not ask Tommy how he ate while stuck in Ranger form.

-Or Sam.

-Or the Phantom Ranger.

116. While I am authorized to detonate my own Megazord as a last resort, I will _never _destroy another team's Megazord.

-"I'm bored" is not a last resort.

-Neither is "Because explosions are preeety."

117. I will not repaint the Dragonzord silver and call it "Mechagodzilla."

-We know they look similar, get over it!

118. Just because an actual Ranger did one of the things on this list does not mean I can.

119. If I ever have to explain something, I am allowed to use: my words, a video, a Power Point presentation or a document. I am not allowed to use: hand/finger/shadow puppets, a magic lantern show, charades, asking questions to make them figure it out, a big musical number or sign language unless I am hearing-impaired.

120. I will not start a betting pool on who the Phantom Ranger really is.

-Nor will I attempt to find out beyond simply asking him.

-And if he refuses to answer, I will accept that it's his own business."

Harvey arrived just as Sanchez finished. She passed the paper to him, giggling partly from nerves.

"Come on, we've only got five minutes," Nicholson said. Harvey followed, reading as he walked, and nearly ran into Sanchez from behind.

~o^o~


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Power Rangers, Godzilla or any other Kaiju, the Sentai series, He-Man, Highlander, Charlie Bit My Finger, or Star Wars.

~o^o~

Sanchez, Nicholson and Harvey had just gotten their first official Time Force officer jobs. Specifically, washing and waxing the Time Flyers. When Katie had handed them the sponges and buckets, Harvey was the first to speak up.

"Don't we have technology for this?" He asked incredulously.

"Yeah, but it's being replaced," Katie said, "and we need the Zords ready. Get to work."

The three exchanged weary looks, and went into the Zord hangar. Dumping the supplies out onto the floor, Nicholson noticed a sheet of paper flutter out.

"Hey!" He exclaimed, grabbing it and unfolding it, "more rules!"

"Okay, then, twenty doesn't divide by three evenly," Harvey said, stroking his chin in thought. "Right. Whoever finishes their Zord first gets to read ten rules, then we swap around. The one left over gets dinner paid for by the other two."

"Fair," Sanchez said, grabbing a sponge and rolling her sleeves up. There were about thirty minutes of intense scrubbing. Nicholson finished first, chucking his rag into the polish can and crawling out from under Time Flyer 3. He grabbed the paper, smudging the corners with his still-waxy fingers, and started reading.

"121. I will not bring Godzilla in to help the Rangers if their Megazord is in the shop.

-Nor will I bring him in if the villains need a monster.

-All Kaiju are off-limits to me.

122. Some of the Rangers' weapons or foes have Japanese names with incongruous meanings. However, I will not use this as an excuse to call Saba "the Mackerel Saber," etc.

-Nor will I apply anything that their Sentai counterparts do to the Rangers, especially things like cross-dressing.

123. I will not talk Necrolai into resurrecting Zika and the Magna Defender, Niella, or Cole's parents, because, sadly, it would just be too much trouble.

-Nor will I use any other method of resurrection.

124. If I get ahold of a Quasar Saber, I will not hold it to the skies and shout "I…have…the POWER!"

-Or "There can be only ONE!"

125. I will assume that anyone who broods is dangerous, and treat them accordingly.

126. I will assume that anyone female is off-limits, and probably already taken to boot.

- I will remember that ignoring the above two rules is what put Conner in the hospital.

-Actually, anyone from the past—Rangers especially, but not exclusively—are off-limits.

127. I will not take the above rule as an excuse to play matchmaker between any two Rangers, as the most likely result will be extreme embarrassment for everyone involved.

-It's none of my business, anyway.

128. I will not tease Tommy about his hair.

-Or Andros.

129. I am not allowed to bring up the Dark Rangers.

-Especially not to mock their masks.

130. I am not allowed to ask Billy if he was the Phantom Ranger.

"Okay, that's ten," Nicholson said, grabbing up his rag again. Harvey, a very thorough waxer, finished with Time Flyer 1 about five minutes later, and took up the paper.

"131. I am not allowed to ask Rocky "what was it like being a Red Ranger and not the leader?"

132. I can't ask Tommy why he hardly ever went inside his Dragonzord.

133. I am not allowed to ask Zordon why Tommy and Kim—and later Tommy and Kat—had to share a Shogunzord.

134. Charlie did not bite me.

-And my name isn't Harry, anyway.

135. I will not play matchmaker for any not-together Ranger couple, including Merrick and Princess Shayla.

-Especially those two, no matter how obvious that it is that they're soulmates.

136. I will not tell people going into the Zordon Era to "salute the head."

-Or get a "long wait."

-Or some striped paint.

-Or any other twentieth-century military pranks.

137. Yes, Trini, Aisha, Maya, Kelsey, Katie and Taylor's costumes didn't have skirts. No, this is not a design flaw that I can fix.

138. I will not tell Tenaya and Dillon that they are Luke and Leia Skywalker.

-Or Jacen and Jaina.

-Or any other set of fictional twins.

-Especially not Fred and George Weasley.

-Nor will I do this to Gem and Gemma.

139. I will never, EVER give Vida ANY kind of weapon.

-Including water guns. It had to be surgically removed, and yes, we have a video to prove it.

140. I will not morph backwards, even if I can pronounce "Suruasonnarayt" or "Ecrof emit rof emit"

"Done," Sanchez gasped, sliding out from under Time Flyer 2 and lying there for a minute. Harvey began cleaning up the supplies as Nicholson gave the Flyers a last-minute check.

"Hey, Harvey, where'd you put the rules? I'm collecting them," Nicholson said. Harvey pointed to the spot on the floor where he'd been sitting, and Nicholson retrieved the paper, stuffing it into his hip pocket. Reaching down, Harvey offered Sanchez a hand up, which she took, and the three went out.

~o^o~

A/N: Rules 125-6, the sub-rule for 1222 and 138-9 are from PinkRangerV. Rules 128-133 are from webdoor. Rules 122 and 135 from Pink Wolf Princess. Rules 136 and 137 from prophet144. Thank you all for your funny suggestions, and keep them coming!


	8. Chapter 8

A/N (Because I didn't do this before): Thanks to BuffyBrennan, Ghostwriter, Guy With 1000 Names, mamsmelk, Megagalvatron12, Nazness101, Pink Wolf Princess, PinkRangerV, prophet144, Red Shadow Ranger, Scrappy-Fan92, Taiyo Ryu, webdoor and WolfsbaneX for all your reviews! My spell checker doesn't know who you are, but I still appreciate your input and compliments! Exclamation points. Asteroid Conquest is the Star Wars replacement from Dino Thunder, by the way.

Disclaimer: I do not own Power Rangers, Wayside School, the Pit, DeviantArt, LiveJournal, Y-Gallery or YouTube.

~o^o~

"I think that kid saw me," Sanchez hissed. She and Nicholson were hiding in an alley in 1993 Stone Canyon, waiting for Harvey to finish his mission. They'd been sent back for, of all things, looking up census records. Apparently with time travel getting more and more common, a lot of people wanted to complete their genealogies. Nicholson peeked around the corner, and ducked back as if burned.

"Yikes, you're right," he said, "he's coming this way. What was our cover story again?"

"We're in costume for the sci-fi convention," Sanchez replied.

"What convention?"

"Asteroid Conquest, so why are we hiding?" Just then, the child in question came around the corner. He was short, freckly and fair-haired. Grinning—and showing off his lack of front upper teeth—he handed them a piece of folded paper.

"Hi, I'm Joey. The guy over there told me to give thith to you," he said, handing it to Nicholson. The cadets looked over the boy's shoulder, and saw Harvey coming towards them. He waved cockily. Sanchez sighed.

"What are you drethed up ath?" Joey asked.

"Um, Imperial lieutenants from Asteroid Conquest," Sanchez said. Joey didn't look convinced.

"There'th no empire in Athteroid Conquetht," he lisped.

"Yes there is, in the books!" The two got into a who-is-the-bigger-geek argument, and Nicholson ran over to Harvey.

"More rules?" He asked, unfolding the paper.

"You bet," Harvey said, coming around him and grabbing a corner of the paper.

"141. Eric's last name is Myers. Not Bacon, Fry or Ovens.

-Nor did Jason ever get stuck to his chair with chewing gum.

-And before I can think of other Rangers who share names with students from Wayside School, THEY AREN'T!

142. I will not attach a tracking device to Kimberly.

-Or Tommy.

-Or Jason.

-Or any other Ranger with a habit of getting kidnapped.

-No matter how useful it would be.

-Nor will I start a betting pool on which gets kidnapped the most times.

143. I will not paint Kira's Pterazord pink.

-Or her, for that matter.

-Or paint Trent green and gold.

-Or paint any other Ranger with a repeated animal spirit.

144. I will not take Trent back in time to "Show him how real evil Rangers do it."

145 When a new character shows up, I will not assume they will become a de facto member of the team.

-Even if I'm right 99.9% of the time.

146. If I get a super power such as invisibility or telekinesis I will _not_ do anything stupid that would anger my teammates.

-Especially if I'm a teenager.

-Anything on this list qualifies as stupid.

147. Elizabeth Delgado of SPD may or may not be related to Danny Delgado of Wild Force. I will not go snooping around in their genealogies to find out.

148. In that strange alternate universe we discovered where we're all fictional, yes, Trini and Udonna's actresses are dead. No, telling either of these people would not be a good idea.

149. I will not ask Commander Cruger how he fit his head into the Shadow Ranger helmet.

150. I will not tell the SPD rangers that 'Quality is better than quantity.'

-Or Mystic Force.

-Or RPM.

151. I will not replace Master Swoop's black trench coat with a pink one.

-He may be blind, but he's got scary good senses, and he doesn't need eyes to kick me straight into the Spirit World.

152. No Ranger should EVER be introduced to the Pit, whose real name always gets devoured when it's put here for some reason.

-Or LiveJournal.

-Or DeviantArt.

-And ESPECIALLY not Y-Gallery!

-YouTube is okay, though.

153. I may not tell Tommy and Kim that I'm from the future and that they get married and have any number of children.

-Nor can I do this to anyone else.

-In fact, lying about the future is only a good idea when I'm being interrogated by a villain.

154. Yes, tires squeal in space. I can handle this fact.

155. I won't ask Camille why, in the ten thousand years of waiting in Dai Shi's palace walls, she never bothered cleaning the place.

156. Trying to get the Putties to enunciate so I can understand them is a waste of time.

-Mocking them with a lip diddle is a bad idea.

-Mocking all foot soldiers is a bad idea.

157. I will not teach the monsters and foot soldiers to all attack at once.

-Seriously, do you want to destroy the Power Rangers?

-Saying "yes" to the above is a good way to get yourself destroyed.

158. Everyone knows that "with great power comes great responsibility." I will stop saying it.

159. I am allowed to write songs about the Power Rangers. I am not allowed to sing them around the Rangers involved.

-Especially those with secret identities.

-Especially if it's a love song.

160. I will not try to restore Zordon to bodily form.

-Or Dimitria."

Just then Sanchez finally stumped Joey with her knowledge of Asteroid Conquest's expanded universe, and joined the guys.

"Did you go on without me again?" She demanded, ripping the paper out of their hands. "What is your problem?"

"You can read it on the ride home," Harvey said, checking his watch, "we've got to go." He and Nicholson ran off, with Sanchez trotting after.

"Sure, like I could read anything during that fly-on-the-wall ride," she yelled.

~o^o~

Rules 142-4 and 148-152 from F-35 Phoenix. Rules 145-6 from Taiyo Ryu. Rules 147-8 are from BuffyBrennan.


	9. Chapter 9

List of things I do not own: Power Rangers, Star Wars, Shrek, the Vlogbrothers, the A-Team, Doctor Who, Mad Libs, The Treasure Seekers, or the Chronicles of Narnia.

~o^o~

Sanchez was in her quarters, reviewing old Time Force mission tapes, when the door opened. She looked up to see the girl from across the hall. She was a slightly plump blonde, and right now she looked oddly mischievous.

"Hey, Julia, isn't it?" Sanchez asked. The girl nodded. "Rachel Sanchez," Sanchez said, sitting up.

"My teammates have been leaving me out with the Rules," Julia said, sitting cross-legged on the bed.

"Me too, it's driving me crazy," Sanchez said, and noticed that Julia was holding a data disc. A huge grin lit up her face. "Time to turn the tables?" Julia nodded. Giggling, the two girls loaded the disc into Sanchez's computer. Julia read the rules, somehow staying completely serious.

"161. I will not ask Andros where he learned to use the Force.

-Or Karone.

162. I will not ask the creators of the Space morphers why they didn't give Andros a lightsaber for a weapon.

-Or Ecliptor why he didn't train Astronema with lightsabers.

- I should stop calling Quantrons "Storm Troopers".

163. I know the difference between Star Wars and Power Rangers: In Space.

164. Master Org is not an ogre. Therefore, I will not ask him to "do the roar."

-Or Toxica.

-Or Jindrax.

-Or any other Org.

165. In the middle of a fight with grunts on every side, I will not yell out "Mosh Pit!" and push one of the foot soldiers at a Ranger.

-Or vice versa.

-Nor will I start playing heavy metal in an attempt to make them do it themselves.

-Someone already tried, and they don't.

166. I will not attempt to Zerg rush any fortress, good or evil.

167. I will not steal baby versions of the various villains to try and create a successful Evil Baby Orphanage.

-Nor may I kidnap baby Dr. K in order to prevent her creating Venjix.

168. I cannot break into Venjix's palace to rescue the hybrids.

-Especially not with a motorcycle through the front gate.

-Or a truck/van/Zord that doesn't belong to me.

-And playing my own theme music.

169. Machine guns are not allowed anywhere.

-Neither are nuclear weapons.

-Or rocket launchers without permission.

-Gem and Gemma's permission is not valid.

170. I cannot hire the A-Team to destroy Venjix/capture Ransik/anything else outside their time period.

-And no, they would not make good Power Rangers, despite there being five of them including Amy/Tawnia.

171. Reversing the polarity is a good suggestion, but I should not attempt to do it to any of Billy's devices without his permission or foreknowledge.

172. As awesome as it would be, I may not bring all the Red Rangers to the Forever Red fight.

-No, not even Rocky.

-I may deliver his excuse letter, though, as long as it's legitimate.

-"Legitimate" does not mean "I really, really tried to get into his head while I wrote it, and I'm a great forger."

173. I will keep my opinions of the various Rangers' uniforms to myself when in their presence.

-I will especially not pretend that they're on a fashion show and I'm the guru.

-Because nobody would look at me normally ever again.

174. I will not provide Rita with Mad Libs or other car games for her imprisonments.

175. Shayla's animal spirit is not the Big-Lipped Alligator.

-And neither is anyone else's.

176. While my knowledge of random snippets of E. Nesbit literature is appreciated, I will never ever attempt holding Sensei Watanabe up by the tail to see if his eyes drop out.

177. Billy is not The Doctor, and therefore Trini, Adam and Cestria are not his Companions.

-And neither is anyone else in this universe.

178. Udonna is the White Ranger, with wintry powers. She is also a sorceress. This does not make her the White Witch.

179. I cannot ask Rangers with secret identities for their autographs.

-And I can't trick them into giving me one.

-And I will be sensible in choosing a time to ask Rangers without secret identities for theirs.

180. I will not steal the Radbug.

-It doesn't matter that it just disappears in the actual timeline; it is not mine by default.

-And neither is the Dragonzord."

Sanchez popped the disc out and passed it to Julia. The latter high-fived her, and went out the door.

"Shall we see how many of these we can reference during training?" Julia asked.

"I like you, Julia," Sanchez said, rising. "I think I'll kill you last."

~o^o~

Rules 161-5 from WolfsbaneX. Yeah, that few. I hit a second wind here, which was great!


	10. Chapter 10

Rules 161-5 from WolfsbaneX. Yeah, that few. I hit a second wind here, which was great!

Disclaimer: Don't own Power Rangers. Don't own Buffy, Terminator, Star Trekkin' Across the Universe, Star Trek for that matter, Godzilla or any other Japanese show, Star Wars, or Doctor Who.

~o^o~

"Julia?" Nicholson called through the door. "Julia Radcliffe? It's Nicholson, Yvonne sent me with a message?" There was a thump and a muffled yelp.

"Come in," she called, though her voice was muffled. Shrugging, Nicholson opened the door, and was greeted by the sight of Julia's legs poking out from under her bed. Scrambling backwards, the blonde climbed out and turned towards him, re-ponytailing her tangled blonde hair.

"Um, mind if I ask what you were doing?" Nicholson asked.

"Looking for something," Julia panted. "What's Yvonne want?" Nicholson held up a wad of papers, and Julia groaned. "She told me the Rules were stashed in here! I've been looking for half an hour for it!"

"What did you do?" Nicholson asked, dropping into a chair. Julia looked a bit sheepish.

"Put eggs in her shoes. Hard boiled," she added, as Nicholson winced. "I didn't want to ruin her shoes or anything." He stared.

"Hard—never mind. Here," he passed the Rules to Julia. "Can I stay?"

"Sure. Just tell me if I slur—I speed up when I get excited," Julia said, sitting down on the bed.

"181. I will not ask Xander why he didn't just stake Necrolai.

182. I will not give sugar to Dustin or Chip.

183. Asking Mack to mimic the Terminator is a bad idea.

184. I will not refer to Ranger adventures by their episode title.

185. There is no Ranger karaoke night, and no, this is not something that should be fixed.

-Especially by inviting Theo and not telling him what it is.

186. If for some reason Ziggy speaks in a New Zealander accent, I will not drop to the floor looking for his American one.

-Nor will I do this to anyone else.

187. The Lost Galaxy team is not 'Star Trekkin' Across the Universe'.

-Neither is the 'In Space' team.

188. Trakeena is not a Borg. I should not insist that she is.

189. If I am told not to touch something, I will put my hands in my pockets and step away from said object.

-If I do not have any pockets, I will put my hands behind my back.

190. I will not put a recorder in the Dragonzord's PA system and make it broadcast 'Go Go Godzilla' during a zord battle.

-Or any other music.

191. I will not try to convince the rangers that they are just actors in a knockoff of a much-beloved Japanese children's show.

192. I will not ask Billy to build me a lightsaber.

-Nor will I ask any other technological genius.

-Nor will I request one for someone else.

193. I will never again try to set up a blind date between Daggeron and an amphibian.

194. I can't TP any Zord.

-Nor can I Ding-Dong Dash any Ranger or Villain Base.

-Especially not the secret ones.

-Not even with real Ding-Dongs.

195. Even if I somehow figure out how to tap into the Rangers' communicator watches, I will not try to prank-call them.

196. I can't go tell Udonna what happened to Bowen. Either I'll be messing with the timeline or giving her information she already knows, which is a waste of time.

197. I can't set myself up as a Villamax-like tutor for any villainous progeny.

-Especially if I charge money/promises not to attack a specific place/hugs/whatever else my twisted little mind can come up with.

198. I will not try to prove that Alex was actually dead and resurrected by the Time Force Rangers' messing around in the past.

-Nor that he is a Time Lord who intentionally looks like Wes, and channeled the regenerative energy caused by Ransik's attack elsewhere, thus only changing his hair color.

199. I can't start listing off all the events the Time Force Rangers changed in the past.

-Especially if I make them up as I go along.

-And they are catastrophic.

-Or result in that Ranger's hero never being born.

200. I will not go back in time to convince Kimberly not to break up with Tommy.

-Or to steal The Letter.

-Or kidnap Kat.

-What's done is done, and I will have to content myself with the fact that Dr. O appears to be unattached when he's a Dino Ranger."


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Power Rangers, What is Love, You Give Love a Bad Name, Captain Planet, the Green Lantern, Super Sentai, The Addams Family, the Incredible Hulk, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, White and Nerdy, or I'm the One That's Cool.

~o^o~

There was a rap on Harvey's door, and the officer looked up. He was sitting on his bed, cross-legged, typing on a little screen balanced in his lap. The knock came again, sharper this time.

"Yeah? Who is it?"

"Sanchez."

"Come in." The door slid open, and Sanchez slipped inside. She plunked down on the bed beside Harvey, and glanced around suspiciously. The small room was standard, with one bed, a closet, bathroom and computer linked to the main HQ interface. It was very white, and distinctly cleaner than Sanchez's quarters.

"Nicholson's working on a system bug, right?"

"Right."

"Good. Here," she pulled out a little flash drive and plugged it into Harvey's screen. A document opened, and Harvey grinned at the list of rules.

"Great."

"When we're done, we have to think of a punishment for him, you know," Sanchez added, scooting over beside Harvey to see. He glanced sideways at her, but Sanchez didn't seem to notice how close they were. "Well?"

"Right. Look for ideas in here." Harvey held up the pad to see better, and cleared his throat.

"201. I will not write Phineas love letters signed "Leelee" before they've met.

-Or vice versa.

202. I will not play 'What is Love' around Joel and Angela—they are happily married anyway.

-'You Give Love A Bad Name:' same as above.

203. When forming the Megazord, I will not shout "Then let our powers combine!"

-nor will I paste a giant blue globe to the Megazord's chest.

-While Wild Force does care about the environment, and the Galactic, Mystic Force and Samurai Rangers all use elemental powers, they are not Planeteers.

204. I will not prevent Rita from turning Tommy into her evil Green Ranger.

-Nor from kidnapping Kat.

-And I will not do this by swapping myself for either of these people.

205. 'The voices made me do it' is no longer a valid excuse.

206. I will not go back and fix Serpentera's power issue early. THIS WOULD BE BAD.

207. I will not attempt to make any color Lantern Ring out of a team's power  
source.

208. Though it is good that I am aware that the Raptor Riders are Utahraptors, I will not sic them  
on someone who calls them 'Velociraptors.'

-nor will I send said person back in time to 'learn the difference.'

209. Maya's ability to communicate with Kendrix after the latter's temporary death does not mean that she 'Sees dead people,' so I'll stop saying she can.

210. I will not, no much how much I want to, bring up Goseiger or Gokaiger just to 'Show what the next Power Ranger teams look like.'

-Or anything before Zyuranger to show 'Power Ranger teams from other planets.'

-And especially not Dairanger.

211. Tenaya 7's detachable hand is not Thing, and it cannot hear me if I thank it, anyway.

212. I will not ask Goldar whether he is a monkey, lion or wolf, or 'some unholy combination of all three.'

-Nor will I ask anyone else.

213. No Ranger needs a machine gun to 'be more awesome.'

214. I will not call Sensei Watanabe Splinter 'by accident.'

215. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have already been here, and I do not need to give them their own powers.

216. I will not get Ziggy into a paper-vs.-hand-shadow-puppets debate.

-Especially during a battle.

217. Not allowed to steal the Zords for a joyride.

-Nor may I steal Rita's bicycle.

218. It is considered inadvisable to approach a giant monster in the midst of destroying the city and tell it 'bad monster, bad! I will rub your nose in that destroyed warehouse!'

-Especially if I intend to carry out said threat.

219. I will not try to exorcise Dai Shi out of Jarrod.

-No, not even if I get legitimately ordained for the purpose.

-Besides, it won't work, just make him angry.

220. No matter how cranky any villain may get, I should not caution the one annoying him 'don't make him angry, you wouldn't like him when he's angry.'

-Nor can I do this in reference to a hero." Harvey scrolled back to the top of the page. Sanchez was leaning against him now, and he coughed a little, visibly uncomfortable. "Okay, any brilliant ideas?"

Biting her lip, Sanchez began to think. Harvey flicked up and down through the document, carefully not looking at Sanchez. Although he didn't notice, Sanchez cast a sly glance at him, smirked a little, and draped an arm over his shoulders, resting her head against the side of his neck. Harvey's ears turned slightly pink.

"Actually, I think I do," she said airily.

~o^o~

Nicholson wandered into his room, and jumped three feet as the computer began to blast "White and Nerdy" at top volume. Darting to the computer, he muted the volume—but that only switched the song to "I'm the One That's Cool." Frantically, Nicholson flicked through the computer programs, but each attempt to turn the thing off only switched the song.

"What's going on in here?" Nicholson sprang away from the computer and snapped a salute at Alex Drake, standing in the doorway. Breathing very fast, Nicholson looked from the computer to his superior officer.

"I-it's a prank, I think. I was trying to turn it off." With barely a glance at Nicholson, Alex crossed to the computer, swiped a card, and leaned in to speak into the microphone.

"Override 18." The sound cut off abruptly. Nicholson sighed in relief, but straightened again as Alex faced him. Or rather, looked past him to his closet. "Sanchez, Harvey, come out now."

As Nicholson looked over his shoulder, his two friends tumbled out of the closet, both flushed and rather giggly. They came to his side and stood at attention, Sanchez biting the insides of her cheeks to keep from laughing. Alex glared, and her smile faded.

"For disrupting the rest of the floor with your antics, you are all on basement-cleaning detail for the rest of the week. Dismissed." Nicholson opened his mouth to protest, but Alex just walked out of the room.

"Gotcha," Sanchez said, clapping Nicholson on the shoulder. She chuckled again.

"It's not fair," he muttered, going to his computer and beginning to flip through the files.

"Well, seeing as you're supposed to be a computer genius, you should have fixed it before he showed up. At least, I think that was what Alex intended," Harvey put in. Nicholson just growled.

~o^o~

204—Ghostwriter. 201-2—Guy With 1000 Names. 203 is a combination from Guy with 1000 Names and F-35 Phoenix, who is also responsible for 205-8. 210 from WolfsbaneX.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own Power Rangers, Doctor Who, The Flintstones, Scooby Doo, Batman, Wonder Woman, Back to the Future, Speed Buggy, Star Wars, Star Fox, the Wizard of Oz, Wicked, Super Sentai, Dukes of Hazzard, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Knight Rider, the A-Team, or the Addams Family.

~o^o~

Sanchez, Nicholson and Harvey sat in the basement of the 1960's BBC archives. They hardly dared to breathe, worried that someone might catch them. The guys were taking this much less seriously than Sanchez, though, who was gaining a reputation as the resident nerd.

"Guys," she hissed, from several shelves of film over. They tiptoed over, and Sanchez turned around, looking down at a roll of film marked "TDMP." Her hands were shaking.

"Great, the others are probably around here somewhere," Nicholson said, shining his flashlight around the dusty shelves.

"What's so special about this roll, Sanchez?" Harvey asked, noticing the way her face fell.

"This is The Dalek's Master Plan," she breathed, wiping the dust off the film cover. "One of the greatest serials of Doctor Who, and we only had three episodes. There are fans who would kill for this."

"Well, now they won't have to," Harvey replied, as Nicholson returned with an armload of film roll cases.

"Was it the Ice Waters or the Ice Warriors?" He hissed, passing the armload to Sanchez.

"Warriors," Sanchez replied, putting the rolls in her backpack. "Keep looking." Nicholson went off, and Sanchez pulled a piece of paper out of her backpack's front pocket.

"Where did you get that?" Harvey demanded, and tried to grab it from her, but Sanchez pulled it out of his reach.

"Mine," she said, "we can't read out loud down here, and you guys still owe me. You get these to the Time ship and scanned, and I'll let you have this when you're done." Glaring, Harvey picked up her backpack and went out the back door. Sanchez sat down in a creaky wooden chair and started reading.

221. Jayden has already been talked to, I don't need to tell him that he takes life too seriously.

222. I will never allow the Dino Thunder and Mighty Morphin/Zeo/Turbo Rangers to meet. The story swapping, and resulting destruction of the DT Rangers' respect for Tommy, might interfere with their fighting ability.

223. I cannot absorb the entire Morphing Grid to become a Bad Wolf-like entity and wipe all evil from the universe.

-And if I try, I will not expect anyone to save me from the resulting head explosion.

-I will not try to convince a villain to do this, either.

-Or a Ranger I particularly dislike.

224. I can't teach an Alpha unit karate.

225. I am only wasting my time by trying to house-train RIC.

226. I will not shout "Yabba Dabba Doo!" whenever a Mighty Morphin' or Dino Thunder ranger dismounts his/her zord.

227. I will not attempt to convert the following vehicles into Zords: The Mystery Machine, the Batmobile—all of them—Wonder Woman's Invisible Jet (No invisible Megazords!), Doc Brown's DeLorean Time Machine, Speed Buggy, the Millennium Falcon, or any kind of Arwing.

-Not even if it's been requested.

228. I will not place a White, Red, or Black Candle around any post-Green Ranger form of Tommy.

-The Candle(s) might take away another ranger's powers.

229. I won't ask Dulcea how she manages to oversee an entire planet all by herself, if she's stuck on one plateau.

230. I won't question the Tenga Warriors' fighting abilities to their faces.

-Just because the Power Rangers can pound them does not mean I can.

231. Rita is not the Wicked Witch of the West.

-Goldar is not her Flying Monkey.

-Zordon is not the Wizard of Oz.

-In fact, there shall be NO Wizard of Oz references.

-For ANY team.

-Nor will I call ANY female Ranger Elphaba, since they have ALL read Wicked.

233. I should not ask Taylor whether Shayla is brain-damaged or just retarded.

234. I also should not annoy Billy in Jason's presence.

-Or Tommy's.

-Or anyone's.

235. It may be tempting, but I should NEVER attempt to tell the school board that Elsa is anything but a nice, sweet woman.

-I should also not tell Conner to annoy her with a guinea pig.

236. I will not bring the Sentai counterpart of any current or previous Power Rangers team together because "it would make an awesome team-up".

-ESPECIALLY if would make an awesome team-up.

-Every single team qualifies.

237. I cannot do any of these things to the Sentai.

-In fact, I'm not allowed to go to Japan ever again due to the Sentai Rangers getting a restraining order against me.

238. Many of the female Rangers are a little freaked out that their Sentai counterparts are male, so I will stop reminding them.

239. I will not scream out "It's a TRAP!" around the following female Rangers: Trini, Maya, Kelsey, Katie, or Taylor.

240. I will not paint any of the vehicle-like Zords to look like the General Lee.

-Nor will I paint them to look like the A-Team van.

-Or KITT from Knight Rider.

-Or Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

-Or the Addams family's car.

-I'm not allowed anywhere near the vehicle-like Zords with anything that looks like paint ever again.

"I thought Highlander was a separate movie, San—you got more Rules?" Nicholson said, coming around the corner with his arms full of film rolls, stopping short as he saw Sanchez reading. She smirked at him.

"Harvey has dibs," she said, "but maybe he'll let you read it on the trip back. And that's not Highlander, it's the Highlanders, and it's Doctor Who." Nicholson rolled his eyes and put the pile down, just as Harvey came back with the still-loaded backpack.

"Sanchez, you take this load to the ship, Nicholson can put these away, and I'll read the rules," Harvey said, taking the paper from Sanchez. She started unloading the backpack.

~o^o~

222 from FinaleUltimacian. 226-8 from Scrappy-Fan92. 232-5 from PinkRangerV. 236-40 from Dark Angel: Version 4.0. Thank you for all your suggestions, keep them PG and keep them coming!


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the following; Power Rangers, Star Wars, Splash, Home Improvement, Spaceballs, Marvel Comics, Napoleon Dynamite, or the Protectors of the Plot Continuum.

~o^o~

Just for once, the newest attachment of Rules arrived when the three cadets were off-duty. They were slipped through the sliding doors of Harvey's room, where he'd been reading, and he quickly gathered the others. Popping out her earbuds, Sanchez sat down on the bed next to Nicholson, and waited. Harvey tipped his chair back, and read.

"241. I will not get into a debate over the pros and cons of buttery or non-buttery toast with Bridge again.

-He still hasn't been released from SPD's medical wing after the rampage he went through when I said, "If only knew the POWER of the non-buttery toast side."

242. No, the villains' motto is not: "Join the bad guys. We have chocolate chip cookies."

-I will not attempt to make this their motto.

243. Master Xandred is not another of Rita's long-lost children just because he always seems to have a headache.

-I will not ask Mystic Mother if she is sure about this.

-Mainly due to the fact that she is still a little embarrassed about Thrax.

244. I will absolutely not make any Red Ranger that doesn't have a battlizer a battlizer.

- No matter how much they deserve it.

245. Despite the fact that Madison is a mermaid-themed Ranger, she is not actually a mermaid, and will only be confused by "Splash" references.

246. I will not try to talk Cam into attacking "that guy who stole his position" because he didn't.

-Nor will I do the same to Mike Corbett.

-Or both at once.

247. I will not ask the Samurai Rangers what their last names are.

-No matter how funny their resulting panic from not knowing is.

248. Tim Taylor is not allowed to work on any Ranger tools or Zords.

-Or anything else Ranger related.

249. No matter how ridiculous a trick the Rangers have just fallen for, I can't shout out that "Evil will always triumph, because Good is dumb!"

250. Nor may I play with action figures of the Rangers or villains anywhere near them.

251. I will not grab Sensei Watanabe, scratch his stomach, and say, "Who's a good little guinea pig?"

- Nor will I say, "I liked you better as a guinea pig," when he's back in human form.

- No matter how true it is.

-_Especially_ if it's true.

252. I will not mess up an early SPD battle to get the Omega Ranger to get there faster.

253. I will not, I repeat NOT, under ANY circumstances create a Villain's Pageant to see who's "the ugliest of them all."

254. I will not insist that Dr. Mercer is the Abomination.

- Or any other villain with similar attributes.

255. I will not pester any of these people to build me a Zord: Alpha 5, Alpha 6, Billy, Captain Mitchell, Zurgane, Hayley, Dr. Hartford, Commander Cruger, Kat Manx, Dr. K, or any other techie.

-I am also forbidden from pestering a non-techie into trying to build one.

256. I will not litter in front of Lightspeed Rescue team.

- Or SPD.

- Or Operation Overdrive.

- Okay, I'm not allowed to litter, period.

-And if I so much as think of doing it in front of Wild Force, I will not expect anybody to rescue me from the resulting environmental lecture.

257. I will not play Ronny in Texas Hold 'Em.

- Even if I'm good at it.

- ESPECIALLY if I'm good at it.

- Any game against Ronny is a lose-lose situation.

258. I will not compare Chip to Napoleon Dynamite.

- Nor will I ask him to do the dance.

- And Vida will kill me if I start comparing her to Pedro.

259. I am not allowed to replace a member of any team with a friend or myself.

- I'd get kicked out on the first day, anyway.

-Nor can I replace them with a Mary Sue/Gary Stu.

-Because then I'd have the PPC on my back as well.

260. I will not claim that the Omega Megazord is Alpha from the future

- Nor will I say that he is the Omega Ranger's personal Megazord.

- I also cannot claim that Alpha ends up as the Omegamax Megazord.

- Or that any version of Alpha becomes the Omega Ranger."

"Wow, a Greek-dependent joke," Nicholson said.

"Well, Alpha and Omega was a common phrase then as well," Sanchez replied, swinging her earbuds around on their cord.

"Oh, and you're the expert on the twenty-first century, are you?" Nicholson retorted.

"If you're going to fight, do it in the hallway, or one of your rooms," Harvey said, letting his chair thump back on all four feet. "I just got this place cleaned up." The two rose and left, not taking their eyes off each other, and Harvey settled back into his book.

~o^o~

241-3 from Dark Angel: Version 4.0. 244 and 251-9 from WolfsbaneX. 245-6 from Pink Wolf Princess. 248 from webdoor. Somehow "Thank you" seems like too little, but "Thanks for your support" too much. Whatever.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own Power Rangers, Star Wars, Pirates of the Caribbean, Aladdin, Doctor Who or Harry Potter.

~o^o~

"Obstacle courses," Sanchez gasped, and tried to swipe mud off her face, only succeeding in getting more on.

"Apparently," Nicholson said, pausing before he started up the ladder, "even now, people like putting the lower ranks through everything they can think of." He rolled his shoulders, and started climbing.

"If we had some montage music, that would help," Harvey said, as he came out the tube behind the others.

"Rules at the end," Sanchez said, getting up and starting for the ladder.

"Or that," Harvey replied, putting on a burst of speed.

The three arrived at the end of the obstacle course seven minutes later, completely winded. The computer scanned their retinas, and brought the next segment of Rules up.

261. I will not try to switch the Omega Megazord with the Omegamax Megazord.

262. I will not ask Kat Manx or Doggie why they don't hate each other when one's a cat and the other's a dog.

263. I will not attempt to recreate Billy's mind transfer machine.

- Even if I am a technological wizard.

- ESPECIALLY if I am a technological wizard.

- And I will not use Bulk and Skull as test subjects.

- No matter if I can con them into volunteering, I still cannot do it.

264. I will not bring up the "Cyber Diaper" to Jack.

- Nor will I show him the action figure in question.

265. I will not replace any mentor with the following: C-3PO, Jar Jar Binks, Captain Jack Sparrow, Bulk, Skull, Spike, Boom, or any other character I can think of that would make a terrible mentor.

266. I will not replace Alpha 5 or 6 with R2 D2 or C3PO.

- Or any other droid.

267. I am not allowed to arrange for one of those "Ranger/villain is sucked into the real world" fanfics to actually happen.

-Nor may I do the "girl gets sucked into her TV" one either.

-Or any other overused fanfiction idea.

-Especially if I "make it interesting."

268. Spike may or may not be the Gold Samurai Ranger, but I will not give him the powers even if it is this Antonio person.

269. I should NEVER mention Of Love And Bunnies around Tommy and Kim. They twitch.

-And, just to clarify, that is a bad thing.

-The same goes for any other fanfic.

-Especially (name removed in case someone tries to find it, because Tommy/Kimberly/Kat/Zedd/Rita/all of the above would kill them.)

270. I will not ask Tommy why he got his hair cut.

-Or mock his goatee.

271. Nor will I inquire whether Tommy and Dana used a combo of a time machine and the Fountain of Youth to get their doctorates so fast.

272. I will not give any Ranger a TARDIS.

273. I will not mention to the Tenth Doctor that some PR teams can travel between dimensions/universes.

274. I will not ask any known Ranger sibling if they have an inferiority complex.

-Especially if they're a Ranger themselves.

-Nor will I try to convince them that they really do have one.

-Or try to give them one.

275. I will not continue my investigation of a Revolutionary War-era Angel Grove, despite California not even being discovered at that time.

-Nor how that town became the Wild West version later on.

276. I will leave Tom Oliver—Tommy's clone—_alone_.

-No, he is not the perfect solution to the Kat vs. Kim problem!

277. I will not ask Zordon if he was ever a Power Ranger.

- Or Dimitria.

- Or Ninjor.

- Or any other mentor.

- Tommy is okay, though, as long as you've gotten past the "secret identity" thing.

278. No, we do not need more Purple Rangers.

-No, not Brown either.

-Not even if I call it Bronze.

279. I cannot wire SPD's loudspeakers to play "One Jump Ahead" whenever Jack enters the room.

-Nor may I blame Boom for it.

280. I will not swap Udonna and Professor McGonagall.

-Or Dumbledore and Zordon.

-Or Lord Zedd and Lord Voldemort.

-Just because they both have equally bad hair does not mean Astronema, Dulcea and Bellatrix Lestrange are interchangeable.

"Okay, where are the showers?" Sanchez asked. "They keep rearranging this place."

"Follow me," Nicholson said, already getting up.

~o^o~

260-61 from Ventus Astrum. 262 from Ghostwriter. 263-8 and 277 from WolfsbaneX. 269 from PinkRangerV. 270-4 from Pink Wolf Princess.


	15. Chapter 15

I am borrowing these for fun: Power Rangers, the Court Jester, Star Wars, Stargate, Big Bad Beetleborgs, Gundam, the Internet, or 300.

~o^o~

Sanchez was browsing through the internet, which had survived until the year 3000 on RPGs and nerdy Wikis for the most part. She was reading through various fanfics when a message popped up, from Harvey. Rules! Grinning, Sanchez opened the document, and began reading.

281. I will not get Summer to hypnotize Ziggy to switch between himself and a brave, competent personality whenever someone snaps their fingers.

-Nor will I get her to do this to anyone else.

-Nor will I do it myself.

282. RJ is not Mace Windu.

283. I will stop asking Billy to build a system of Stargates, even if I don' call him Daniel anymore.

284. If I somehow get involved in the Forever Red Mission, I will never mention the existence of a superhero group known as the "Big Bad Beetleborgs."

-Nor may I reference them.

-Or insinuate to the rest of the Rangers that the Machine Empire Generals are really them.

-I especially cannot ask the generals themselves if they really are the Beetleborgs, or some cheap Machine Empire-manufactured copies.

-?

-PROFIT!

285. I cannot quote internet memes in front of the Power Rangers.

-Especially before those memes were created.

286. I am not allowed to try to convince Tommy to scare the other Rangers when he's stuck in his invisible form.

287. I will not tell any Red Ranger "Just because you're the Red Ranger doesn't mean you're three times faster and better than the average Ranger... 'specially the green one..."

288. If I am working with Lightspeed Rescue, I won't start to sing a modified version of "Tobe Gundam"/Fly Gundam"/any other Gundam related theme.

- No matter how eerily it looks like any given Megazord.

289. I will never bring the topic up to the Wild Force team that their Isis Megazord resembles the XXXG-00W0 Wing Gundam Zero Custom.

- We don't want to get sued by Sunrise Corporation for copyrights infringements, thank you very much.

- And neither we would want Heero Yui to hear about this; the last thing anyone needs is for the Isis Megazord to be destroyed by the Wing Gundam Zero Custom's twin booster rifles before the final battle against Master Org. The Wild Zords are strong, but not built with Gundanium Alloy.

-And no, that is not a good idea!

290. I will not collect Divatox, Captain Mutiny and the Gokaigers and pit them against the Ninjetti, Ninja Storm, Lothor and Kamdor to "see once and for all whether pirates or ninjas reign supreme."

291. I cannot write funny, netspeak-filled messages on photos of either Kat.

-Or Cruger and Isinia.

292. Yes, some people's names are hard to pronounce. No, I cannot stand in front of them trying every possible inflection to see which sounds right; I will just ask Isinia/Leanbow/Sensei Kanoi Watanabe/anyone else with such a name how to pronounce it!

293. I will not call Kat Hilliard "P.C." or "Park Cat."

294. I will not teach the Aquitian Rangers "Earth etiquette".

-Nor Andros, Zhane, Karone, Maya or Tyzonn.

295. Forever Red was a one time thing, so I will not arrange for it to happen again.

- No matter how much I want to.

-Not even if I can get a petition signed by everyone I know that it should happen.

296. I am not allowed to stalk rangers I think are attractive.

- Because I would then be on the wrong end of a beatdown.

297. I will not program the Cyclobots to perform cheering routines during monster battles.

-Or any other oddly happy robot.

298. I cannot suggest that Nadira stop wearing cotton candy on her head.

299. I can only shout "It's a trap!" if I actually have a good, logical reason to tell someone this.

300. If I happen to be around when the Ninja Storm Rangers are disposing of Lothor, I will not shout "This! Is! SPARTA!" as he falls.

-Nor can I shout it whenever I am not actually in Sparta.

"Sanchez! You're wanted in Simulator 7!" The cadet jumped as her messenger announced from the wall. Flexing her rather sore wrist, she got up and held her hand in front of the motion-sensing device.

"Coming," she said, and started out the door.

~o^o~

282-3 from Pink Wolf Princess. 284 and 287-9 from Wing Zero 032. 286 from Ghostwriter. 294-6 from WolfsbaneX.

A/N: I have a question for my readers, inspired from another rule that WolfsbaneX sent me. Shall I reference specific fanfics in my jokes? Yes, I did Love and Bunnies, but I'm talking about more specific things, like jokes based on OC's names and such. Thoughts?


	16. Chapter 16

I do not own: Power Rangers, Gundam, F-Zero, the Ars Amatoria challenge, Big, Hail to the Chief, Dukes of Hazzard, or the Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

~o^o~

Harvey looked through his camera, and knelt to adjust the tripod again. Sanchez, on the roof of the building opposite, spoke into her communicator.

"I don't see why we're doing this," she said.

"The Zord battles are part of Ranger history," Harvey recited, standing up again. "We can get film records of them, so we're going to. You all set?"

"Yes." Nicholson, on the ground, broke into the conversation.

"Are you guys absolutely sure no debris is going to take us out?"

"Yes, otherwise they wouldn't have sent us," Harvey said, and pulled a sheet of paper out of his pocket. "We have a bit of a wait, so Captain Logan sent some rules. I'll read them to you." Clearing his throat, Harvey sat down and unfolded the paper.

"301. I am not, under any circumstances, allowed to ask any of the bad guys why they have such horrible names.

-Nor am I allowed to ask them "Did your mother hate you?" because in the end, it's not important anyway, and I will just get another beating.

302. I will not try to convince Conner that running around at super speed screaming while punching a monster from every direction, and shouting "HOKUTO HYAKURETSU-KEN!" as it falls is a new, innovative strategy.

-No matter how cool it looks.

-If the monster recovers, I am not allowed to say "...It doesn't matter, you're already dead, your body has only 10 seconds left before collapse..." whether it's true or not.

- I can definitely not modify a Megazord to pull this kind of attack; the collateral damage will be worse than the actual monster attack.

-Especially if I don't know how.

303. If I somehow get my grubby little hands on fire-based powers I will not make a falcon-shaped flame around my fist, and punch with it while screaming "_FALCON PUNCH!"_

- No matter how awesome it looks.

- Especially if I decide to call myself "Captain Falcon," no matter how hard I worked on the costume.

304. If somehow I witness a Megazord use a flaming punch-style attack, I will not start monologuing anything from G-Gundam.

305. I cannot ask the Rangers involved which pairing they prefer.

306. I should never mention any Ars Amatoria challenge to any Ranger.

307. I shall never try to pit mentor against mentor to see who's the best one, because with their combined brain power they'll realize who the real enemy is and pound me into the pavement.

308. I will not start a petition for a "Forever Blue" or "Forever Yellow" or "Forever Pink" or "Forever Green" no matter how awesome it'd be.

-No, not even if I combine colors.

309. I am not allowed to make up a lame reason for Rocky not being in the Forever Red mission (I.E., Tommy forgot to call him).

-I can make up an excuse that sounds plausible, like "He was sick in bed and couldn't go."

-"He broke his arm while saving a baby from an apartment fire started by an earthquake" is not plausible, however much he approves.

310. Though it's probably a good idea, I will not shoot Justin with an aging ray so that he'll "be of age."

- We do not need a Power Ranger version of Big, really!

311. I will not make a female OC for Ninja Storm, Dino Thunder, or Jungle Fury so Tori, Kira, and Lily "won't be the only girl on the team."

- Especially if it's a Mary Sue.

-And no, my making her unable to swim does not fix Sue-ness.

312. I will not laugh at Billy during a civilian fight with Putty Patrollers because he can't fight.

313. I will not petition the government so the national anthem can be the Mighty Morphin' Theme Song.

- Or any other team's/ranger's theme song.

- Or to have it played instead of "Hail to the Chief".

- Let's just not mess with patriotic songs.

314. I will not try to fight Tommy Oliver.

- He has two black belts and purple belt in Brazilian Jujitsu, so I'm pretty  
much signing my death warrant.

315. I will not try to re-enact anything from Dukes of Hazzard with the Turbo Zords.

-Or shout 'Yeeeee Haw!' while driving them.

316. I will not call Dr. Mercer Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde.

-nor will I try to convince a mob with torches and pitchforks to go after him.

317. I will not try to get Zack to go clubbing with me.

-No matter how fun it would be.

318. I will not try to explain how sinkholes really work to any of the Dino Thunder team

-Specifically, Ethan.

319. I will not 'Accidentally' spill chili on any ranger equipment.

-And I will not cry over the spilt chili.

-Nor will I demand replacement chili or try to eat the spilt chili.

-In fact, I am not allowed to have chili around the rangers at all.

-The same goes for any other messy food.

320. I will not go back in time and turn the cookie monster into the buttery toast monster.

-No matter how much Bridge asks/begs/bribes me to.

-Not even as a birthday present for hi—"

"Hey, giant monster at four o'clock!" Sanchez said, cutting Harvey off. The Time Force officers scrambled to their feet just as the Zords arrived.

"I always loved the Ninjetti Zords," Sanchez said. Harvey zoomed in on the Ape Zord as it folded to form the Megazord.

"Even the Frog?" Nicholson asked.

"Frogs are cool!" Sanchez cried, as the Megazord finished its transformation. "Why does nobody understand this?"

~o^o~

301 from H4cK3r404. 302-4 from Wing Zero 032. 305-8 from Pink Wolf Princess. 309 from Ghostwriter. 310-14 from WolfsbaneX. 315-20 from DV2.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: Power Rangers," Friday," Stephen Colbert, "Samuel Jackson," Harry Potter, Naruto, Doctor Horrible, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Masked Rider, and Rocky and Bullwinkle are not mine. At all.

~o^o~

The common cold. Unconquered even in the year 3000. And all three cadets had caught it.

"I wouldn't mind," Nicholson sniffled, "If it just made sense. But the back of my neck hurts. Why is that a cold symptom?"

"At least you didn't have to go on patrol," Harvey said, and coughed. Sanchez, draped over a chair, blew her nose loudly and moaned. Then the doors slid open a crack, and a piece of paper dropped in.

"Hey, rules!" Sanchez cried, sitting up and pointing. Harvey dove for them, and unfolded the paper with much fumbling.

"My throat hurts too much to talk," he said, passing the paper to Sanchez, who he knew had the cold in her head. She cleared her throat.  
"321. I will not try to get the Turbo rangers arrested for speeding.

-Or driving without a license.

-Or driving underage.

- Trust us, Eric and Wes or Lightspeed Rescue would bail them out anyway.

322. I will not force Kira or Tanya to listen to/watch "Friday" by Rebecca Black.

-The Stephen Colbert version is ok, though.

323. No matter how upset Octoroo gets, I cannot accuse him of turning into a Giant Squid of Anger.

324. I will not build an Ultrazord or something bigger and bluff things to the enemy like "Once the (insert name of the gigantic monstrosity) is mass produced, the (name of the enemy's army) will fall in no time!"

-not even if is true (Especially if it's true!)And somehow I manage to get financial support so do such a thing.

-even if I put it to fight against Serpentera and overpower it; do you seriously want to erase Forever Red?

325. I absolutely may not design weaponry and/or equipment based on RPC (Rocket Propelled Chainsaw) Technology.

-Even if is a good idea.

-No matter how cool it looks.

-Nor I can justify it by saying "It's in case of a zombie/robot apocalypse."

-And especially if I don't know what I am doing.

326. I will not call Jack's combined red ranger blaster guns "The Ranger Boomstick/shotgun" even if it works that way.

327. I will not play the S.W.A.T. theme or the song called "Samuel Jackson" every time the SPD rangers go to S.W.A.T. mode.

-no matter how epic the results are.

328. I will not try to convince Mystic Force that Mystic Mother didn't really exist until the finale.

329. I will not use the Sorting Hat on the Mystic Force team to see what house they'd be.

- It's pretty obvious that most of them would be Gryffindor.

330. I will not make any Naruto character a ranger.

- Especially not Naruto, Sasuke, Orochimaru, Jiraiya, Tsunade, Kakashi, or any Kage.

331. I will stop accusing Billy of being secretly Doctor Horrible.

-Threatening to tell Penny about all of his previous girlfriends will merely confuse him.

-The Internet has not even been invented, nobody could possibly understand me!

332. In reference to the previous Buffy rules, I am especially prohibited from declaring any Slayer during or directly after Vida's brief stint as a vampire.

-The same goes for the Turbo Rangers about Carlos.

333. It is none of my business whether Leelee is an actual vampire, a human or something else entirely.

334. I will not steal fan-created teams from Jason/Kimberly/Billy/Tommy and give them to Zack/Trini/Rocky/Adam/Aisha/Tanya.

-No, the main Rangers are not overworked.

-Have you considered the fact that the other former Rangers may like civilian life?

335. I cannot create any children of the Rangers through genetic engineering and introduce them to their "parents."

-Nor can I try injecting Ranger DNA into my own body to try to become more like one of them.

-Because I will either end up very evil, very crazy, very embarrassed or very dead.

336. I will not advise the Rangers to store their Zords in Megazord formation, "Just to be ahead of the curve."

-Or even on the grounds that it saves storage space.

337. I will not ask Alpha 5 where Alphas 1-4 are.

338. It is generally considered rude and foolish, not funny, to chase Masked Rider around with a flyswatter/can of Raid.

339. I cannot swap Rocky's Tyrannosaurus/Ape Zord for a Flying Squirrel Zord.

-Especially if I give someone else a Moose Zord."

"Hey, why'd you stop?" Harvey asked, sitting up on the bed. Sanchez waved the paper at him.

"That's it. There's a 340, but it's blank. Well, sort of blank." Squinting at the paper, Sanchez read out, "Underneath it says, ran out of ideas. Make your own." Nicholson covered his eyes with his hands and groaned.

"They expect us to think like this?" He cried, flopping back in his chair dramatically. Harvey, though, paused.

"We don't need to think," He said, "that's sort of the point. We just need to be funny."

"You have an idea?" Sanchez asked, and Harvey grinned widely at her.

~o^o~

Captain Logan walked into HQ, and stopped up short. He had to; most of the room was taken up by an enormous fort. It was mainly constructed of cardboard boxes and empty crates, though there were several chairs, blankets and pillows visible. He saw one reddish eye peek through a crack, and then Harvey's hoarse voice rang forth.

"Give the password, whether ye be friend or foe!"

"Cadets," Captain Logan began, but the trio cut him off with battle cries.

"He's back!" Sanchez shouted, popping up in a tower in the middle and pointing to Alex, who'd just entered the room. Before Alex could do more than glare at them, the three started lobbing balled-up socks at him. Nicholson stuck his arm out a window and threw a paper plane at the two officers, and Captain Logan caught it. Unfolding it, he read the final rule:

340. I cannot build a box fort in any Ranger HQ, no explanation required.

~o^o~

321 from DV2. 322-7 from Wing Zero 032—who is also responsible for 340 and the end! 329 from Ghostwriter. 330-1 from WolfsbaneX. 332 from Pink Wolf Princess. 333 from alpha of denali wolf pack.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I do not own Megas XLR Mass Effect World of Warcraft, Twilight, Super Sentai, Road Rovers, S.W.A.T. Kats, Garfield and Charlie Brown.

~o^o~

"Okay, what's the plan?" All of the current new Time Force officers—about twelve—were in the ancient past, hiding behind an enormous bush. On the other side of the bush was a stegosaurus, guarding a nest full of giant eggs, fidgeting nervously and giving the smoking volcano nearby nervous glances. Nicholson had spoken, and Harvey replied first, glancing at the stegosaurus.

"Who's the fastest runner? Okay, Maddox and Hammond, you and I will sneak around to the other side of the dinosaur, and we'll all jump out yelling and lure the dinosaur away. Then the rest of you collect the eggs as fast as you can, and meet us up in those trees." He pointed to a pair of enormous pines on the far side of the clearing. Ten of his teammates nodded, but one of the guys there didn't seem to be paying attention. Maddox poked him in the shoulder, and he started.

"Jenkins? You heard the plan, right?" Harvey asked.

"Sure!" Jenkins replied, scrambling to his feet and drawing his pistol. "Charge in yelling and get the eggs! All right chaps! Thumbs up! Let's do this!" Then, before anyone could respond, he charged around the bush.

"Leeeeeeroooooy Jenkins!" He howled, sending off several wild blasts roughly in the stegosaurus's direction, as his teammates goggled in pure disbelief.

"What the—" Sanchez began.

"This is Sparta, much?" Nicholson interrupted. They flinched as a shot fried a nearby sapling.

"Maddox, Hammond, follow me," Harvey sighed, drawing his own gun. The other two men stood, giving each other weary looks. They were Jenkins's regular teammates. "Addendum: don't let the stegosaurus or Jenkins kill each other." The three ran out, with yells of their own.

"Hey look at me, I'm a target!"

"I've lost my miiiiiind!"

"What on _Earth_ do you think you're doing, Jenkins?"

Seven minutes later, as Harvey, Maddox, Hammond and Jenkins climbed the pine trees, trying not to fall off as the stegosaurus whacked the trees with its tail, Jenkins tried to make amends.

"Well, at least I have an egg," he said, patting his thigh pocket. The others merely glared at him, and he climbed a bit higher.

"While we wait for the others to finish their job and rescue us," Harvey said, getting a sheet of paper out of his pocket with much wriggling.

"Great! Anything to keep our minds off the angry mama dinosaur downstairs," Hammond said, as the creature in question hit the tree again.

"It'll get bored and leave," Harvey assured, flattening out the paper against the tree and trying to avoid sticking it in pine tree sap.

"341. I know that Divatox is sick of vampire movies, so I will not send her Twilight.

-Not even in the hopes of seeing the Rangers fight Monster!Edward/Bella/Jacob.

342. I am not allowed to write a Ranger version of Edgar Allan Poe's "The Raven" entitled "The Raven Zord."

- Not even if there is a team with a female ranger named Lenore who has recently passed.

343. I will not create my own "Once a Ranger" team.

344. I will not make any Twilight character a Ranger.

- Let's face it, they suck.

345. I will not make a vampire ranger team and a werewolf ranger team and pit them against each other to see which is supreme.

-Nor will I assemble one using Vampire!Carlos, Vampire!Vida, Necrolai, and Merrick, Leanbow, RJ and any werewolf monsters.

346. I will not try to play "Got your nose" with Nayzor.

347. I am not allowed to introduce any ranger, villain, mentor, or ally to their Sentai equivalent.

348. I will not create a Ranger team with plants as Zords.

- Because that would be uber weird.

349. I will not have a tournament of Rangers to see which one is best.

- It's obvious Tommy's going to come out on top, what with the power of five different Rangers.

- Nor will I do this with villains, mentors, etc.

350. I will not salvage any wrecked Megazord and modify it as my personal everyday vehicle.

-No matter how cool it looks at the end.

-Or how awesomely it outperforms the original.

-Even if I've replaced it with my ridiculously modified car and/or control it with video game consoles, old or new.

351. If I somehow manage to build my own Zord/Megazord/Ultrazord/all of the above, I will absolutely make sure to install, maintain and regularly repair the "save the world" button and not the "destroy the world" button, the "destroy the world (bad)" button, or the "destroy the world (worse)" button instead, not the other way around.

-This also goes for the missile buttons which I will push once to get my results, not tap it, push and then punch it for effect.

352. I will not hijack the Pirahnatrons/Cogs/Cyclobots/Quantrons/ any other robot or any other cannon fodder of robotic origin, break into their operative system and makes them say_ "Assuming direct control," _and make them start attacking one another.

-Especially when I don't know what I'm doing.

-Even if it will benefit the Rangers, this would cause an increase in collateral damage.

-If I do that anyway, I should make them attack the main monster or current general.

-But I cannot do this to the Blue Centurion, not even in an emergency.

353. I will not mention, under any circumstances, the nickname "Technicolor Ranger" in the presence of Thomas Oliver. I will live to regret it…maybe.

-If he twitches, that is worse, not better.

-I'm pretty much signing my death warrant and announcing to the world my date of public execution.

"Hey, Leroy, have you already seen this list?" Harvey asked, glancing over at Jenkins, who shook his head. "I guess this was about some ancestor of yours, listen:

354. When the Rangers are preparing and planning the final assault to their enemy's base/fortress/HQ, I will not pull a Leeroy Jenkins battle strategy.

-Especially while screaming "All right chaps! Thumbs up! Let's do this!, *Scream your full name as loud and long as you can while running*!

-We don't need everyone but the enemy killed!

-And NO! JUST NO! THAT'S ABSOLUTLELY THE WORST IDEA EVER!

355. Projecting films on the side of the Command Center is prohibited.

-Even if it would be cool.

-The same goes for the Zords.

356. Commander Cruger is not a Road Rover.

-Nor is Kat Manx a S.W.A.T. Kat.

357. I am not allowed to bribe Billy into shutting down the Morphing Grid.

358. If I value my life, I will not put up "No Dogs Allowed" signs around SPD HQ.

-The same goes for "Beware of Dog" signs.

359. I will not refer to Commander Cruger as Odie, Snoopy or any other famous dog.

-EVER.

360. The players from the New York and Texas Rangers are NOT Power Rangers in disguise.

-Neither is any member of the U.S. Army Rangers. Stop trying to find out!"

The Time Ship came overhead just as Harvey finished, and he found, to his distress, that the top of the sheet of paper had been glued to the pine tree by sap. Finally tearing it free, he shoved the sheet in his pocket and climbed the ladder after the other four.

~o^o~

Rules 342-9 from WolfsbaneX. Rules 350-354 from Wing Zero 032. Rules 355-60 from T. F. Crosby.

Oh, and I'm totally going to break rule 348 at some point. Venus Flytrap Zord...


	19. Chapter 19

Things that are not mine: Power Rangers, Stargate, Harry Potter, Narnia, The Hobbit, Puff the Magic Dragon, Thundercats, Kellogs, Cheetos, King Kong, Zoids, Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom, and the suggestions.

Things I own: My terrible trio, some of the addendums to the rules.

~o^o~

Nicholson punched the computer panel, only succeeding in bruising his hand.

"Simulator programs!" He hissed, clutching his hand and hopping a few steps back.

"Harder than you thought, right?" Harvey asked from behind Nicholson, startling him.

"I'd like to see you try it," Nicholson snapped. Putting up his hands, Harvey came closer.

"I didn't mean anything, I just thought you'd like to see the newest addition to the lists," he said, pulling a data disc out of his pocket. Nicholson snatched it away and popped it into the computer. The machine whined, and Nicholson kicked it to make it restart. The document popped up.

361. Making "Wanted: Dead OR Alive" posters of your superiors or team mates is prohibited.

-Even if they annoy you.

362. Asking Billy, or any other techie for that matter, to build you a staff weapon/zat'nik'tel/Goa'uld weapon of any kind is prohibited.

-No matter how cool it would be.

363. Cheyenne Mountain is NOT the "new" Command Center.

-Nor is Gen. Hammond the "new" Zordon.

364. I will not refer to Dulcea's owl spirit as Hedwig.

365. Just because their particular animal is the wolf, that does not mean Billy, Merrick, RJ & Leanbow are werewolves. Stop saying they are.

366. The Jungle Fury Rangers are not were-anything.

367. Jarrod is not Aslan in human form.

368. There is no such thing as a Narnian Ranger. I will stop insisting there is.

369. Alpha is not a hobbit in a robot costume.

370. I will not refer to Dai Shi as Smaug.

-Or Puff the Magic Dragon.

-Nor will I sing the Puff theme around him, if I wish to live.

371. I will not hold any sword/saber to my face and say, "Sword of Omens, give me sight beyond sight."

372. I will stop asking if Pyramidas has a ring platform.

373. I will stop asking Casey if he thinks Kellog's Frosted Flakes are "GRRR-REAT!"

-The same goes for Tommy and Alyssa.

374. I will not go back and prevent Billy from losing his powers.

-No matter how much it sucked.

-Nor will I try to create new powers for him.

375. I will not try to replace all the animal Zords with Zoids.

-No matter how cool it may be.

376. I will not steal Rocky's Ape Zord and climb the Empire State Building.

-Even though it would be fun.

-Especially if I steal Kat/Syd/Kendrix/Karone/Dana/Tori/Ronny/Summer/Emily/Taylor for a prop.

-Getting Rocky to do it while under that irresponsibility spell is an equally bad idea.

377. I will not ask the Aquitian Rangers if they would be a part of my personal aquarium.

378. I will stop bothering Billy.

-Period.

-End of story.

379. I will stop asking the animal based teams if they are sponsored by "The Mutual of Omaha."

-Or if they are going to do a show for Animal Planet.

380. I will stop calling Lily's animal spirit Chester and trying to give it Cheetos.

"Thanks," Nicholson said, taking the disc out and returning it to Harvey. He was much calmer now, cheerful even.

"No problem," Harvey replied, putting the disc back in his pocket. He strolled away, and Nicholson turned with a heavy sigh back to the simulator program. Then, he brightened up as an idea struck him.

"It could work," he said, and began typing.

~o^o~

A/N: All of the rules this time are from T. F. Crosby, thank you so much! Don't worry, everyone, your suggestions are coming, but…well, you saw the review.


	20. Chapter 20

~o^o~

"So, what's this simulation again?" Sanchez asked, hopping from one foot to the other. She and Harvey were in the simulation deck, waiting for Nicholson to put the final touches on his new program."

"A surprise," Nicholson said, not looking up at her.

"Ah," Sanchez said. Nicholson shut the panel with a casual shove, and hit the button. The blue-and-white walls instantly became a city. Something roared loudly, making all three officers jump. Harvey spotted it first.

"You didn't…" he said, looking at Nicholson with incredulous horror. The ground shook, nearly knocking the three off-balance.

"The mission is to rescue the Ape Zord from evil versions of ourselves," Nicholson said gleefully, "Without it getting damaged." Sanchez facepalmed.

"Okay…" Harvey began, and started pacing. Then an idea struck him. "Fight fire with fire," he said, pulling a sheet of paper out of his pocket. The trio ducked into a nearby building to read through the list.

381. The All-Ranger-Teams Water Balloon Fight may have been fun, but due to insane continuity issues Time Force would rather we not try to make it an annual event.

-Especially if I invite the villains; they're water balloons, they are not supposed to explode!

-Besides, all the bits of plastic left over bother the Wild Force Rangers.

382. I cannot reprogram either the Astro Megaship or SPD's simulators to bring up mini-golf no matter what the user wants.

-Not even if I use living monsters as the obstacles.

383. I will not bring up fan-created Ranger teams to canon Rangers, it will only confuse them.

-Especially not ones they "created/joined/mentored."

-If they got a new love interest, I am banned from even_ thinking_ of the team in that Ranger's presence!

384. I will not try to recreate the Nestene Consciousness and possess Mack using it.

-Nor can I install a gun in his hand without his prior permission.

-Especially if I have no idea how.

385. I am forbidden from using technobabble.

-Unless it's to keep a villain from altering the time stream.

386. I will not ask the Rangers how often they wash their suits.

-Or Wes, Carter and Leo where they got their helmets repaired.

387. I will not steal Thrax's dumpster, de-age him and hand him off to the Mystic Mother so she can "try raising him the right way this time."

388. Red Ranger =/= Red Shirt, and I will stop insisting otherwise.

-The same goes for Gold Rangers and Gold Shirts.

389. I cannot insult people I dislike to their faces in Klingon.

-Especially not while wielding a bat'leth.

390. I am not allowed to even try swapping Princess Shayla's necklace for a clever fake.

-No, Merrick's resulting manhunt will not get them finally together; it just means more pain for me.

"Okay, ideas?" Harvey asked, crumpling the paper and shoving it in his pocket. The ground shook again.

"One, get whichever Ranger the Ape Zord's holding her morpher back," Sanchez said, leaning out the window.

"Two, duck," Nicholson added, tackling Sanchez to the floor just in time. An enormous fist slammed right through the wall where she'd been a second before. It felt around for a second, then found Harvey's leg and dragged him out before any of them could react. From inside the Zord, the three could hear their evil doubles laughing.

Sitting up and coughing in the dust-filled air, Sanchez and Nicholson stared at each other in dismay.

"Now what?" Nicholson asked.

Harvey grabbed at the gigantic hand, trying to get upright as it swung him up above the warehouse roof. He glimpsed the blonde in the Zord's other hand, but not long enough to tell who she was. She seemed more annoyed than frightened. Then he was dropped in the cockpit, and evil versions of Nicholson and Sanchez tackled him.

"Gimme," evil Sanchez snapped, ripping the list out of his hand. Evil Nicholson thunked Harvey on the head. The blow wasn't hard enough to knock him out, but he slumped over anyway, waiting for a good opportunity. The evil officers gathered around the controls, and Sanchez read.

"391. I cannot create a team of Power Ranger relatives.

-No matter how qualified David Trueheart is to be a Red Ranger.

392. I cannot give Lieutenant/Detective Stone even a low-level squad of SPD Rangers.

-Yes, once he stopped freaking out, he would be good at training them, please reread that first bit and think about this.

393. Yes, the Time Force badge does resemble a flux capacitor. No, this does not mean Doc Brown founded Time Force. I should really stop trying to prove it.

394. It isn't all that important what the military has been up to since the first space witch invaded, or if it is, it's probably classified to the point that the Vice President doesn't even know. My investigation ends here.

395. No, the retired Rangers didn't go to work for Torchwood.

-Mr. Hartford did not found this universe's version of Torchwood, either.

396. No matter how badly a fight starts going, I cannot go find the Doctor to fix everything.

-The same goes for any Starfleet Captain.

-If I so much as _think_ of getting the crew of Red Dwarf…

397. Jack's genetic ability is just that, a genetic ability. He is not a hologram.

398. I am most definitely not allowed to follow my least favorite Ranger(s) around, pestering them and making myself somehow invisible/not noticeable to all of their friends and slowly driving them insane.

-Not even if it's a big joke and all the friends are just pretending they can't see me.

399. I am not authorized to decorate any Ranger base for whatever holidays I can come up with.

-Especially if I haven't asked the Rangers first.

400. I cannot replace any animal-themed Zords with actual, live, wild animals.

-This goes double for dino-themed Rangers!"

"Hey, where's not-Fay Wray?" Evil Harvey asked, looking out the window. Then a yellow streak slashed across the Ape Zord's chest, and he wobbled off-balance. The Evil officers fell in a heap, and Harvey leaped over them and took the controls. The Zord backed away from all the buildings, and as Evil Harvey tackled his counterpart, Sanchez, Nicholson and the Yellow Wild Force Ranger dropped into the cockpit.

"Uh-oh," Evil Sanchez said, backing up a step. The three newcomers aimed their weapons at the mischief makers, and the real Harvey shoved his way over to them.

"Thanks," he said, testing his bruised shoulder.

"End simulation," a female computer said, and the Ape Zord faded back into the simulation room.

"That," Sanchez said, holstering her gun, "Was the most insane simulation I've ever been through. Make some sequels."

~o^o~

A/N: For once, these rules are all mine, mine, mine! Question: do any of you have favorites from what's already been uploaded?


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I do not own Power Rangers, Mahou Sentai Magiranger, other Sentai Series, Spartacus, Bloody Friday Nightmare, Thomas the Tank Engine, Star Trek, Reb Brown or Doctor Who.

A/N: I am updating everything now because I'm using the library's wireless internet, due to my modem kicking the bucket and not getting replaced until next week.

~o^o~

The three Time Force officers were seated in Ernie's Juice Bar, trying to act casual.

"I think Ernie knows something's up," Sanchez whispered, fiddling with the little braid hanging over her right eye.

"Maybe, but he'll keep his mouth shut," Harvey replied. "He never said anything about all the Power Rangers who passed through here." He leaned forward to tap Nicholson on the shoulder. "Hey, you okay?" Nicholson started.

"Sure!" He squeaked, coughed, and said it again in his normal voice. "Just because these guys were my favorite Rangers doesn't mean I can't control myself." Harvey looked from his fellow to the cluster of original Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers by the bar, and then back. Nicholson was dead to all else.

"If he makes any sudden movements…" he said to Sanchez, who nodded sagely. He checked his watch. "Look, we've got a bit of a wait, so Captain Logan got me more rules. Try to laugh quietly."

"401. Regardless of how their features are described, the brown-eyed/haired Rangers do not in fact have chocolate eyes/hair, and I will not try to eat them.

-Gold/silver/copper/bronze hair is also not the actual metal, either.

-This goes for precious stones as eyes as well.

402. In the chance that they run out of ideas for Power Rangers teams, I am not given authority to travel to Tokyo and get the Sailor Senshi to be the next Ranger team.

-They're done fighting monsters, so there's no need to bother them.

403. I will not ask Tuxedo Mask if he loaned his cape to the Magna Defender or Mystic Rangers.

404. Yes, Lost Galaxy had no Megazords that combined with each other, but that does not mean I can develop a Megazord combo for their team.

405. Don't introduce Necrolai to Nai and Mea. This will only lead to confusion and epic weirdness.

406. Don't leave a book of poems out in the open for others to read. Just ask Lucas: This leads to disaster and horrendous dates.

407. No matter how attractive the villainesses are, don't try to get on their good side by complimenting their looks or asking them out on dates.

408. I will not call the Vypari a "toy."

-Or any other Zord or vehicle, for that matter.

409. I will not convince the Rangers to have dancing at the end of their movies just because "Super Sentai did it."

410. I will not yell "I am Spartacus!" if I happen to be in Angel Grove during the relevant part of Astronema's attack.

-Nor am I allowed to do this at other times.

411. I will not, under any circumstances, kidnap Cindy Sunshine and hold her for ransom.

-or take the head off and bring the body back to Mora's room.

-no matter how tempting that sounds...

412. I will not use Rita's headache complaints as ringtones for my phone and have it ring during important Ranger meetings.

413. I cannot tell Cruger to "sit." I'm just begging to get kicked out...

414. I will not give Necrolai an electric guitar and expect her to sing "Bloody  
Friday Nightmare."

415. I am not allowed to go before the Countdown to Destruction Battle and give any Ranger back their powers/tell them that they still have their powers/give them new powers so they can fight off the evil invasion of Earth.

-No matter how cool it would be.

-And no, I will not ask Justin why he didn't fight in the battle with Storm Blaster.

- He'd probably try to kill me, not explain.

416. No, just because Necrolai had that Mystic Morpher doesn't mean she can morph.

- Nor will I fix it so she can morph.

417. I will not insist that Daggeron's Zord is Thomas the Tank Engine.

418. No, Captain Kirk cannot replace Andros on the Megawinger.

- Nor Spock or any another Star Trek character.

-Seriously, even if he could become the Red Ranger, the universe might just implode from the sheer hammy awesomeness of it.

419. While Jayden's big secret _may _be that he's the long-lost son of Reb Brown, it is unlikely and I should stop announcing it to the world.

420. I cannot quote the Shadow Proclamation at aliens who want to destroy and/or conquer the Earth.

-It's from another universe, they won't even have heard of it, much less acknowledge it!

"They're coming," Sanchez said, folding up the paper and shoving it in a pocket.

"Who's got the tape?" Harvey asked. Nicholson reached down and slid the corner of a video tape out of his bag. "Good. Hand it over." Bulk and Skull came through the doorway, waving a video tape and yelling that they knew the identities of the Power Rangers. The three joined the crowd that gathered around the TV, Harvey sliding closer to the Rangers as they arrived. He held the tape behind his back, and waited.

Jason took the video from Bulk, and passed it back through the others, who swapped it for a different tape. Harvey, as quickly as he could, intercepted it between two of the Rangers, so they got his blank tape and he took the video with their morph, and stepped away.

Rejoining Sanchez and Nicholson, Harvey let out a massive sigh of relief, and handed the tape to Nicholson. The crowd began laughing as Nicholson zipped up his bag.

"Let's go," Harvey said.

~o^o~

402-4 from Scrappy-Fan92. 405-14 from WildImaginationGirl21. 415 from red neo ranger. 416-18 from WolfsbaneX.


	22. Chapter 22

Power Rangers, M.E.G.A.S. XLR, Legend of Zelda, S.W.A.T. Kats, Metal Gear, X-Men, Doctor Who, Star Trek, Galaxy Quest, ALF, Beetleborgs, Calvin and Hobbes, Jaws, Jabberjaw and Kenny the Shark. None of these things are mine.

~o^o~

The next set of rules appeared in the break room, tucked behind the coffee machine. The three officers apparently hadn't been the first to find it, judging by the coffee rings on the corners. Nicholson read.

"421. Merrick does not have Rogue's powers just because he also has white-streaked hair.

-No, this is not the perfect explanation for his reluctance to have a relationship with Princess Shayla.

422. Fish custard is not the new buttery toast, and I will stop trying to convert Bridge.

423. I will not try to bribe Syd to do any of the things on this list using diamonds.

-The same goes for Bridge using buttery toast.

424. I will not go save Villamax from Trakeena.

-Sure, he may well have turned good with a little time, but I can't go altering major time events on a whim!

425. I am allowed, however, to rescue those with ambiguous fates, such as Alpha 5, Rito Revolto, or Keggler.

426. If I happen to witness Leo's battle with Trakeena, I will not shout at the appropriate moment "Patented Kirk Shirt Rip!"

427. I cannot swap the Astro Megaship with the Enterprise.

-ANY Enterprise.

-Or the NSEA Protector.

428. I will not modify any Zord/Megazord/Ultrazord Sound system to the point where it is considered a lethally high powered Sonic Weapon of mass deafening destruction.

-no matter how awesome it may be, or how epic the result is

-Especially if I install a "ROCK ON" button which starts to play the most annoying heavy metal or rock music possible on full volume.

-Even if it earns the approval of all the vehicular Rangers/former Rangers up to that point.

429. I will not steal Zen-Aku's Flute-Sword and try to play "The Song of Storms."

-This is not the Ocarina of Time!

-Nor can I use the Dragon Dagger.

-Even if it works, I should be prepared for the storm of catastrophic proportions I just managed to summon.

-And if I just survive it, I must fully expect the resulting beat down from the Ranger/Org I stole the weapon from.

430. I will not ask to Dr. Katherine Manx if she had a relative in any government seat of power in her planet of origin, like City Major for example.  
-Even if the rumors are true...  
-Because I am sentimentally attached to all of my limbs and organs.

431. I will not give Dr. Katherine Manx's temporal morpher an unlimited battery and a S.W.A.T. mode for her to be "The S.W.A.T. Kat Ranger."

-No matter how awesome the results might be.

432. I will not sneak into any Ranger base/villain base/government building/private property/military complex/research facility by hiding myself in a large cardboard box whit eyeholes, because I am not Solid Snake enough to pull it off effectively.

-Neither may I use a barrel.

-Even if the cardboard box has written "Is not Solid Snake" on it.

-I will not justify it by saying "I wanted to see if they were dumb enough to not notice."

-Especially if I'm playing the "Theme of Tara" while doing it.

-and I absolutely won't rig any base speaker system to play the "Theme of Tara" every time someone named Tara comes into the Control Room/briefing room/bedroom/bathroom/motor pool/any other room.

-...but the VR simulator room is OK.

433. Mack is not a Replicator.

434. I will stop calling Casey and his tiger spirit Calvin and Hobbes.

435. Calling the Beetlezord the Beetleborg is not funny.

-Even if it made Mike laugh.

436. No, you cannot go to that strange alternate universe where we're all fictional and "get medieval on the PR crew." You know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.

437. Cestro is not my long-lost uncle/brother/father/son/nephew/cousin/in-law/roommate.

-Neither is Aurico.

-Or Tideus.

- Or Corcus.

-Nor am I related to Delphine.

-Or Cestria.

-Or any other Aquitian.

-Even if I happen to actually be an Aquitian, there is no reason for these to be lost relatives. Nothing is wrong with the censuses on Aquitar.

438. RJ is not my Jedi Master. I will stop insisting that he is.

-Even though he thinks it would be cool.

439. I cannot call Master Finn Jaws.

-Or Jabber-Jaw.

-Or Kenny the Shark.

-Or any other well-known shark. He is a Pai Zhua Master and can wipe the floor with me.

440. I cannot bring ALF to S.P.D. just to see if he would eat Kat. She would probably hurt me."

Then Harvey glanced over at the clock, and realized they were fifteen minutes late for their shift. There was a quick scramble to clean up and put the rules back where they'd been found, and the three charged off.

~o^o~

428-32 from Wing Zero 032. 433-40 from T. F. Crosby.


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I do not own Power Rangers, seaQuest, Wall-E, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends or Animal Planet. Half of these things I have never heard of before.

A/N: Could I just ask you awesome suggesters to put your new rules in PMs, so it isn't spoiled for the rest of the readers? Thanks!

~o^o~

"Seriously? Seriously? We have to go back and steal whales?" Sanchez asked shrilly. Harvey shrugged, trying not to laugh. The three were in the Time Ship; on their way to the Atlantic Ocean of the 1700's to pick up some assorted…whales. "What, is there an alien probe hanging over the Earth that only speaks whale?"

"You're a tremendous nerd, you know," Nicholson said from the corner. Slowly, Sanchez turned and fixed him with a gimlet stare.

"And loving it," she said deliberately.

"If I knew what you were referencing, I might laugh," Nicholson said, swallowing some airsickness pills dry. "Time to go."

The theme-park-ride-gone-mad trip back through time lasted only a few seconds, and afterwards all three of the cadets had lost their seats, but thankfully not their lunches. Staggering to the controls, Nicholson lowered their giant whale trap into the water, and slumped against the panel, completely winded.

There was a very long silence, broken only by the sound of the whale probe thrumming below and the waves splashing against the sides of the trap. Everyone caught their breath and got up again, but no whales appeared.

"You're sure this is going to work?" Nicholson asked Harvey.

"Absolutely. Fishing just takes time," Harvey replied.

"Oh, and how would you know that, city boy?" Sanchez said.

"Family stories," Harvey replied, "Had some whalers back in the nineteenth century. With this equipment we've got a few hours to wait, probably, and they sometimes had weeks without sighting a single whale."

"Great. What are we g—wait," Nicholson paused, and looked at Harvey expectantly. Grinning, Harvey pulled a new sheet of rules out of his pocket, unfolded it, and started reading.

"441. As cool as it would be, Billy and Cestria are not my parents. I will stop trying to convince everyone of it.

442. I cannot go back and change Billy's departure.

-We know, we know, it was lame, but he moved on, so should I!

443. I will not call Mack Mack-Daddy.

-Or Toby Mac.

-Or Big Mac.

-Or any other name with 'Mac' in it.

444. Billy is not Lucas Wolenczak's 'real' father.

445. The seaQuest is not a Zord. Nor is any of the crew Power Rangers.

446. Darwin is not the first 'animal' Power Ranger.

447. I will stop purposely making ridiculous assumptions about certain people or groups of people being Power Rangers.

-Or Villains.

-It is not funny.

448. Wall-E is not a baby Zord.

-Nor is EVE.

449. I will stop asking Mack if he has an imaginary friend named Bloo.

- Or Cheese.

-Or if he knows Mdme. Foster.

450. Deliberately trying to make Billy mad is a very bad idea.

-Especially if Jason's around.

-Or Trini.

451. I am not allowed to either double-dog or triple-dog dare Cmdr. Cruger. It is not funny.

452. If I don't want to die a slow and painful death, I will never, ever, EVER, ask Cmdr. Cruger "Would you do it for a Scooby Snack?"

453. Offering Cmdr. Cruger a Slush Puppy is not amusing.

454. Running into any Ranger Ops with fake wounds and false agony will not endear you to anyone.

-No, not even the villains. They would ask why you didn't start destroying things or show them how to get in.

455. I cannot keep the chimp versions of Bulk and Skull as pets.

-Nor can I sell them on e-Bay.

- Or Amazon.

-Or to the circus.

-Or zoo.

-Or to anyone. I will stop trying to do so!

456. Nor am I allowed to use them to start my own chimp-related show on Animal Planet.

-Or any channel. I do not own the rights to them.

457. I am prohibited from making any chimp jokes around Bulk and Skull.

-Especially pre-Turbo Bulk and Skull. It would only confuse them.

- But even more so around post-Turbo Bulk and Skull. They could probably beat me to a pulp if they wanted to (one doesn't gain a bully reputation without being able to fight), and it's likely no one would stop them. So I probably shouldn't test it.

458. I cannot start my own Zord Zoo.

-Or circus.

459. Maya is not the 'Zord Whisperer.' No one is.

460. The ability to mimic any Ranger's moves before, during and after morphing is not an endearing quality.

-Especially if you mimic them while they are performing said moves."

Then there was a tremendous splash outside, and all three officers darted to the window. They were just in time to see the top of a black whale slide out of the water. It swam underneath the ship and out of sight, and the Time Ship wobbled a little as the animal swam around in the trap.

"Great, there's one," Sanchez said, "How many do we need?"

"Three," Harvey replied. "Two females and one male, preferably." Sanchez grabbed her binoculars and began scanning the sea in every direction for more whales. She didn't find any.

"Okay, does anyone else have any ideas for what to do until the next one?" She asked, plopping back into her seat.

~o^o~

All from T.F. Crosby—not counting some addendums—who will rule this list for another two chapters.


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: I don't own anything I didn't make up. What? That's not good enough? Okay, I do not own Power Rangers, Rurouni Kenshin, "The Hockey Monkey Song," Clash of the Titans, Stargate, Mad Libs, Spaceballs, Walker Texas Ranger, or a lot of things in the real world like car brands or the Loch Ness Monster—is Nessie public domain?

As I said, all these are from T.F. Crosby—except for maybe a few addendums of my own.

~o^o~

It was late afternoon. The Time Force officers were still waiting for their whales to show up. Then, on the dashboard, a yellow light began blinking. Harvey jolted upright and stumbled over.

"More rules!" He exclaimed, and began reading.

460. I will stop making Rurouni Kenshin references around Jayden.

-Especially if they don't make any sense.

-He probably wouldn't get them anyway.

461. I am not allowed to install e-mail capabilities into the Zords.

-Nor can I ask/bribe/con/force anyone to do so for me.

-Especially not Billy.

-Because I am supposed to leave the man alone.

462. I am not allowed to dress chimp Bulk and Skull in hockey uniforms and sing "The Hockey Monkey" song.

-EVER!

- Nor can I bribe Justin to.

-Or anyone else.

463. The Phantom Ranger is not my 'Special Friend.' I will stop saying that he is.

464. Circuit is NOT the owl from 'Clash of the Titans.' Nor is he Bubo's understudy. I will stop telling everyone he is.

-Even if he thinks it's cool.

465. Circuit is not an owl-shaped walkie-talkie.

-Or cell phone.

-Or radio. He will not be used as such.

466. Nor is Circuit a "new type of morpher." I will stop strapping him to my wrist/waist, yelling "OWL RANGER POWER!", and pretending to morph into the Owl Ranger. It is not amusing.

-Even if Alex DID laugh.

467. None of my superiors are Goa'uld.

-Neither are any of the villains.

-No matter how much their eyes glow!

468. I will refrain from telling Spike stories about his dad and uncle.

-Especially if they're not true.

-I will not give him ideas.

469. Picking on/bullying Billy around Jason, or any of his friends, is a death scene waiting to happen.

470. The Command Center is NOT my 'crib.' I am not allowed to throw "Ranger Parties" there.

-Or anywhere else, for that matter.

-Especially in villainous lairs.

471. Making 'Mad Libs' out of the Ranger themes or speeches from your superiors is forbidden.

-They always end up being inappropriate, not funny.

"Hey, thar she blows!" Sanchez called from the window. There were a few tense seconds while the three watched the whale come closer, and then it was in the net.

"Yes! Now we just need one more!" Nicholson cried, darting to the monitor. "The next should be a girl, if we can manage it." Harvey went back to reading.

472. I will not make up false mission assignments to Phaedos just to see if Dulcea is still on the plateau.

473. I will not run around yelling "Use the Schwartz!" to Ranger teams.

474. I will not refer to Cmdr. Cruger as a Mog.

-Nor will I ask him if he is his own best friend.

475. I am not allowed to replace "Power" in any Ranger theme with "Texas", "New York" or "Ford."

-Nor may I suggest this to any team. They might actually try it.

476. I do not have Ford Ranger Power.

-I will not yell it out right after Rocky yells Red Ranger Power. It is no more an endearing quality than mimicking their movements.

477. Sensei Watanabe is not a Muppet. He is not related to Rizzo the Rat.

478. The Zords are not closets. I will not store my clothes, shoes, etc., in them.

479. Graffitiing the Command Center is prohibited.

-So is giving it a paint job.

-"It'll look pretty" or "It needs it" are not valid excuses for doing so.

-Neither is "But it'll give Zordon something new to watch."

480. I cannot capture Nessie/Champ/Ogo Pogo/any other lake/sea monster and send it to Aquitar as a present for the Aquitians. They do have the ability to hurt me.

"Look, a whole herd of whales!" Nicholson said from the main window. Harvey and Sanchez leaped to the controls, and began maneuvering the ship over. Nicholson kept his binoculars glued to the window, shouting out how close or far they were. With a bit of splashing and jolting, the three managed to get their final whale, and lifted the trap up into the ship.

"Year 3000, here we come!" Sanchez said, as the time hole opened up in front of them.

~o^o~


	25. Chapter 25

~o^o~

"Things have been pretty quiet around here," Nicholson said. He and the other two officers were in Harvey's quarters, doing nothing in particular.

"Well, dear old Leeroy Jenkins is in Sickbay," Harvey replied, tipping his chair back. "And we're the only other real troublemakers."

"Are you suggesting we try something?" Sanchez asked. Harvey shrugged.

"I can't think of anything," he said. An evil grin spread across Sanchez's face. Just then, an email arrived, and Nicholson clicked on it.

"Rules!" He cried.

"Print them and follow me," Sanchez said, hopping off Harvey's bed.

~o^o~

481. Master Guin is not one of the Penguins of Madagascar.

-Or a Pittsburgh Penguin.

-Or a real penguin.

-She was not in "Surf's Up" or "Happy Feet." Stop asking.

-Better yet, stop talking.

482. "Go Go Gummy Rangers!" is NOT the theme for a new Ranger team! Knock it off!

-This also goes for "Go Go Gadget Rangers!"

483. Annoying the snot out of the villains is not a 'special' Ranger power.

484. Master Rilla's last name is NOT Gorilla.

-Nor is his first name Magilla.

485. I am forbidden from painting Rocky's Apezord purple so I can call it "Grape Ape."

486. Racing any of the Zords is prohibited.

-So is having "Zord Battles" with the animal Zords.

-There is no "Zord Battle Commission."

487. No, I cannot give all the Zords names and paint those names on them.

488. Each Ranger team does not need their own mascot.

489. Q-tips are not pieces of advice on how to defeat the Q-Rex. Stop telling Ransik this.

-And every other villain.

-Especially the gullible ones.

490. I am not allowed to petition the mayor of Angel Grove to name streets after their Ranger team just so I can live on Billy Cranston Ave.

-Or Zack Taylor Rd.

-Or whatever.

491. The Zords do not have slots for quarters to make them work. They are not rides.

492. Cmdr. Fowler is not "Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs."

493. Rita Repulsa is not Mary Poppins' evil twin.

494. I cannot create a "Power Rangers: The Musical."

-Even if there are Rangers who want to do it.

-Especially if there are Rangers who want to do it.

495. Stop calling the Phantom Ranger the Phantom Menace.

496. I cannot go to Divatox and invoke the "right of parlay."

497. I will not replace the 'm' in Moogers with a 'b'.

-Even if "Jayden snickered that one time."

498. I will not deliberately do or say anything stupid or ridiculous just so I can get on "the list."

499. I cannot build an amusement park out of the old Zords and call it Zord World.

-Or anything else.

500. "Because I can" has never been, is not now, nor will it ever be, a valid excuse doing anything stupid."

~o^o~

Captain Logan strode into the sickbay, with the sort of expression that reminded people of their pressing business in another room. Beside the two occupied beds, Sanchez and Harvey tried to look as innocent as possible. Nicholson woke up just as Captain Logan stopped at the foot of the bed. Leeroy Jenkins watched as well as he could, being nearly mummified in bandages.

"What happened?" Nicholson moaned, and looked down at the metallic cast blinking on his left leg. Then he saw his commander's face, and shrank back against the sheets.

"Let me see if I can jog your memory. Pirate costumes, Zord bay, grappling hooks—"

"Oh yeah, that," Nicholson said, wincing. "That was Sanchez's idea."

"Thanks a lot!" Sanchez cried. "You wouldn't have slipped if you hadn't been so busy correcting Harvey's posture!"

"Hey, you were the ones who wanted to try rock climbing, is it my fault that I've never done it before?" Harvey broke in. Before the three could get into a real fight, Captain Logan coughed, and they stopped.

"It doesn't matter whose idea it was. You all participated, and Nicholson was just lucky that he hadn't gotten higher than the Zord's knee when he fell. Though I am curious—what exactly prompted the three of you to attempt to climb up the Transwarp Megazord, in pirate garb?"

"…We were bored," Sanchez said with a shrug.

"Normally, I'd have you put on Zord cleaning detail for a week, but frankly I don't trust you around them," Captain Logan said. "You will take over cleaning duties for everyone else on the base, which you will have plenty of time for because you're all suspended for a month." And he turned to leave.

"Sir?" It was Leeroy Jenkins. Captain Logan gave him a look. "Does this include all the cleaning jobs you gave me?"

"No," Logan said, and walked out. Leeroy sighed.

"You guys won't have to worry about the basements," he said. "Or the bathrooms. I wish I'd been up—you guys come up with such cool ideas! While you're sober!"

"…Thanks?" Harvey replied.

~o^o~

All from, guess who, T.F. Crosby.

A/N: Judging by previous reviews, you people like it when the OCs do ridiculous and incredibly immature things. So…yeah.

I do not own: Razor Sharpe, Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Superhuman Samurai Syber Squad, Ghostbusters, Doctor Who, or The Spoony One's Let's Play series. Oh, and Power Rangers.

Five hundred! I...did not expect to get this far. Thank you guys for all your suggestions!


	26. Chapter 26

I do not own: Razor Sharpe, Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Superhuman Samurai Syber Squad, Ghostbusters, Doctor Who, or The Spoony One's Let's Play series. Oh, and Power Rangers.

Five hundred! I...did not expect to get this far. Thank you guys for all your suggestions!

~o^o~

Sanchez, Nicholson and Harvey were cleaning out the simulator. All those indentations in the walls looked neat, but they were dirt traps. Nicholson's leg had mended, but none of the three had recovered even a shred of their dignity. It had not been a fun three days.

As Nicholson put away the mops, he found three sheets of paper tacked to the inside of the door. The second and third were the next segments of the list. The first was a petition with at least forty signatures for them to not try anything on the list. That brightened them up a little. By the end, they were all grinning, but still subdued.

~o^o~

501. Sensei Watanabe is not Ninja Storm's mascot.

-Nor is Fire Heart Mystic Force's mascot.

-Or Phineas.

-Nor is Circuit Time Force's Mascot.

-No Mascots. Just…No.

502. And no, Phineas can never be my team's mascot, if I ever manage to be on one.

-Even if he thinks it's a great idea.

503. If I find my life valuable, I will not call Cmdr. Fowler a "pretty birdie."

-Or a birdbrain.

-Not even if he isn't present, because naturally he'll be standing right behind me as I speak.

504. I will not paint any Blue Ranger's Zord to look like Megas, since no one even knows that show anyway.

505. I will not refer to Kira as 'Kiva', or ask her why her hair isn't red anymore.

-The same goes for Jen.

506. The Wild Force Rangers are not the Care Bear Rangers.

507. I cannot turn Mack into Inspector Gadget.

508. I am not allowed to mention the movie "Razor Sharpe" around Zordon.

509. Zordon has never said "Our destiny is not by chance, it's by choice."

-Nor has Sensei Watanabe.

-No matter how much it would make sense for him to do so.

510. I am not allowed to use the Dragon Dagger to play "Saria's Song."

511. I am not allowed to say "Let's Samuraize, guys!" around the Samurai Rangers.

512. I am not to accuse anyone on Terra Venture of being "uncaring jerks" for not helping Gallifrey during the meteor field.*

513. Or the Time War.

514. I am not allowed to declare "Mass hysteria!" if I see Commander Cruger and Kat Manx in the same room.

515. I am not allowed to say "Zordon Didn't Tap" in front of Tommy.

516. If an SPD Ranger is in SWAT mode, I am not allowed to go up to them and say that they're in my way.

-Or throw flashbangs at them.

517. Yes, Tommy's eyes flashed while he was the Evil Green Ranger. No, this does NOT make him a  
Goa'uld.

-or a Tok'ra.

-This also goes for Kat.

518. I will not suggest any Ranger substitute their weapon for a bat'leth.

-And no, Zen-Aku is not already wielding one.

-or a phaser.

-actually, no more Star Trek gags. Period.

519. Any attempt to start up a 'Power Rangers pick-up lines' list will be rebuffed.

-Firmly.

-With pointy objects.

520. I will not ask Tommy to teach me his 'trip vision'.

~o^o~

* The Lost Galaxy episode "Green Courage" mentioned a planet with the coordinates of Gallifrey being hit by a meteor field. Megafighter3, you are officially made of nerd awesome.

501-3 is the end of T.F. Crosby's rules, for now! 504-6 from PinkRangerV. 507-16 from Megafighter3. 517-20 from F-35 Phoenix.


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: Power Rangers, Doctor Who, Danny Phantom, Super Sentai, Percy Jackson, Charlie's Angels, Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys, Chuck Norris, DC Comics, Marvel Comics, and the Terminator franchise all belong to other people. Sherlock Holmes is public domain, though!

~o^o~

Harvey crept through Time Force HQ, trying to be as invisible as possible. Believe it or not, he was actually under orders this time. He finally found the Zord Bay, and slid into an alcove behind the Trans Warp Megazord. There, he crouched down and waited.

In a few minutes, Harvey could hear himself, Sanchez and Nicholson coming, on their way to do their incredibly stupid Zord climb. He waited until he heard the doors close, and then stepped out. The trio froze, Nicholson dropping the coil of rope he'd been carrying.

"What…" the other Harvey began.

"Okay, first, I'm testing out a new piece of time technology," Harvey told his befuddled, earlier self, raising his wrist to show the silvery morpher-like device strapped to it. "It's called a Warp Manipulator, and it works for short-term time travel. I'm from about a week in the future, and I'm here to talk you out of what you're about to do." The three exchanged glances, and it didn't look as if they were buying it.

"Please, guys, I already know what Captain Logan will do when he finds out," Harvey pleaded.

"How do we know you're not a mutant impersonating me?" The earlier Harvey asked.

"Why?" Harvey countered.

"Good point. Let's not, guys." Shrugging, Nicholson picked up the rope and began back to the closet he'd taken it from, and both guys left. Sanchez was slower, it having been her idea.

"Hey, here," the time-traveling Harvey said, passing her a sheet of paper. "I haven't read it yet." Her eyes lit up, and she followed the guys out. Grinning, Harvey pushed a button on the Warp Manipulator, and was back in his own time with a flash.

In the lab, as the scientists and Nicholson got busy reading and tracking the alterations to the timeline, Sanchez stepped up to Harvey, pulled a folded sheet of paper out of her pocket, and handed it to him.

"I haven't read it yet, either" she said. Smiling, Harvey took the paper and read aloud.

"521. No, Dillon is not a cyborg werewolf.

-And Maya is not a Lupine Wavelength Haemovariform.

522. I will not criticize any theme song of any Ranger team.

- Especially if it was terrible, *coughOperationOverdrivecough.*

-The Rangers have not even heard it, they will be thoroughly confused.

523. I will not try to get Udonna to say "Make my Rangers grow!" before the Mystic Rangers become their Zords.

524. I will not try to get Rangers to Live Action Role Play with my friends and me.

- Because they would mop the floor with us.

525. I will not try any car stunt with a vehicle-based Zord.

526. No, the Phantom Ranger is not Danny Phantom. Stop saying he is!

527. I will not tell any villain "I liked you better in Sentai."

528. I will not attempt to make Rangers out of non-sentient species.

529. I am not allowed to use Alpha 5 or 6 as an amp for my guitar.

- Or Circuit.

- Or any other Ranger computer/robot/various equipment.

530. I will not try to make Kira a screamo singer.

- And, no, it's not a good idea.

531. I am not allowed to run into a Ranger battle yelling" Lightning bolt, lightning bolt, lightning bolt!"

532. I will not trace Sky's genealogy to see if he is Wes's son.

533. I will not declare ANY Ranger a demigod.

534. Cmdr. Cruger is NOT a hellhound.

535. It is not a stupid idea to put a cat and a dog on the same team.

536. I will not hire Sherlock Holmes/Charlie's Angels/Nancy Drew/the Hardy Boys to find out the identities of the Rangers.

537. I will not, under any circumstances, pit any original Ranger against Chuck Norris/Batman/Spiderman/Superman/the Terminator.

538. I will not use any of the monsters' nicknames, including, but not limited to: "power pukes," "power punks," "rainbow Rangers," and so on.

539. I will not play video games on the Viewing Globe.

-Or any other important Ranger equipment.

540. Zordon does not need a tan."

"Okay, grand total of changes to the timeline are: I never broke my arm, no scratched Trans Warp Megazord, no reprimand, no cleaning duty, and instead we went on another battle-recording mission," Nicholson read out. "Downsides: all the places we cleaned are now dirty. We can all remember the original timeline because we're time travelers ourselves. Okay, then!"

~o^o~

521 from Pink Wolf Princess. 522-30 from WolfsbaneX. 536-40 from alpha of denali wolf pack.

A/N: I mean, if you _have_ time traveling abilities, and it will only makes things better, then why not use it?


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: I do not own Power Rangers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Scooby-Doo, Up, Doctor Who, Sonic the Hedgehog, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure and the meme it spawned, or the Eye of Argon.

~o^o~

The next segment of the rules arrived as all of the new Time Force officers were trying to complete a dare—namely, to read through the Eye of Argon aloud. They were making good time, though it was hard to hear anything over the loud laughter. It wasn't until chapter three, when Nicholson collapsed next to the door, that they even noticed the new Rules. Shaking, Nicholson pulled the data disc out from under the door, and held it up so the others could see.

"Break," Harvey gasped, taking the disc and putting it in the computer.

"Some break," Sanchez said, and hiccupped. After a minute of panting, Harvey was able to read the new Rules.

"541. I will not give any evildoers advice.

-Nor may I shove them out of the way with a "Here, let me show you how it's done."

-Even though I think I can do better.

-_Especially _if I can do better.

542. I will not give Buffy a morpher.

-Nor start the Scooby Gang Rangers.

-This also goes for every Companion of the Doctor ever, but especially River Song.

543. Speaking of which, Cmdr. Cruger is not Scooby-Doo even though is a talking dog.

-I will not even suggest that he is Scrappy-Doo.

-And he _really_ isn't Dug.

544. I will not wire any Ranger's phone to constantly play their theme song.

545. Yes, there are many ambiguous romantic relationships among the Power Rangers. No, the best way to settle this is not through a poll.

-Not even if I'm polling their teammates.

546. I can't get Flynn or any other time manipulating ranger to yell out "Za Warudo" when they freeze time.

-I also can't get any teleporter to say "Chaos Control."

547. Summer's energy blast is not a yellow hadoken.

548. I cannot give the Samurai Rangers a better morph call than "Go Go Samurai!"

-Even if there are a million more I can think up off the top of my head.

549. I can't go back and shoot any villain in the face before they reach their full strength.

-It probably wouldn't work anyway.

550. I will not call the Samurai rangers expies of previous Rangers.

-Especially Jayden.

-As they are samurai and katanas hurt.

551. The Samurai Rangers are not at war with the Ninja Storm Rangers.

-Saying so gives both Ranger teams permission to slap me silly.

552. I will not give Andros a mask "to go with the cape so you can still see while wearing it."

-Nor will I address him as Liz Ten.

553. Alpha 5/6/7 is not Alpha from Up, despite the similar vocal pitches.

554. I will not express disappointment to Time Force that their ship isn't bigger on the inside.

555. No, the Blue Fairy will not turn Mack into a real boy.

556. I will not attempt to cut off pre-Forever Red Tommy's hair.

-Nor Turbo Adam's.

557. I cannot steal Dr. K's underwear gun.

558. Onyx—and especially the Old West bar on it—is forbidden to me.

-Seriously, the owner is getting tired of replacing all the furniture!

559. I cannot install chandeliers wherever dropping one on someone might give me an advantage in battle.

560. Despite his appearance and plans to return Earth to its ancient, reptile-dominated state, Mesogog is not a Silurian."

"Okay, awesome," Julia from across the hall said, "Whose turn was it?"

"Mine," Leeroy said, taking the battered Eye of Argon and clearing his throat. "Consciousness returned to Grignr in stygmatic pools as his mind gradually cleared of the cobwebs cluttering its inner recesses, yet the stygian cloud of charcoal ebony remained. An incompatible shield of b-bl-black..."

~o^o~

541-44 from alpha of denali wolf pack. 545 inspired by tjcassieever. 546-51 from Jio Uzumaki. Yes, yes I have been watching a lot of Doctor Who recently. How did you ever guess?


	29. Chapter 29

~o^o~

Disclaimer: I don't own Power Rangers, the A-Team, DC Comics, Family Affair, Jeeves, the Darwin Awards, Doctor Who, Discworld, No Ordinary Family, the Incredibles, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Jimmy Neutron, a collection of real-world scientists,' The Vampire Club,' 'Land of the Dead,' 'Otherworld,' Silent Hill, or MegaDeath.

~o^o~

It was midnight in the Time Force laboratory—and everywhere else in Millennium City, naturally. Nobody was there, and all of the machinery had been turned off. Then, in the corner, a little yellow light blinked. With a whir, a beam of light shot out of it, and a man stepped out. He looked like Nicholson, but had a goatee.

"Experiment successful," he said into a wrist communicator. "Do you have my counterpart?"

"We do," Harvey's voice came through the communicator. "Your quarters are in the same place. Report back here tomorrow night on the defenses of Millennium City." Nodding, evil Nicholson crept out of the lab. Then he paused, and took a slip of paper off a counter nearby. Opening it up, he raised his eyebrows. In his own universe, the list was known as "Things I am Encouraged to do in Power Rangers." He took it away, still reading.

561. I may not kidnap Sophie, or anyone else in SPD, and explain to them that a cyborg is technically a combination of organic and metal parts, while an android is a human-looking robot, and thus Sophie falls under the latter, because it simply is not worth being arrested and imprisoned in a data card.

-And there is no way I'll get out of being imprisoned in a data card, so I shall control myself.

562. No, Nick having purple eyes during his possession by Koragg does not mean he's a Mary Sue, so I shall not try to kill him.

563. Billy has requested that we stop playing the A-Team theme while he works, as it is distracting.

-All of the other techies second this request.

564. Spencer's name is just that, Spencer. Not Alfred.

-No, not Mr. French either.

-He might be flattered to be called Jeeves, but I should still refrain.

-I have no reason to mix him up with Philips or Andrews, to whom this rule also applies.

565. I cannot mix-and-match the parts of any of the following: Alpha 5/Alpha 6/Alpha 7/Mack/RIC/Sophie/the Robot Turbo Rangers.

-Specifically, I will never again swap the heads of Mack and Sophie unless I want to end up in the 2007 _and_ 2025 Darwin Awards.

-Why both? Because it's so stupid it counts twice, and I'd technically die in two separate timelines.

566. I cannot do anything that would cause cracks in the skin of the universe.

-Not even if I think Billy could fix them.

-Or in the hopes of bringing the Doctor through them.

567. I can't erase any of the Christmas specials from history.

-Or even from peoples' memories.

-No matter how abysmal they were.

568. I will stop trying to get Bridge hooked on jelly babies instead of buttery toast.

569. Despite the various degrees of awesome the action would attain, I cannot redo the Eleventh Doctor's "Basically, run" speech so it applies to the Power Rangers, for the benefit of a new villain.

-This also goes for the Pandorica speech.

-And any of the Doctor's other epic speeches.

-Or any epic speeches, really.

570. While it is a good way to write his dialogue, caps lock is not "Official Zordon talk."

-Because Zordon is not Discworld's Death.

-Really.

-But I am allowed to read Caps lock of Rage messages while imitating Zordon, because it defuses the tension.

-But only if I'm nowhere near Zordon or anyone who might take offense; and by 'nowhere near' I mean in a different decade, possibly a different country.

571. I will not goad Ronny and Conner to race each other/the Flash/Stephanie Powell/Dashiell Parr/any cheetah.

572. If I happen to be involved in rescuing a Ranger, I will not play guess who with him/her.

-This also goes for my fellow rescuers.

573. Shane, Dustin and Tori are not benders, and Sensei is not the Avatar.

-Nor will I inquire what happened to fire training at the Wind Ninja Academy.

-It is technically not an element, being a chemical reaction, and it's either that or the sheer amount of Mary Sue Fire Ninjas that exist that caused the exclusion.

574. I will not ask why it's called the Wind Ninja Academy.

575. I will not "accidentally" address any smart person as Einstein/Jimmy Neutron/J.J. Powell/Sir Isaac Newton/Rene Descartes/anyone else, because no matter how flattered they are, it will not take long to grow irritating.

576. I will not play 'The Vampire Club' by Voltaire during the attack of DJ Fly.

-nor will I play 'The Land of the Dead' to the creatures in the Underworld.

577. I will not chase Flit with a flyswatter.

-no matter how annoying he is.

578. Yes, Tommy is a Native American. No, this does not make him a shaman. I will stop asking him if he is.

579. Blasting 'Otherworld' to Zedd while has the Rangers trapped is a bad idea.

-Nor is Zedd's Otherworld the Otherworld of Silent Hill.

580. MegaDeath is _not _'easy listening' in a crisis!

~o^o~

571- 75 from alpha of denali wolf pack. 576-80 from F-35 Phoenix.

A/N: Yes, it's likely I'll do the mirror universe rules soon. Ye be warned.


	30. Chapter 30

Disclaimer: I do not own Power Rangers, Doctor Who, Magic: The Gathering, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Pokémon, Star Trek, Wind in the Willows, Star Wars' Expanded Universe, Highlander, Harry Potter just to be safe, Wizards of Waverly Place and other similar shows by implication, Terminator, 2012, or Super Sentai.

A/N: Since this is taking place in the mirror universe, where the heroes are the bad guys and the villains are good, the Rules are all reversed, because this Time Force encourages causing canon characters trouble.

~o^o~

Nicholson's first waking thought was that the room stank. His second was that his bed felt like a rock. He opened his eyes, and glanced around. White walls, greenish fluorescent lights, horizontally barred door—wait, what?

Sitting up, Nicholson realized that he was in a holding cell. What's more, one of his feet was manacled by a chain to the wall. He started digging through his recent memories, getting more and more panicked as he did. Had he done anything that would get him arrested? He couldn't remember anything—but if it had involved alcohol, then he probably wouldn't.

Then, Nicholson heard a 'Psst.' He got up, getting as near the door as the chain would allow, and looked through the bars. It was the occupant of the other cell making the noise, a pink-haired woman. Nicholson recognized her immediately.

"Nadira?" He asked incredulously. She put a finger to her lips.

"You'll bring the guards," she hissed. Now that Nicholson was paying attention, he noticed that Nadira looked different. She moved more fluidly and efficiently, like a soldier, and she was more muscular as well.

"What's going on?" Nicholson whispered.

"I'm not sure," Nadira replied, "But the guard said you're from a mirror universe. Time Force is probably trying to conquer it." Then she stopped, as two guards walked down the hall. Nicholson noticed that their Time Force insignias were three swords stabbing through a planet, instead of the normal one. Also, one was carrying a sheet of paper.

"It's my turn," his fellow said, pulling the sheet out of his hands. She ran down the end of the hall, and threw up a force field before her fellow officer could catch her. Grinning, she began to read.

"581. Tommy is a new regeneration of the Doctor, and I will keep asking where he keeps the TARDIS until he tells me.

-This goes for every single Power Ranger ever.

582. Ethan already has a card game addiction, so introducing him to Magic: the Gathering, Yu-Gi-Oh, or Pokémon is definitely a good idea.

583. I will reconfigure the monster making machine in Finster's lab to dress the putties in red shirts.

584. I may sing/hum/whistle any version of "When the Toad Came Home" during any of Adam's returns to active Ranger duty.

-And not just because he's a frog, not a toad.

585. Yes, the Wind in the Willows is a classic book. Therefore, Wind in the Willows-themed Rangers is a classic idea.

-Even if I can get people who want to be Water Rat/Mole/Toad/Badger Rangers of their own free will.

586. I'll try to teach Divatox how to talk like a pirate.

-Or can I get Brownbeard or Rosie the Bold to teach her.

-Convincing her that this will make the Rangers afraid of her is both cruel and hilarious, and her rage makes it all worthwhile.

587. Because of what happened in Series Five of Doctor Who, I will create the Mighty Morphin Dalek Rangers.

588. Tenaya 7/15 has a "handy spare hand."

-It isn't a spare anyway, it's just detachable.

589. Circuit Astronema will be addressed as Astronema or "Your Highness" (but only when Ecliptor is within hearing distance). Despite the evil upbringing, switch to good and bright red hair, she is not Mara Jade, and will be confused and/or irritated if you call her that, so please keep it up.

590. If I happen to witness Zhane re-energizing his morpher with an electrical storm, I shall immediately shout "THE QUICKENING!" because he might lose his balance.

-This also goes for when the Galaxy Rangers received or retook their powers.

591. I will make up statistics for "the number of people splinched every year in simple teleportation accidents" while around any Ranger who can teleport.

-Especially if they've just gotten the power/tools required.

592. If I happen to both possess a morpher and be in Angel Grove during Astronema's attack, I will declare myself a Ranger and morph to prove it.

593. I am obligated to provide any contemporary tween-aimed TV show characters with Ranger powers.

-Well, maybe not Wizards of Waverly Place, but no one else would even know what to do with the powers!

-Actually, strike that; I am qualified to give _anyone_ Ranger powers, because I am very mischievous and probably insane, and the fact that I think any person worthy of becoming a Power Ranger makes them suspect by default.

594. Speaking of which, the Russo family are obviously long-lost cousins of Nick's.

595. I will not "accidentally" call Conner Jason or Rocky, Kira Kimberly, or Ethan Billy or Zack. I will do it intentionally.

-Calling Trent Tommy would only confuse everyone.

596. I can bring RJ to the Giant Pizza Incident.

597. I will lock all of the comedy relief characters in one room.

-Starting a betting pool on who will come out alive makes it even better.

-I should be warned that they are smarter than they look, and will probably humiliate me.

598. I will implant memories of the Year That Never Was/The Crucible/when the Pandorica opened/Judgment Day/2012/any other catastrophic events from any other continuum into the Rangers' minds.

-Especially RPM. If they already had one apocalypse, what's another going to do to them?

599. RJ was nowhere near first Purple Ranger, as all of the fanfics prove. I will keep telling him until he listens.

-The fanfic universe is canon. All of it.

600. I will keep trying to arrange a Final Battle.

-Actually, we know_ exactly_ how awesome it would be if performed successfully: every sun in the relevant galaxy would supernova from the waves of sheer awesomeness exploding from the battle site. See why we need this?

-The recent Sentai battle means I have every excuse to do so."

At that point, the male guard managed to hack into a wall computer, and the force field dropped. His companion bolted, with him in hot pursuit. As their footsteps faded, Nicholson looked back to Nadira.

"Now what?" He asked. Nadira held up a hand, and counted down from five in a low voice. At "One," the far wall exploded outwards. Nicholson ducked, and pieces of debris bounced off the door. The lights flickered and went out, and concrete dust filled the air. Then a tall man stepped through the gap, and looked around. Robots flowed in after him, and began shooting the locks off the doors.

Nicholson gaped like an idiot at the Cyclobots as they shot the shackle off his foot. Some part of his mind realized that of course, if the good guys and bad guys were reversed, then Ransik was a good guy, but the rest was too weirded out to register. Two of the robots pulled Nicholson to his feet, and as alarms began to blare, he decided that it would be a good time to run.

~o^o~

581-3 from F-35 Phoenix.


	31. Chapter 31

I do not own Power Rangers, any of the other stories on this site, My Little Pony, M.E.G.A.S. XLR, Pound Puppies, X-Men, Magic 8 Balls, Star Wars, Family Matters, the Mighty Moshin' Emo Rangers or Shrek.

~o^o~

Nicholson's evil mirror universe counterpart was woken by Harvey rolling him out of bed. Landing in a crouch, Nicholson had already whipped a gun out and quickly leveled it at Harvey.

"Uh, Nicholson?" Harvey said uncertainly. Nicholson put the gun away and stood up.

"Sorry. Don't surprise me like that!" He said, "I thought you were a mutant." Harvey rolled his eyes.

"Nicholson, all the evil mutants have been arrested," he said, "Why would they go after you?" Evil Nicholson shrugged and stood up.

"Be prepared, I always say. So, what'd you come to wake me up for?" Harvey looked a little surprised.

"Our assignment," Harvey said, "You've slept in."

"Assignment?" Evil Nicholson asked. Harvey frowned and looked at Nicholson more carefully.

"Are you feeling all right? You were ridiculously excited when we got it."

"Oh, right, yeah, I'm just…not really awake yet." Harvey went out the door, giving Evil Nicholson one more scrutinizing look.

~o^o~

"We've got another wait, and a set of rules," Sanchez said. The Time Force officers were sitting in Angel Grove Park.

"So, we're trying to get into Rita's Dimension?" Nicholson asked. Harvey reached over and felt his forehead.

"Are you sure you feel okay? Time Force wants access to all the little dimensions the various villains had used. I thought this was your favorite team, and you knew all the monsters they'd fought or something." Evil Nicholson shrugged.

"So, how long until Kim gets here with her dimensional portal?" He asked. Sanchez and Harvey exchanged baffled glances.

"Well, she's going to be here, but it's Billy's device," Harvey said.

"Billy? That airhead?" Nicholson laughed. As he looked at the expressions on his companions' faces, he realized that this universe was more than just good-instead-of-evil. "Maybe I am coming down with something," Nicholson muttered, unfolded the paper. Harvey read.

"601. I will not ask the Mighty Morphin Rangers why Tiny!Rita kept turning into an action figure, because they will only be confused.

-No, this does not canonize the Not Just Action Figures fic!

602. Cruger and Isinia are not Pound Puppies—wait, why do you even need to be told this?

603. Ransik and Nadira are not part of the Brotherhood of Mutants.

-Nor are they X-Men.

604. I cannot inquire after the mothers of Rita and Rito/Trakeena/Nadira.

-This also goes for Prince Olympius's father, and both of Marah and Kapri/Elgar's parents.

605. I will not build a ridiculously powerful, sentient zord with a processing power of 56Kb of memory, power consumption issues and the ability to drain the energy from nearby power sources.

- Especially if I program "Everything is the enemy" into it.

- Or "I must defend and destroy."

- And I will not use the excuse of lack of computer materials to justify the messed up zord

606. I will not replace Billy's Unicorn Thunderzord with a Pony Unicorn-like Zord.

-no matter if I'm asked/bribed/begged/threatened by any of his fellow Rangers.

-Billy will take it as volunteering to be his guinea pig for whatever new machine he's invented.

607. Just because a Ranger has an accent does not mean I should imitate them to "Speak their language."

608. I WILL NOT throw garlic at Carlos or Vida.

-Or convince Chip to do so.

-Or Bulk and Skull.

609. It is not appropriate to debate which villain is more awesome.

-Same goes for Evil Rangers.

-Or any Rangers, really.

610. I will not show Clare a Magic 8 Ball. It will only confuse her.

611. I will not offer Sensei Watanabe guinea pig food.

-It's really not funny and Cam will totally beat the stuffing out of me.

-Multiple times.

612. I will stop asking Zordon how to use "the Force".

-Or what Yoda is like.

613. Steve Urkel is not allowed to fix/tweak/build anything for any Ranger team, as there is a good chance that anything he touches will break.

614. I will not organize a Ranger, mentor, and villain's choir.

- No matter how laughable it would be to see Theo and Mesogog do a duet.

615. No, the Mighty Moshin' Emo Rangers are not Power Rangers! They are a parody! Stop saying they are!

616. I will not mention headbanging to Zordon.

617. I will not supply false information to any villain to get them to kidnap Killswitch Engage.

618. I will not try to convince the Turbo Team to adjust Justin's Turbo suit so that it doesn't get taller no matter how much anyone begs me, as it actually made sense in helping to hide his identity.

619. Despite their names, Sky cannot fly and Bridge doesn't play bridge. Stop insisting it's so!

620. I will not compare Zordon to the Magic Mirror in Shrek."

"Okay, they're coming," Sanchez said. Evil Nicholson looked with interest at this universe's first Power Rangers. Sure enough, Billy wore the glasses here. Nicholson glanced over at his companions, and decided to have his opposite interrogated—they couldn't both be in the same universe at once, and he really needed to know what this guy was like. Claiming sickness wouldn't work once they actually took him to Sickbay.

~o^o~

605-6 from Wing Zero 032. 607-12 from Falloutboy99. 613 from webdoor. 614-17 and 619-20 from WolfsbaneX. 618 from Ghostwriter.

A/N: Like in The Wild Wipeout, I'm assuming the Rangers' personalities are opposite as well.


	32. Chapter 32

Disclaimer: Power Rangers, Tarzan, Medabots, Star Wars, 'Thunderstruck,' 'The Thunder Rolls,' Bonanza, the Lone Ranger, Gunsmoke, 'Thriller,' the Black Swan, Beyond Thunderdome. None of these things are mine.

~o^o~

Nicholson sat in Ransik's lair, still completely weirded out by what was going on. Turned out this version of Frax was silver, and his voice lacked that manic edge. He was busily working with some complex-looking machinery in the corner. Ransik himself was much less…spiky, and his mutant disease was gone.

"Do you remember how you got into this universe?" Ransik asked. Nicholson frowned in thought.

"No…yes," he said, "I was woken up by this weird crackling noise, and for just a second, I saw myself. Well, not quite myself. I guess it was my evil twin. Then I was in this lab, and they hit me with a knockout spray." Ransik nodded.

"Frax, is it done yet?" Nadira asked.

"Almost," the robot replied.

"Need a hand?" Nadira asked, and didn't wait for the robot to reply before going over. After a few tweaks, they stepped back, and Frax hit a button.

"What are you doing?" Nicholson asked, as the machine whirred to life. Nadira put a few sheets of paper on the floor, and aimed the device's lens at them.

"Trying to open a portal to your universe," Ransik said. "This is a test." There was a flash and a crack, and when Nicholson's vision had cleared, Nadira was holding the papers.

"It worked," she said. "We've got your universe's Rules." She and Frax proceeded to technobabble at each other. Nicholson looked to Ransik.

"Now what?" He asked.

"I've got an attack to plan. You've got a bit of a wait, I'm afraid," Ransik said with a shrug. Nicholson retrieved the Rules and sat down on the other side of the room.

"I've learned how to handle long waits," he said with a wry smile, and smoothed out the paper.

621. I will not resurrect Diabolico in hopes of fully converting him.

-He only wanted revenge against Queen Bansheera, and he's smarter than I am; this is a Bad Idea.

622. I will not ask Cole if he knows Tarzan.

-Or if he IS Tarzan—when was the last time you saw him tree-surfing?

-I won't even _think _of referencing the original Tarzan, despite him having a lion sidekick for a little while.

623. No, Alpha is not a Medabot! Quit putting him in harm's way!

624. Andros is not a Sith. So, the guy uses the Force—no he doesn't, stop saying that—wears a hooded cloak, broods and has attachment issues. Who doesn't?

-That was a rhetorical question. You don't need to start listing off the people without those issues.

625. I will not reprogram any morpher to give its Ranger one of those idiotic muscled Power Ranger kid costumes.

-Especially not if it's their first morph.

626. I cannot ask the Ninja Rangers how, in five years, we went from "Evil space aliens conquer the universe and the Power Rangers publicly reveal their identities and destroy them" to "Power Rangers are an urban legend."

-Even though they're secretly training to become ninjas, probably just saw their school get sucked up into a giant freak tornado, and should really be less incredulous at this point.

627. No, Sensei Watanabe's "make evil energy-good energy collision turn me into a rodent" is not a good solution to_ any_ villain attack.

-Especially if that attack originally resulted in the destruction of a Power Ranger, i.e. Kendrix destroying the Savage Sword.

628. I will not walk around with any Ranger team wearing a t-shirt that says, "I'm with the Power Rangers."

629. I will not play Thunderstruck by AC/DC when the Bradley twins walk in.

-Or The Thunder Rolls by Garth Brooks.

630. I will not ask the Wild West Rangers if they know the Cartwrights.

-Or Sheriff Matt Dillon.

-Or the Lone Ranger.

631. I cannot and will not greet Commander Cruger with "What's up, dog?"

632. I cannot shout "Go go Power Rangers!" as loud as I can around the Rangers.

-Because they won't get it.

633. I will not try to explain to Ziggy why there is always an explosion behind him.

-Especially if I have no idea what I'm talking about.

634. I am not allowed to use the Green Ranger Theme Song for any Green Ranger other than Tommy.

-Not even if I hum it.

635. I am not allowed to rename Conner's twin—Eric—Murphy.

636. I am not allowed to dye Tommy's hair orange while he's sleeping, with the excuse that he's going to be the Orange Ranger next.

-Same thing with any of his actual colors, pink, purple, grey (he has enough of that already from the rest of this list), gold, silver, and any other obscure color, like aqua.

637. Yes, dancing has been a helpful tool to the Rangers. No, organizing one giant Thriller dance is not going to help them finally defeat the bad guys.

-This goes for any big musical number.

638. I will not ask Kat about "those swan hallucinations."

639. Going by all the people I have polled, I am the only person in the world unable to get beyond Thunderdome, so I will stop asking.

640. If I happen to write a crossover—or cause a crossover with the help of Time Force—I will not use two different timelines unless I can explain it plausibly.

-"Time Force did it" is not a plausible explanation, because there is no way I could logically convince them to cause such an event.

-Furthermore, I won't have the time traveler magically jump from place to place. I shall instead use my brain and come up with a good reason for the person to be where I want them.

~o^o~

622-23 and 628-34 from WolfsbaneX. 624 from ShadowDancerLei. 635-36 from MidnightMoonWarrior. 640 from Ghostwriter.


	33. Chapter 33

Disclaimer: I don't own Power Rangers, Star Trek: The Final Frontier—thank goodness!—'The Happy Wanderer,' Excelsior, the Princess Bride, the Muppets, Chuck Norris, Wheel of Fortune, Jeopardy, Deal or No Deal?, the Music Man, or Supernatural.

A/N: I'm going for 1000 rules before I stop, and I've got 764. PM-ed suggestions are preferred, but I'm not going to say no unless the joke is risque or bathroom humor.

~o^o~

Nicholson's evil counterpart was sitting in his quarters, typing up everything he'd observed on a data pad, when Harvey and Sanchez came in. Nicholson jumped, and quickly hid the data pad behind his back.

"Don't you guys knock?" He demanded, slipping the pad under the bed.

"We did," Harvey replied. "Is something wrong?"

"No," Nicholson replied.

"Because you've been acting strange all day," Harvey said. As he talked, Sanchez ducked down next to the bed. Reaching under it, she slipped Nicholson's data pad out and dropped another in its place.

"What are you doing?" Nicholson asked her quickly.

"Looking for the Scarlet Pimpernel," Sanchez said, getting up. "I haven't seen it since the Eye of Argon reading."

"I'd have noticed if it was here," Nicholson said. "If you guys are just here to ask after my health, you already took me to sickbay, and I'm fine! Just leave me alone!"

With a wounded look, Harvey turned and left. Sanchez shrugged and followed him, and Nicholson breathed again as the door slid shut. He grabbed the data pad off the floor.

"Headquarters, this is Nicholson. I'm sending you the information now," he said, pushing some buttons. Headquarters said nothing for a moment.

"Nicholson, I sincerely hope this is a juvenile prank," Harvey said.

"What?" Nicholson hissed.

"Look at it," Harvey said. Nicholson activated the document, and stared. He skimmed to the bottom, and gritted his teeth.

"Sneaks never prosper," was written underneath the six hundred and sixtieth rule. Then the door slid open, and Harvey and Sanchez aimed guns at Nicholson's evil twin. He dropped the data pad and put his hands on his head.

"No, keep it, you'll want something to read while you're waiting for trial," Harvey said, scooping up the data pad. Nicholson glared daggers at him.

641. If I happen upon Kelsey rock climbing, I will not shoot up behind her while wearing rocket boots and inform her that "Concentration is vital. You must be one with the rock."

-Nor can I sing The Happy Wanderer.

-Or recite Excelsior.

-Or pretend to "race."

-Or start quoting appropriate sections of the Princess Bride at her.

642. No matter how obnoxious they have been, I may not declare any Ranger to be the made-up imaginary friend of another, and pretend that it is so.

-Especially not if I try to convince the "existing" friend that their belief in so-and-so's existence put them through several psychiatrists.

643. I am not allowed to replace Antonio's sword with a swordfish.

644. Not allowed to make any of the Zords do the Macarena.

645. I am not allowed to steal Justin's wishing coin to wish for a giant sundae.

-Or anything else, for that matter.

646. Antonio may throw fish as weapons, but this does not make him the Muppet known as Lew Zealand, so I won't address him as such.

647. I will stop making 'Chuck Norris facts' about Tommy.

-Especially blasphemous ones.

648. Convincing RJ to make a giant pizza and give it to TJ is not a good idea.

-Ever.

-And saying it was for "National Pizza Day" is not a valid excuse.

649. I will not petition for the Phantom Ranger and Cassie to get together, even if other fans REALLY want it.

-Nor will I petition TJ and Cassie to get together, because they have regular contact and it would be supremely awkward.

650. I will not answer the question "What time is it?" with "It's Morphin' Time!"

-Or "Time for Time Force!"

651. I will not refer to the wheel thing the Gold Ranger spins in the Claw Battlezord as "The Wheel of Fortune."

-Nor will I joke that the monster is in "Jeopardy."

-Or ask the monster "Deal or No Deal?"

-Because there would be a lot of confusion.

652. I will not commandeer any Zord, Megazord, or Ranger equipment without express permission from its owners.

-This does NOT mean "So and so said it was okay."

-Not even a note will suffice.

-Besides, I could hurt myself—or others—badly.

653. I will not flirt with any Ranger girls, as they can mop the floor with me.

-Especially if I'm on a team and flirt with girls outside my team. Just ask Joel!

654. I will not attempt to kidnap Princess Shayla just to see if I can.

-Nor will I get Will to do it to help the Wild Force Rangers figure out what's wrong with their security system, or lack thereof.

-Nor can I kidnap anyone else for fun, because their teammates won't see it my way and I will get hurt.

-A lot.

655. I may not protest Shayla's confiscation of the Rangers' jackets.

656. I cannot create unmorphed uniforms for teams that didn't have them.

657. I will not attempt to replace any villain with someone more challenging/less challenging/with an actual reason to attack the Earth.

-Especially not if I use myself.

658. I cannot steal Lothor-in-a-jar from Mesogog's laboratory.

659. Even if I can remember Prof. Harold Hill's entire rant against pool, I should avoid reciting it around Merrick.

-Or any other Ranger who uses pool as a fighting technique.

660. Conner's real name is not Sam Winchester and he is not a demon hunter, no matter how much they look alike.

-Thus, I should not try to get him to use psychic powers.

~o^o~

643-45 from ngjovan. 647 from Guy With 1000 Names. 648 from ElementalStarRanger. 649 from Ghostwriter. 650-53 from WolfsbaneX. 660 from Falloutboy99.


	34. Chapter 34

List of things that are not mine: Power Rangers, A.I: Artificial Intelligence, Happy Days, the Dark Knight, Mike Shinoda, Mike Rossman, The Devil Wears Prada, the Monkees, Ghostbusters, Crocodile Hunter, Men in Black or the song "Fly Like an Eagle."

~o^o~

"So this'll get me back home?" Nicholson asked.

"Yes, but we don't want you to be followed. We're going to take the scenic route," Nadira said, pushing some buttons.

"We?" Nicholson asked.

"I'm going to come along to monitor the trip," Nadira said. "Until the last trip into your universe. From what you've told me about my counterpart, she wouldn't do well in this world. Ready?"

"I guess," Nicholson said with a shrug. Nadira pushed the button.

The pair appeared inside a white laboratory, behind a dark-haired woman sitting in a nest of computers. She spun around slowly, as though she had been expecting this, starting to say "Ranger Series Gr—" and froze.

"Apologies, we're doing a bit of parallel universe hopping," Nadira said. The woman continued to stare.

"Th-that would explain the burst of temporal energy," she managed.

"He has to go now," Nadira said, and pushed the button again.

Nicholson appeared in another lab, and sighed with relief at the sight of the normal Time Force logo everywhere.

"Is it our Nicholson?" Harvey asked.

"Yes," Sanchez replied, with a grin of relief.

~o^o~

"It was insane. Everything was opposite, even the Rules!" Nicholson said. "Speaking of which…"

Grinning, Harvey passed him a data pad. Nicholson cleared his throat.

"661. I will not attempt to prove that the Zords are actually toys, with or without using action figures.

662. I will keep any mecha—especially androids!—in the Power Rangers universe far, far away from A.I: Artificial Intelligence.

-Not even if using Zords to crash a Flesh Fair would be the most awesome rescue ever.

663. If a piece of Ranger technology happens to break, the best fix is not to go find Fonzie and have him hit it.

664. Tackling Max or Ziggy is not "jumping the shark."

-This also goes for their Zords.

665. I will not try to find out if the Giraffe Zord can decapitate a lion with a kick, like its real-life counterpart.

-Especially if I try it with the Lion Zord.

666. I will not teach Jindrax the Joker's magic trick.

-Nor ask him where he got "these scars."

667. Mike's last name (either Mike) is not Shinoda, Rossman, or Hranica.

668. I will not try will not make a Chicken Zord.

-In both senses of "chicken."

-Although Gem's Falcon Zord resembled a chicken, I am not Doctor K, so I will shut up.

669. I will not try to explain what RPM's Zords are.

-Not even the Rangers know for sure.

670. I will not eat lobster in front of the Claw Zord.

671. I will not sing "Hey, hey, we're the Monkees" when I see Bulk and Skull.

672. I will not sic the Ghostbusters on the Phantom Ranger.

673. I will not threaten Merrick with silverware.

-It's probably not real silver.

- And he'd probably kick me half way to Colorado if I did.

674. I will not try to kill other Rangers.

- Or intentionally maim them.

675. I am not allowed to do Crocodile Hunter impressions around animal themed Rangers.

676. I should not make fun of Billy for his Unicorn Thunderzord, because the latter has a rather pointy horn which could impale me.

677. I will not sic Men in Black on the alien Rangers.

-Any alien Ranger.

-This includes anyone who hunts aliens.

678. I will not try to convince alien Rangers to make crop circles.

-Or try to talk them into levitating cows into space while frantic farmers watch.

-Or taking the farmer into space and pretending to do experiments on him.

-Or doing real experiments!

-This includes anyone, not just frantic farmers.

679. I will not sing "Fly like an Eagle" behind Taylor Earhardt."

680. I will not make jokes about Lily Chilman cheating all the time. The Cheetah/cheater joke wasn't funny the first time, and it will only be funny for everyone else when she clobbers me.

~o^o~

667-70 from WolfsbaneX. 671-80 from querty avelat.


	35. Chapter 35

Disclaimer: also, spoilers. Batman, Danny Phantom, Ranma ½, Dexter, Johnny Quest, Dexter's Laboratory, or Thomas the Tank Engine.

A/N: I intend to stop at 1000 rules, so keep the suggestions coming-preferably in PMs! I'm two hundred rules short! Exclamation points!

~o^o~

"Zord cleaning detail. Again. You'd think maybe saving the universe from invasion would get us some perks, but no!" Nicholson grumped.

"What?" Harvey called, trying to be heard over the noise of machinery whirring.

"Hey, at least this time all the machinery's working," Sanchez said. The three were standing by the Time Flyers, monitoring the technology as it scrubbed the Zords.

"True," Harvey said, and pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. "Can't read it aloud, pass it around." Sanchez got it first.

681. We all know Mastodon, Sabertooth Tiger and Dragonzord are not technically dinosaurs. No need to scream about it.

-Even if you can give a lecture on it.

-Especially if you can give a lecture on it!

-ESPECIALLY if the lecture delves into possible racism on Zordon's part in giving the non-dino Zords to the minority Rangers.

682. Stravinsky's the Firebird is not Kimberly's theme music.

-neither is any Rocky Horror Picture Show song Rocky's.

683. Speaking of which, I should not perform any of the audience participation from that film around Rocky. This includes:

-Throwing rolls of toilet paper at Jason if his last name is mentioned.

-Using a water pistol on people if it's raining, whilst shielding myself with newspaper.

-Throwing toast or cards around if either is mentioned.

-Getting a gang of my friends to help me out with any of these ideas.

684. I cannot get Toxica, Jindrax and Flit to form a Zord-battle commentary team.

-No matter how funny or helpful I think they are.

685. There is no Transwarp Ranger... as of yet. The Zord isn't designed for battle, and the only time it's fought was under strange conditions.

686. No, you may not tease Masked Rider about his changing costume. Especially if you're Tommy Oliver.

- Unless it's to stop the above, no teasing Tommy about how his Dragon Shield kept changing material.

687. Even if it might be cool, I'm not allowed to engineer a Kamen Rider/Power Rangers Samurai crossover. If that's going to happen, it will happen by itself.

- "Its Decade's fault" is not a good excuse.

688. Tommy isn't Batman.

689. You are not allowed to convince people that the Phantom Ranger's morphing cry is "I'm going ghost!"

- Even if that did get a good laugh out of said Ranger when someone explained it to him.

690. Above all other things, never allow for Antonio and Genta, his Sentai counterpart, to meet. The sheer ham would be too much for the world to handle.

691. Although he might make things interesting, I'm not allowed to make Ranma Saotome a Power Ranger.

- This extends to the rest of Nerima.

-And to everything that I think "might make things interesting."

-Exception may only be made if the universe is under imminent threat of destruction, but only then.

692. You are not Carter. Unless you have the guts to fire two monster destroying weapons at point blank range even if it might kill you, or to attack two giant monsters with a pair of hand guns, then don't try to pretend to be Carter.

693. I will not try to engineer some kind of Omega Forever Red by having the Reds of all the Rangers teams and Sentai teams team up.

694. I'm not allowed to comment on the common name of Venjix the virus and General Venjix of the Machine Empire.

695. I will not replace Billy or any other Techie with Dexter.

-Or Dr. Benton Quest

696. I cannot send DeeDee and/or Mandark to any Power Ranger command center.

-DeeDee + technology = destroyed Zords.

697. I will not replace Sensei Watanabe with an actual guinea pig to see if anyone notices. They are ninjas after all.

698. The Supertrain Zords are NOT Thomas the Tank Engine either.

- Because they're already flying train Zords, that's why.

-And no, making them Thomas the Tank Engine is not a brilliant idea. The reason Diabolico would never see it coming is because it's too stupid. And he probably hasn't caught up on Earth children's literature.

699. I'm not allowed to ask Zordon why he didn't just give the Mega Voyager to the Mighty Morphin Rangers when Lord Zedd arrived.

-Even if the color scheme matches better than the Thunderzords.

700. Stop comparing the Samurai Rangers to the Shinkengers. Everyone but Antonio is starting to develop a twitch.

- The same rule applies to comparing Tommy to ANY of his counterparts.

- Or Jason

- Or Adam

- New Universal Ranger rule: Don't compare anyone to their Sentai counterparts unless it's favorable. Even the depowered Rangers can cream you.

~o^o~

681-82 from querty avelat. 685-94 and 698-700 from Kamen Rider Leonite. 695-96 from Scrappy-Fan92. 697 from Maswartz.


	36. Chapter 36

~o^o~

Disclaimer: I don't own Power Rangers, Super Sentai, Tron, Kung Fu Panda, Pokémon, Marvel Comics, DC, Naruto, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Team Fortress, Star Wars, the Secret Life of Bees, Crash and the Creeps, Megas XLR.

"I still think this isn't a good idea," Nicholson said. He, Harvey and Sanchez were standing in a corner of the lab, waiting for the technicians to finish fiddling with the portal device. "Last time I jumped into an alternate universe, I ended up locked up by a fascist version of Time Force and involved in a mutant rebellion."

"Stop worrying," Sanchez said. "We didn't pick Universe Beta at random—our probes actually bumped into each other. We made sure it was okay with Time Squad, too. It's an exchange, not an invasion."

"I still don't like it," Nicholson said, folding his arms.

"Time, officers," the head lab technician called. Straightening his collar, Harvey started over. With a sigh, Nicholson followed, Sanchez pulling him along by the elbow.

The trio stepped up onto the wide, white-glowing portal device, and Harvey gave the doctors a thumbs-up. Nodding, the man threw a lever, and the machine began to hum. The laboratory dissolved into white light, there was a jerk, and then the three officers were spinning as if on a crazy amusement park ride.

They landed in a heap on a golden-lit portal device, and struggled apart. White-coated lab technicians helped them up, asking if they were all right and scanning to make sure.

"Everyone okay?" Harvey asked.

"A little banged-up, but yeah," Sanchez said. Nicholson was busy looking around at the laboratory.

"Welcome to Time Squad Headquarters," Captain Logan said, stepping up to them. All three started; this version of Captain Logan was clean-shaven. The Time Force—sorry, Time Squad—logo was gold. In fact, there was a lot of yellow and gold around this laboratory.

"Thanks, Captain," Harvey said, stepping off the platform and shaking Logan's hand.

"My counterpart and I had already set you a recovery period—and it looks like it was good that we did. Your first mission will be in an hour. Morrison here will show you your quarters," he said, gesturing to a weedy-looking young man.

Sanchez didn't even have to speak to Harvey; he patted his left chest pocket with a grin. The trio went, and in their temporary quarters, Nicholson read the Rules.

"701. I am not allowed to make an "anti-Venjix." In all likelihood, I'm either going to give Venjix more power, or make a stronger villain by doing so.

702. I will not ask why all Red Rangers ask "Ready?" before morphing.

-Nor will I try to get others to reply with "No" or "Not yet."

703. I will not ask Maya if she was raised in a cave.

-Not only is the answer probably yes, she won't understand that it's an insult.

704. Also, I will not tell Tommy/Jason/Zhane/Eric/Merrick/Cam/Trent/Ryan/Sam/Daggeron/Tyzonn/Gem/Gemma/Antonio they have evil clones controlled by a trumpet-playing pirate.

-They will freak out and/or hurt me severely.

705. Tommy's life is not a bucket list.

-I'm not allowed to convince everyone it is.

-especially his students.

706. The Raptor Cycles are not Light Cycles.

-I'm not allowed to make them Light Cycles.

-No matter how cool that would be.

707. I'm not allowed to give any villain stress balls with their Rangers' faces on it.

-No matter how much they may need it.

-Especially if I put their actual faces on it.

708. Just because Tommy had the dragon coin does not mean that he is the Dragon Warrior. He is not a panda or Jack Black.

-And even though he later became the Black Ranger, that does not prove your point.

709. Even though he shares a name with one, Steelix is not a Pokémon, and will severely hurt me for trying to "catch" him.

710. I may not ask any of the villains to attack any of the Marvel or DC villains when they're trying to instigate a crisis.

- No, not even the Countdown events.

- Because with the possible exceptions of Civil War and Ultimatum, they'd probably make it worse!

- This rule may be disregarded if our universe is regarded as part of the Marvel/DC one at the time.

711. Stop asking RJ why he didn't get around to teaching the Rangers the "grow big" technique, or why he never used it. Chances are that he doesn't actually know it in detail.

712. Stop trying to mix and match animal Zords. Yes Casey should've gotten a White Tiger Spirit, but stealing one for him doesn't help.

713. I will not try to convince Whiger to give his spirit to Casey before dying, even if it would make an awesome battlizer.

714. The following people are not allowed to be given the following names, you earn the consequences if you do:

- Flynn: Demoman, Demopan, or variations thereof, he knows them all.

- Jarrod: Darth Vader/Anakin.

- Shane: Naruto/Killer B.

-Any Ninja Ranger with any Naruto ninja. Yes, this means double consequences from Shane.

715. I will not ask why the Rangers didn't simply re-find Ninjor when the Machine Empire showed up.

716. The Winged Dragon of Ra is not a Zord, there is no Ra Ranger, and I am definitely not him!

717. I will not ask Zack Taylor if he has ever met Lily Owens.

-Nor will I ask if his godmother is August Boatwright.

-Or how jail was.

-He is not the same Zack as in "The Secret Life of Bees!"

718. I will not hire Crash and the Creeps to play at any Ranger outing.

-Or DJ Fly.

719. I will not replace any Rangers with Coop, Jamie and Megas XLR.

-No, watching Coop pwn the baddies would not be worth it.

-The mentors will take out their frustration at having to listen to talk about chili dogs and slurpies all through the crossover on me.

720. Even if I know how to play them, I cannot borrow Doctor K's violin or piano."

~o^o~

701 and 710-15 from Kamen Rider Leonite. 702-4 and 717-18 from WolfsbaneX. 705-8 from Blood of the Dawn. 709 from Secret Identity. 719 from red neo ranger.


	37. Chapter 37

Disclaimer: I don't own Power Rangers, Kamen Rider Decade, That Guy with the Glasses, Sailor Moon, Monty Python, U2, or X-Men.

~o^o~

"Okay, where do we start?" Nicholson asked. The three officers were in Time Squad's enormous data library, in the Power Rangers section. It had data pads and a shelf of antique books in a case. Harvey was already looking through the shelves, and found what he was looking for with a satisfied "hah!"

Stepping over to the others, he put the data card into the projector, and it began to play. A man was bending over the screen, and sat back as the trio watched.

"Hey, that does not look like Tommy Oliver," Sanchez said, and furrowed her brows.

"Wrong universe, remember?" Nicholson said.

"I'm David Trueheart," the man said. "If you're not me, then something is seriously wrong."

"I know what this is," Sanchez said, "It's his history of the Power Rangers up to Dino Thunder."

"Hey, what better way to figure out where things went differently? Now hush," Harvey said. Trueheart continued.

"This video diary is a confidential record, only to be viewed in case of an emergency. What you're about to see is a history of my life. My history as a Power Ranger. My story begins in Angel Grove, when five teenagers with attitude were recruited to fight the evil space sorceress, Rita Repulsa."

"Hey, those aren't—" Nicholson began, but Sanchez clapped a hand over his mouth.

"They harnessed the power of the dinosaurs to become Earth's first Power Rangers. Under the guidance of intergalactic being, Zordon, Jason, Billy, Trini, Zack and Kimberly bravely defended Earth."

"Which forced Rita to create her own Ranger," Trueheart continued. He, not Tommy, became Rita's evil Green Ranger.

The rest of the video was like this. Those Rangers with important siblings swapped places: Andros was kidnapped by Darkonda and Karone became Space Red; Leo fell into a crevice and became Magna Defender while Mike was Galaxy Red, and so on up through time.

Afterwards, once they'd recorded all the important information, the trio got more rules.

721. I won't get the Rangers themselves into arguments about whether RPM is in the same universe as the rest of the Power Rangers, and where in the timeline it is.

722. It's highly unlikely that Rose is going to become Rosie the Bold again to mentor the future pirate Rangers, so I'll stop telling everyone about it.

-Brownbeard isn't going to, either: mentoring would require one to demonstrate wisdom, quick thinking, nobility and fighting skills all at the same time.

-Divatox? Are you kidding?

-Don't even think of mentioning Captain Mutiny.

723. No, Leo's big Ranger secret isn't that he can't move around in his battlizer.

- It's not a secret, that's why.

724. Inconsistencies in Samurai Ranger era cannot be explained away by blaming Kamen Rider Decade.

- Because said magenta rider has offered to prove to the next person who does so why he was called "The Destroyer of Worlds."

725. Stop making fun of Cole for his Falcon Cycle and how ridiculously overpowered it is.

- While you're at it, stop asking that if it was strong enough to kill Serpentera by ramming straight through it, why it was never used against an Org.

725. As funny as it might be, I am not allowed to create the Spoony Ranger.

-Even though Linkara already has two morphers.

-This goes for any other reviewer.

-This also applies to turning the Sailor Scouts into Rangers.

726. The solution to any medical problem is not KO-35ian tears, and I will stop trying to convince people otherwise.

727. I am not allowed to ask where the Robot Turbo Rangers went, even if they would've been useful in the final Turbo battle or Countdown to Destruction.

728. Stop mocking Casey for his cycle armor. It was never intended to be a battlizer.

729. "Because the Psycho Rangers did it" is never a good excuse.

730. Just because it is not explicitly forbidden in the rulebook does not give me permission to do it.

-ESPECIALLY if it would be 'awesome' or 'hilarious.'

731. I am not Tommy. Kimberly is not my girlfriend.

-Giving her amnesia to convince her of this WILL get me killed.

-By everyone.

-This goes for every Ranger ever, unless they have told me otherwise of their own free will.

732. Kim did not leave Tommy because she was pregnant/became a nun/any other crazy thing I can think up/read in fanfiction.

733. Trying to convince Kim that she has a long-lost child is not smart.

-Trying to convince Kim that said child's father is Zedd is not even to be CONSIDERED.

734. I cannot, at any point in time, make references to Monty Python. The Rangers will have a very hard time fighting if they are laughing.

735. I will not carry around altoids/tic-tacs/any kind of breath freshener in the hopes that I might be able to give them to Mesogog if by some chance he kidnaps me.

-In fact, I should never hope to be kidnapped by Mesogog.

-No matter how bad he is at actually keeping someone contained when he has kidnapped them.

736. I will not bring up U2 around Flynn.

-He's Scottish, not Irish!

737. I will not hire any Ranger or villain as a hit man or sniper.

738. I will not ask SPD why their base is shaped like a giant dog.

-Trust me, no one knows.

739. No, none of the Time Force Rangers have read the X-Men comics or seen the films. Trying to make them experience them is a bad idea.

740. Katie is not an X-Man.

-Especially not Cable.

-Nor is Trip.

~o^o~

723-29 from Kamen Rider Leonite. 730-34 and 39-40 from PinkRangerV. 735 from BookLover223. 736-37 from WolfsbaneX.

A/N: In case anyone was wondering, I will eventually pick the Rules back up after reaching 1000, once I've gotten a few other things off my plate, and once I-and others-have had time to get some new ideas. By the way, does anyone have a possible 1000th rule? It needs to be something big, to be worthy of that spot.


	38. Chapter 38

Disclaimer: Power Rangers, the X-Men, John Philip Sousa, Justin Bieber, Twilight, Indiana Jones, Code Geass, Xena: Warrior Princess, Star Trek, Stargate, and Cats all belong to other people. Well, John Philip Sousa might be dead, but that doesn't make him mine, so he's included here.

~o^o~

"When we first showed up here, and I saw Captain Logan's goatee, I thought for a minute we were in an evil universe," Sanchez—or rather, her Time Squad counterpart—said. Julia giggled. The blonde was showing the alternate universe version of her friend around Time Force's Headquarters, and they were making notes on the changes.

"I don't blame you. We just had a little encounter with our own mirror universe, and boy was that scary," Julia said. "Hey, do you guys have rules in your universe?"

"Yeah!" Sanchez said, and pulled a sheet of paper out of her pocket. Julia fished a coffee-stained paper out of one of her pockets.

"We _are _supposed to check everything to see if it's the same," Julia said, and they sat down. Sanchez read.

"741. Trying to introduce Jen to the X-Men is a BAD IDEA if you like living.

742. I will not chase Octo Zord around with a sushi knife.

-Because Lauren and Antonio wouldn't appreciate it."

"Mine says Jayden, not Lauren," Julia said.

"Sibling swap.

-"I thought you wanted sushi" is not a valid excuse.

743. I will not ask if the Time Force Rangers if I can borrow their time ship.

-"I'll ask John Phillip Sousa to write Time Force a march" will not work.

-Not even Jen thinks it's a good idea.

744. I am not allowed to dress up as a villain for Halloween

-Or any other time of the year.

745. I will not tell Princess Shayla she is completely useless.

-Or that she can't sing, because Merrick would beat me up for making her cry.

-And Taylor would help.

746. I am not allowed to feed anyone to Fireheart.

-Even if they're evil.

-They'd probably give him a stomachache, and then Clare would kill me.

747. Trying to out-argue Sky will only lead to trouble.

-And there is no way I'd ever win.

-Even if I'm right.

748. I am not allowed to question why the only people who run away from the giant evil creatures are Japanese.

749. I will not make any references to Justin Bieber or Twilight. It has absolutely nothing to do with Power Rangers, and everyone is sick of hearing how much you hate/love Bieber or Edward Cullen.

750. Do not play the Indiana Jones theme around Dana Mitchell, just because she did a lot of exploring in ancient ruins.

-Also, don't ask her to say, "Snakes... Why'd it have to be snakes?" when she fights the giant cobra."

"Ryan!" Julia interrupted.

"Yeah, right.

-This also goes for Andrew Hartford, as he doesn't really need encouragement.

751. I will not attempt anything to cause Alex and Wes to switch places. This is just flat out a BAD idea.

752. I will not switch the Thunder Megazord from Ninja Storm with the similarly named Thunder Megazord from the original Power Rangers.

- Even if it would be awesome and cool.

753. Even if the guy's been through enough trouble to deserve one, I'll think twice before giving Lelouch Vi Britannia a morpher.

-If you didn't bring proper protective eyewear, then it's your own fault.

754. The Life Force Megazord is not to be remade so you can match it up against the other strong Megazords.

-This goes for every Megazord ever.

- Besides it wouldn't work. The original Thunder Megazord needs five rangers to pilot it and the second Thunder Megazord needs only two.

755. I cannot go back in time to ancient Greece to see if Joxer REALLY existed and give him Ranger Powers.

-The same goes for Xena, Hercules, Gabrielle, Iolaus, Autolycus, Jace, especially Jett, and any of the gods.

-Nor can I give Ranger Powers to any of the actors that portray said characters in the TV shows.

-Or any of the crew.

756. I cannot blame Alex for my doing stupid things by using the excuse, "Because Alex is my mentor."

-Nor can I say "Alex made me do it."

-I will also stop saying that Alex sounds like one of the voices in my head. He is allowed to beat me to a pulp.

757. I cannot reprogram Circuit to speak in Klingon.

-Or Goa'uld.

-Or any other language from any sci-fi universe.

-Or any language besides English, really.

758. I cannot call "dibs" on any Zord.

759. I will stop referring to Kat Manx and Kat Hilliard as Jellicle Cats.

-I will stop asking them if they know where the Heavyside Lair is.

-Or if they've ever been there.

-Or if they know Old Deuteronomy.

-Or to sing something from the musical.

760. I will not ask how the Rescue Zords created by the Phantom Ranger were miraculously compatible with powers created by Billy.

-Also it has not been officially confirmed that Billy created those powers, so I will not spread rumors. Okay, a couple of little tweaks, but nothing too distracting," Sanchez said, looking from one sheet to the other.

"Well, maybe once we swap you guys back, you can find some universe with crazy rules," Julia said.

"Like the gender-swap one?" Sanchez said.

"What?" Julia exclaimed.

"We've already found a universe where all the guys are girls and vice versa. Funny thing, Pink isn't a girl's color, and a lot of the girls whose names used to be boy names are the same."

"Kimberly, Ashley, Dana—oh this is weird," Julia said, resting her head on her hand. Then her eyes went wide. "There isn't—"

"Julius said to say hi to you, after he got over the weirdness," Sanchez said with a laugh. Julia only groaned.

~o^o~

741 from PinkRangerV. 742-43 from WolfsbaneX. 744-49 from Falloutboy99. 750 from Serpentdragon. 751 from Ghostwriter. 752 from Ventus Astrum. 753-54 from Kamen Rider Leonite. 755-59 from T.F. Crosby. 760 from TheGamma.


	39. Chapter 39

Disclaimer: Power Rangers, Yu-Gi-Oh!, the Hogan's Heroes fanfic known as the Mary Sue Court, the Official Fanfiction University series, Super Sentai, Yogi Bear and, I suppose, the National Park Service all belong to people who are not me.

~o^o~

"761. I will not have Dimitria impersonate Divatox to allow the Turbo Rangers into the Space Base, just because Divatox impersonated Dimitria to control the Blue Senturion.

762. Yes, there is an evil universe. No that does not mean you can get out of your duties by claiming to be your mirror counterpart.

- Even if they're incredibly stupid and genre blind.

- ESPECIALLY if they're stupid and genre blind.

763. You cannot make Signer Rangers.

-Even if it's fun to say "Card games on motorcycles as superheroes."

764. I will not take any of the things on this list as a personal challenge.

765. I cannot point out how old Skull was when he conceived Spike.

- Nor can I point out how fast Thrax grows. He's an alien, and time travel is more than likely involved.

- I cannot even speculate on how they could be related.

766. I will not introduce Rangers to their rabid fangirls/fanboys.

-Not even if I think they can handle the glomping and give those fans a well-deserved smackdown.

-And not even if I'm one of those rabid fans.

767. I will not put badfic writers on trial, because the collective writers of the Mary Sue Court would all come after me for plagiarism.

768. Before starting a Power Rangers Fan-Fiction Academy, I will first read at least five other Universities and make absolutely sure I can handle the responsibility for the duration of the story.

769. If I am usually hyperactive, I will abstain from all forms of caffeine.

-you know what you did, Kelsey.

770. I will not tell any Red Ranger that his Battlizer looks goofy.

771. I will not refer to Super Sentai as "the Japanese Power Rangers."

-Nor to the Rangers as "American Super Sentai."

772. I will not suggest to any villain that he/she should try sending more than one monster to fight at once.

773. Mike is not an employee of the National Park Service. I will not go to him and complain about people lighting unauthorized campfires.

-Also, his Zord does not want a pic-a-nic basket.

774. I will not switch around the kanji on the Samurai Turtle Zord and the Samurai Dragon Zord so that they "make more sense."

775. The Turbo Rangers are not fighting for traffic safety.

776. I will not try to pass off a toy morpher as the real thing and try to sell it to one to the villains.

-Nor will I swap the Rangers' real morphers with toys right before they surrender them to the villain.

777. I will not ask to see legal documentation of Alpha 5's right to work in the United States.

778. For my own safety, I will not ask Dr. K why the suits are made of spandex.

779. I will not play golf with the Power Animal Crystals.

-And I am not Merrick, so pool/billiards is out as well.

-Juggling? Do you really need to have this explained?

780. I will not bungee jump off of the Animarium.

-Or the Corinth City command center," Harvey finished. He folded up the paper and put it on the dresser. The three officers were packed up and waiting for the call to report to the lab and be sent back to their own universe. This wasn't going to be the end of their travels, but they had to switch back between each one.

"Are you sure we've gotten everything?" Sanchez asked again.

"Yes! Stop asking!" Nicholson snapped. He counted them off on his fingers. "Full alternate Ranger history, including the Old West Rangers, full alternate technology list down to the coffee machines, video of everything, we are set!"

"Hey, just being careful," Sanchez said, with a wounded look. "It's not like we can turn around and come back for something." Nicholson sighed.

"I know, but after the fifth time, it's kind of starting to get on my nerves," he said. Harvey's slanted eyes suddenly widened in realization.

"Guys, you don't think they'll wipe our memories, do you?" He asked. Sanchez and Nicholson exchanged looks.

"They might, but going sideways isn't the same as going back," Sanchez said. "No adjustment. And they didn't wipe our memories of the brief invasion."

"That wasn't the same," Harvey insisted.

"Hey, whatever they do, we can't do anything about it by worrying, so why bother?" Nicholson said, hefting his bag. "We need to go." The three collected their things, Sanchez quickly checking under the bed and in the various drawers, and left for the lab.

~o^o~

761 from TheGamma. 762-63 from Kamen Rider Leonite. 764 from alpha of denali wolf pack. 765 from Ventus Astrum. 769 from Guy With 1000 Names. 770-80 from Dorkenger.


	40. Chapter 40

Disclaimer: Don't own any memes, Power Rangers, candy, Transformers, Percy Jackson, Pokémon, Justice League, or the X-Men. Oh, and this universe was inspired by something I saw in a DC Comics list of Alternate Universes.

A/N: I'm up to 892, minus the last two rules! That's...less than a hundred to go! Yikes! Oh, and since I'm going to be gone for Friday and next Monday, you get three chapters today. Saying you're welcome seems smug.

~o^o~

"This…" Sanchez couldn't even finish her sentence. The three officers stood and stared blankly around. They were in Time Jump HQ, watching the various scientists and technicians scurry around on various jobs. And they really did scurry: apparently, this was the anthropomorphic animal universe.

When the trio had arrived, and seen a huge grizzly bear in a uniform looming over them, Nicholson had let out a girlish shriek. He'd been thoroughly embarrassed to discover it was this universe's version of Captain Logan. He looked equally bewildered by the three humans.

"Let's go to the library," Harvey said at last. "Get the weirdness over with." With emphatic nods, the other two gathered their gear and followed him. Nicholson paused at the door.

"What sort of animal am I—" Nicholson asked, unable to take his eyes off Bear!Logan's huge, curving claws.

"A squirrel," Logan rumbled. "Harvey is a hare, and Sanchez a mink." Nicholson facepalmed, and followed his fellows.

"So I guess this means the animal-themed Rangers are actual animals?" Sanchez asked, as Harvey closed the door after Nicholson.

"Let's just get to work. Captain Logan said this was our last universe, then we'd go back to normal missions," Harvey said.

"Oh thank goodness," Nicholson said, flopping into a chair.

~o^o~

This universe's version of Jen turned out to be a red-tailed hawk, which left them a set of Rules for when they were finished. They were surprisingly normal. Nicholson read.

"781. I will not ask Kira to take a potato chip and eat it.

782. I will not show Rocky my new pachinko machine.

783. I will not tell the Turbo Rangers that I am the Phantom Ranger.

784. I will not load the Astro Megaship's missile bays with Super Sour Mega Warheads.

785. I will not attempt to draw anything besides kanji with a Samuraizer.

786. I will not use any cell phone-based morpher to order pizza.

-No, not even Jungle Karma pizza.

787. No swapping any pre-monster models, i.e. Finster's clay monster figures, with toys/modeling clay/paper mache replicas.

788. I will not try to teach Trip to read his opponent's mind and figure out what move they're going to make before they do it, because I am not a telepath.

-Nor can I get him to start causing hallucinations/shutting the guy's brain down.

789. I cannot give any Zord the voice of Optimus Prime.

-Or any other Transformer.

-Nor can I do this to any Alpha/Circuit/Mack no matter how much Ronny urges me to.

790. I will not make up prophecies about the Power Rangers, even if I can make them rhyme well.

-Especially not the "you're going to die" kind.

791. I will not create the Halfblood Rangers.

-Even though Percy sure could use it—no.

792. No, Pokémon would not make a good addition to the arsenal of _any_ Ranger team!

793. I will not initiate a crossover with any incarnation of the Justice League/X-Men.

794. Yes, it's tough that Karone had to give up her powers when Kendrix came back. No, she should not get a purple Galaxy Morpher to make up for it.

-Even though she wore purple when she converted the first time.

795. I will not start a Family of Villains support group.

796. Zordon does in fact have a family, which he returned to during Turbo. However, I am not Eltarian. I am not part of that family, especially not a long-lost son/daughter/grandchild/niece/what have you.

797. I will not attempt to make it a rule of the internet that "if it exists, it has been slashed with Power Rangers."

-Nor will I attempt to create

798. There will be no Ranger teams based on stories aimed at younger children. This includes, but is not limited to: Winnie the Pooh, Sesame Street, Thomas the Tank Engine, Fraggle Rock, any Disney film.

799. I will not use alternate-universe time travel to take any Rangers to the Power Rangers Live Show that ran back during Mighty Morphin's heyday.

800. Under all circumstances, the Mighty Morphin movieverse and TVverse will be kept far, far apart from each other."

~o^o~


	41. Chapter 41

Disclaimer: Power Rangers, Star Trek, Monsters Inc., Tomb Raider, Facebook, Twitter, Anime—yes, as a category—Shaolin Soccer, Jeopardy, Ace Attorney Games, Gurren Laggen,

~o^o~

"801. I will not stalk any Power Ranger.

-Nor will I help Bulk and Skull/Cassidy and Devin/Bulk and Spike stalk them.

802. I won't tell all of the Rangers' bosses that they're the Power Rangers.

-Either they won't believe me, or the Rangers will hunt me down.

803. The lack of a Kobayashi Maru test for new Rangers is not a gap I should supply.

804. Don't even think of starting a cult around the various demons/evil spirits who appear to fight the Power Rangers.

-No, it isn't "insurance in case the good guys lose," it's just plain weird!

805. You are not one of the five ancient warriors of the Animarium.

-Or one of the original Pai Zhua Masters.

-Or one of the ancient Galaxy warriors.

-Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

806. No, Dai Shi's monsters are not just trying to frighten children to power their city with scream.

-Camille's name is not Randall.

-And I will not suggest that Dai Shi try laughter, "because it's ten times as strong."

807. I will not make up familial relationships between Rangers and villains. They have enough evil siblings to deal with already!

808. I won't suggest any villain with a captive Ranger just shoot them. They might listen to me.

809. Wild Force-era Jen will only be confused and annoyed if I call her Lara Croft.

-Or suggest that she help out Operation Overdrive with their jewel search, since she's so good at hunting down ancient relics.

810. Will is not going to teach Jack and Z some new "tricks of the trade," and I'll stop bringing it up!

811. You will not swap around all the English butlers "just to see if anyone notices." They are not all identical.

812. I will not substitute Piggy's winning lottery ticket for a loser, as this will upset the timeframe of SPD.

-Even if I claim it's to keep the Rangers from getting captured.

-Especially if it's to keep the Rangers from getting captured. How else are they going to save Commander Cruger?

813. I will never ever ask RJ to turn me into a werewolf to be able to go tell Necrolai that real vampires don't sparkle. She can kick my butt, if she doesn't try to eat me first.

-Nor will I have someone else turn me into a vampire, to demonstrate non-sparkliness to Necrolai.

814. If, for reasons unknown, I become a Power Ranger, I will remember that keeping my identity secret includes not listing Power Ranger as my job on Facebook, putting it in my posts, or tweeting about being a Power Ranger.

-especially since my constant tweeting is a problem in battle.

815. I cannot pretend to be an evil Ranger just to see what it feels like.

-In all likelihood someone would figure out I wasn't under a spell, anyway.

816. I shall not switch the computers to another language as a joke.

-It won't be funny when we can't teleport down to stop a monster and the world gets destroyed just because no one can understand Russian.

817. One-shot characters should not be constantly referred too to see if anyone but you remembers them.

818. Humming the Jeopardy theme when someone is thinking is not helpful.

-especially in intense situations.

819. No-one is to introduce Antonio to the following: Ace Attorney Games, most Anime, Shaolin Soccer.

- He's already seen Gurren Laggen; the hope is that he won't try to pull off the Giga Drill Break. Jayden's assurances only go so far.

820. I cannot ask ANY Ranger where they were during RPM. If you really want to know, it's in Time Force Archives, label 5P4NDX.

-We have realized the joke since labeling it."

"Enter," Captain Logan said through the intercom, and Harvey folded up the paper. Captain Logan was finishing the tape of their missions, as they entered his office and snapped to attention.

"You've done well," Captain Logan said, setting the file aside. "And I have an important mission for you. What do you know about Ryan Mitchell of the Lightspeed Rangers?"

"Son of Captain Mitchell and brother of Dana Mitchell, was saved from a car crash by Diabolico and raised by demons until his twentieth birthday," Nicholson listed, and Captain Nicholson held up a hand for him to stop.

"That's all I needed to hear. You three are going to that car crash to rescue Captain Mitchell and Dana from the cliff." The three exchanged glances.

"Sir, do you really think we're ready? If we screw up—" Harvey began.

"Then Lightspeed Rescue itself might be erased from existence," Logan said. "I know. And I trust you three. You may be just a little insane, but you never let it get in the way of a mission. You set out tomorrow. Good luck."

~o^o~

800-06 from Dorkenger, 802-3 from ElementalStarRanger. 804-8 from querty avelat. 809-20 from Kamen Rider Leonite.


	42. Chapter 42

Disclaimer: Don't own Power Rangers, Prinnies, TMNT, Marvel Comics, Warhammer 40K, the Ghostbusters, the Wizard of Oz, Back to the Future, PotC, Indiana Jones, or the Mummy franchise.

A/N: Do you think I should name the chapters, or are they good the way they are? Oh, and if I forgot to credit you here, it's because somehow I accidentally deleted who submitted what and didn't find that one again. I'll fix it as soon as you tell me.

Oh, and to prevent confusion, I have already accepted a 1000th rule. Thank you, SerpentDragon!

~o^o~

"Is anyone else as jittery as I am?" Nicholson asked, voice shaking. The three officers were waiting by the embankment. Harvey, despite barely knowing how to drive a car, was seated in a rental one in the bushes. Sanchez crouched at the bottom of the cliff, and Nicholson near the top. They wore era-appropriate raingear, and were already soaked to the bone.

"No, I'm much worse," Sanchez said, with a wobbly giggle.

"For the nerves," Harvey said, and they could hear paper crackling. "I'll read out loud."

"I love you," Sanchez said.

"Finally," Harvey replied, and cleared his throat. "821. Stop pointing out how bad Katherine and Xander's Australian accents are. They're sensitive about it, in the "Zeo Flying Power Kick" level of sensitive.

822. Stop trying to summon Prinnies. This doesn't need to be explained.

823. Don't ask if the Power Rangers' universe is the same as the Marvel one. We're pretty sure there are some variations out there that overlap, but for the most part, no.

824. Don't bring up the Ninja Turtles around the Space Rangers.

-The unanimous agreement among them is to act like it never happened.

825. Warhammer Dreadnoughts and Titans are not Zords.

826. I will not try to come up with Megazord combinations for team-ups.

-Or a Super-Ultra-Megazord combination, using everything. It would be too massive and heavy to move.

827. I will not try to exorcise Queen Bansheera's palace.

-Sure, Diabolico will think it's kind of funny, in a pitiful way, but he'll also think it hysterical to tear me limb from limb in retaliation.

-I will also not call the Ghostbusters to do it, even though they have a fighting chance.

828. The evil comedy relief are not interchangeable.

-Neither are the evil technical advisors.

-This goes for everyone else.

-Everyone.

829. No, Mama D's husband would not be a good mentor once I rescue him from the Vortex of Eternal Doom and Sorrow.

-This also goes for Leelee's father.

830. I will not try to get Lothor to sue Marah and Kapri's parents for abandoning their children with him.

831. No, Lothor should not throw all of his generals and nieces out an airlock and replace them with me.

-No, not even if I'm secretly helping the Ninja Rangers. *Cough_timelinecompletelyrewritten_cough.*

-No evildoer should be encouraged to throw someone out an airlock. They could well test it on me first, as they are in fact evil.

832. I cannot communicate to Lerigot by gargling.

833. I will not trick/talk Tyzonn into re-enacting the Wicked Witch of the West's demise for the fun of it/to scare the Overdrive Rangers/both.

-ANY version of the scene.

834. I am not allowed to paint Tommy's suit with green, white, and orange stripes, calling him the Irish Ranger.

-Not even if I can paint properly, without smudging.

-Nor will I ask Billy to give him a leprechaun Zord.

-Let's just leave the man alone!

835. I will not ask why the Ninja Storm Lionzord comes from a Ferris wheel even though the others come from vehicles.

836. The Vypari was not built by Doc Brown, and does not have time-traveling abilities when it reaches 88 miles an hour.

837. I am not allowed to "Gibbs-slap" anyone.

-Even if they deserve it.

838. Billy is not Spider-Man.

839. I do not have a 'secret identity'.

-Nor do I lead a double life.

-Even if I did, it would not be as Indiana Jones.

-Or Rick O' Connell.

-Or any other explorer/adventurer.

-And I am definitely NOT Tommy Oliver, Jason Scott or any other Ranger.

840. I am not the long lost twin of any Ranger. I will stop insisting that I am.

-Nor will I get plastic surgery to "prove" it."

"Time," Harvey said.

"I'm going to be sick," Sanchez moaned.

"Shut up," Nicholson said. "Don't let them see you."

Sanchez could hear the car engine, and see the lights of the truck coming the other way. She shifted, and grimaced as pins and needles started up her left leg. Her shoes were inch-deep in mud.

There was a screech of tires, and a bone-jarring crash. Sanchez saw the car swing wide, and the three figures roll out. They caught ahold of a root as the car fell.

Only as Sanchez watched the vehicle come down did she realize she might be too close. It slammed into the ground a few feet away from her, and she had a split second to think "Oh no" before it exploded. Sanchez was picked up and flung backwards into the dark, blinded by the explosion. Something struck the back of her head, and everything went black.

~o^o~

821- 25 from Kamen Rider Leonite. 834-35 from Drake-El. 837-40 from T. F. Crosby.


	43. Chapter 43

I don't own: Power Rangers, Cars, "Life is a Highway," Star Wars, Spiderman, Harry Potter, Batman, Star Trek, Transformers, PotC, Doctor Who, Terminator, "A Pirate's Life For Me," Godzilla, Scorpion King, Firefly, DC Comics, Black Beauty, Dudley Do-Right, and TMNT.

~o^o~

Harvey drove the car out of the bushes, turning on the lights, and parked at the edge of the cliff. He slammed the door shut and ran over, boots squishing in the mud. Nicholson joined him halfway.

"Hello!" Harvey yelled down the cliff.

"Help us!" The future Captain Mitchell shouted. Nicholson ran back to the car. He swiped his sodden curls out of his face and fumbled with the keys to the trunk. His fingers were slightly numb, but he finally got it unlocked, and pulled out the rope. Their cover story was that they had been rock climbing, which was what they had all the gear for.

He brought the car closer, and clipped the end of the rope to its' trailer hook. Then Nicholson ran back, slipping once in the mud and just barely keeping his balance. Harvey kept shouting encouragement to Mitchell and Dana, and Nicholson threw the rope's end down.

"Where's Sanchez?" Harvey whispered, as he clipped himself to the rope.

"Don't know, I'll ask her," Nicholson said. He went around behind the car as Harvey started down, and pulled out his walkie-talkie. "Sanchez, do you read me? Sanchez?"

He felt the car wobble as Harvey, Dana and Captain Mitchell began up the cliff, and quickly hopped on the trunk lid. Nicholson immediately felt silly, but then the tires slid a little in the mud, so he stayed put.

Nicholson didn't breathe again until Captain Mitchell had climbed over the ledge, and was reaching back to take Dana from Harvey. Then he hopped off, and ran over to pull Harvey up.

"No sign of her," he said, as Harvey unclipped himself from the rope.

"Who?" Captain Mitchell asked.

"We came out here looking for a friend of ours," Harvey gasped. "A woman, dark hair, dark eyes, on the short side, have you seen her?"

"No, nobody," Captain Mitchell said, shaking his head.

"Nicholson, take them into town. I'll keep looking," Harvey ordered. Coiling up the rope, Nicholson looked at the two they'd just rescued, and nodded.

As the car drove away down the road, Harvey got up and began to pick his way down towards Sanchez's position, at the bottom of the dropoff. The Mitchells' car was still smoldering, even in the driving rain.

"Sanchez! Sanchez, can you hear me?" Harvey yelled, pausing to cup his hands over his mouth. Then he heard a groan.

Hurriedly, Harvey started running, slipped and slid all the way to the bottom of the embankment. He ran across to an overhanging rock, and dropped down next to Sanchez. The other Time Force officer lay on her side, keeping one hand clamped on the back of her head. There was a flash of lightning, and Sanchez flinched.

"Are you okay?" Harvey asked quickly. Sanchez's clothes were blackened from the explosion, and burned through in a few places. She tried and failed to sit up.

"My head," Sanchez said, and yelped when Harvey brushed aside her hair to look. She was plastered with mud, but Harvey's fingers came away bloody.

"Try not to move," Harvey said, and pulled out his walkie-talkie. "Nicholson?" The radio was staticky, but eventually he heard Nicholson's voice. "I've found Sanchez, but she's hurt. Send an ambulance."

"I don't need an ambulance," Sanchez protested.

"Yes you do, you have a head injury."

"Roger," Nicholson said.

"Nobody says 'Roger' anymore, even in this time period," Sanchez said. Harvey clicked off the radio and slid in next to Sanchez, out of the rain. Neither spoke for a while. Lightning flashed, and Harvey flinched at the crack of thunder that came right after.

"That was close," Harvey said. Sanchez blinked up at him.

"Are you scared of thunderstorms, city boy?" She asked incredulously.

Harvey quickly changed the subject. "They gave me a pretty big supply of Rules before we left."

"Then stop wasting time and read." Harvey pulled out the paper, held it up so the light from the burning car illuminated the words, and read.

"841. The cars from 'Cars' are not Zords. There is no 'Cars' Megazord.

842. Just because his name may imply such, the Magna Defender is not magnetic. I will not try to stick magnets on him.

843. I will not put bumper stickers on the rear ends of the animal Zords.

-Especially not living Zords.

- No, it is not funny.

844. I cannot blast "Life Is A Highway" while driving any of the vehicle Zords.

-Or program them to do so whenever someone else drives them.

-In case I forgot, I am not allowed to operate any Zord unless given explicit permission by an actual superior.

845. I will stop calling Jayden Obi-Wan.

846.I cannot try to resurrect Imhotep or the Scorpion King to give the Rangers a worthy adversary.

-This goes for every non-Power Ranger villain ever, including, but not limited to: Darth Vader, Doctor Octopus, Lord Voldemort, any version of the Joker, Khan, Megatron, Davy Jones, Davros, the T-1000…

847. No Ranger team needs a team photographer.

-Even though Peter Parker could use the extra money, no.

848. The Rangers do not need a J. Jonah Jameson counterpart.

-Especially not if it's me.

-Knowing how this universe works, they'll end up pulling my bacon out of the fire publicly at some point, and I'll have to apologize and quit or be hated forever.

849. My mantra is not "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

-Nor is it the mantra of any particularly mischievous Ranger.

850. I will not sing "A Pirate's Life For Me" around Divatox. She might believe me.

-This also goes for any other pirate song I know.

851. If I turn into a monster, I am not allowed to play Godzilla with Angel Grove.

-Seriously, they're getting tired of it.

852. Ziggy didn't mind when I put a few Ziggy comic strips around the Garage, but five hundred was overkill.

853. The Scorpion cartel of Corinth City is in no way associated with Scorpina.

-She will hurt me if I tell anyone otherwise.

854. Tenaya 7/15 is not a Borg, Queen or otherwise.

-And neither am I.

855. I will not play dinosaurs with dino-themed Zords.

-Especially by having the T-Rex Zord eat the herbivorous ones.

-And I will not try and do the "this land' scene from Firefly.

856. No, I can't ask Elgar to turn Bulk and Skull into chimps again.

857. I'm not allowed to try and install a radio/stereo in my Zord.

- Or a TV.

-Or a computer.

-Nor am I allowed to listen to my iPod during battle.

-I need to pay attention during battles: not doing so can result in death.

858. I will not nickname Green Rangers: Green Lantern, Green Hornet, green bean, or the Jolly Green Giant.

-Nor Black Rangers Black Beauty.

- Nor Red Rangers Red Robin or the Canadian Mounties—especially not Dudley Do-Right.

- Justin is not Little Boy Blue, and he doesn't appreciate me reciting the nursery rhyme every time I see him. I will remember that he is in fact a black belt, and beating me up to make me stop won't count as "using your abilities for personal gain" to anyone but me.

859. I will not restimulate the economy with a Forever Pink at the mall. The Morphing Grid can't go into debt anyway.

-nor will I stage a Forever Green called Go Green Machine.

-because the TMNT could beat me up too.

860. You're either a Sixth Ranger, or you're not. If I am not a Sixth Ranger I am not allowed to try and find a way to become one.

-Just look at Tommy; being the Sixth Ranger can be dangerous to your health!

~o^o~

841-47 from T.F. Crosby. 859-60 from querty avelat.


	44. Chapter 44

Things that belong to other people: Power Rangers, Megamind, Batman, Super Robot Monkey Team Hyper Force Go (whew!), Speed Racer, Wizard of Oz, Wicked, Bakugan Battle Brawlers, Ghostbusters, Monty Python's Holy Grail, The Rock, The Day the Earth Stood Still, or Army of Darkness.

~o^o~

Sanchez woke up with a terrible headache, and looked around. She was in a hospital room, late 20th century style. Nicholson and Harvey were asleep in a couple of plastic chairs, and they'd tracked mud everywhere. She was in a hospital gown, with a bandaged, enormous-feeling head, and the worst headache ever. Lovely.

She didn't dare sitting up, and instead opted to try and wake the other two. "Hey!" She called softly. Then a little louder, "Hey, you guys!" Nicholson snorted and shifted a little. "Wake up—ow," Sanchez yelled, ending in a moan as her head throbbed. Harvey fell out of his chair, and that noise snapped Nicholson awake.

"You're awake," Harvey exclaimed, clambering back into his chair.

"No, I'm the world's noisiest sleep-talker," Sanchez grumbled. "And I feel like Megamind."

"Who?" Nicholson asked.

"I'll show you when we get back," Sanchez muttered. "Speaking of which, why aren't we in the Time Ship—or back in the year 3000?"

"We didn't know how seriously you were hurt until the ambulance got there. You could have had a spinal injury or something, so we let them take you to the hospital," Harvey said. "You're not supposed to go anywhere until the swelling goes down; they want to keep an eye on you." Sanchez growled.

"I went back to the Time Ship and told them what happened, and they said they'd been prepared for it. Oh, and they sent us more Rules!" Nicholson said, drawing a wad of paper out of a pocket.

"You guys wash up first," Sanchez said, snatching the paper out of his hands. They were clean, though nothing else was. Harvey shrugged and started for the door, but Nicholson gave Sanchez a suspicious glare.

"Hey, I'm not going to try to read with this headache," Sanchez said. "I won't go ahead of you, promise." Finally, Nicholson nodded. He joined Harvey, and the two left.

The door shut, and Sanchez giggled evilly. She snatched the paper off the bedside table and unfolded it. After all, she'd earned it after all the stuff she'd been through. But the letters swam before her eyes, and trying to focus sent needles of pain up her eye nerves. So she folded it back up and tossed it on the table.

It took twenty-five minutes for Harvey and Nicholson to return. Nicholson grabbed the paper and looked about ready to scan for fingerprints.

"To be honest, I did try to read it, but my eyes aren't up to standard right now," Sanchez muttered. "One of you guys read."

Harvey took the paper and sat down. The chair creaked a little under his weight.

"861. Everyone is getting annoyed at me constantly jumping out of places and yelling "Bat-man!"

862. Yes, the sun is yellow. Yes, I need to stop calling all the Yellow Rangers Little Miss Sunshine.

863. I should stop sending endless amounts of pizza to the Turbo Rangers.

-Especially since the delivery guys sometimes deliver to the first Turbo Rangers, who don't even get the joke.

864. Staging a Power Ranger/Super Robot Monkey Team Hyper Force Go team-up would be bad.

-This goes for any Power Ranger copies.

-Even the coolest of them.

865. I will stop mentioning Astronema's hair.

866. I will stop singing "Go Speed Racer" around the Turbo Rangers.

867. I will not hum "We're off to see the wizard" while teleporting to the Command Center.

868. I can't watch movies on the Viewing Globe.

-No, not even if I let Zordon or Alpha pick the movie. Yes, they probably get pretty bored stuck there all the time, but surely I can bring a TV instead?

869. If I'm in space: I really need to stop turning off the artificial gravity as a joke.

-Seriously, it was only fun the first time.

-Nor can I sing "Defying Gravity" anymore.

870. I will stop asking Lord Zedd if he's Jewish.

871. I will not compare the Samurai Zords to Bakugan.

-The results would likely be a beating (Jayden), disappointment (Kevin), confusion (Emily), laughter (Mike), being hugged and told the men in white jackets were on their way (Mia), or a mild caning (Mentor Ji).

872. As great as it might sound, creating a new team with Tommy being a Blue or Yellow Ranger would not be a good idea.

-Pink is out of the question. Let the man retire already!

873. I will not suggest Venjix attack Corinth City with the giant, demonic Stay Puft Marshmallow Man "because Doctor K will never let the Rangers destroy it."

-Nor will I send any Megazord to deal with the original.

-If I so much as _think_ of giving the Ghostbusters morphers…

874. If Kimberly and Tommy are horse-riding, I may not say 'banging coconuts together, then?'

-They couldn't look at each other for a week without bursting into laughter. It was pathetic.

875. Tommy does not have a split personality.

-No, not even because of his multiple powers.

-The events of Fighting Spirit don't prove anything.

876. Yes, some Rangers have multiple powers which make team-ups confusing. No, the solution is not to clone those Rangers.

-Or find some way to duplicate the powers.

877. Do NOT allow Rocky to watch any WWF vhs/dvds from 1998-2001, or else he'll begin referring to himself as 'The Rock'.

-Just ask Aisha, Adam, Tommy and Kimberly how annoying it was.

-Or ask Rocky how painful the "persuasion to stop" was from said friends.

878. Yelling out 'Klaatu berata nikto!' is never helpful in any situation.

-Besides, you will only get weird looks from everyone.

-Why? Because it's absurd.

-And no, 'because it's absurd' is not a good reason to do or say anything.

879. "Because it's absurd" includes making any other 'Army of Darkness' references and telling everyone that my name is really Bruce Campbell.

-Or that I am Bruce Campbell.

-And, again, no, I cannot tell the villains that saying it will help them take over the universe.

-Just cut it out. It's not funny anymore.

-Not that it ever was in the first place.

880. I need to stop giving Blake and Hunter popcorn.

-or artificial butter flavoring."

~o^o~

861-70 and 880 from querty avelat. 871 from red neo ranger. 872 from webdoor. 874 from PinkRangerV, though she remembered it from a previous "Things I am Not Allowed…" fic. 875 from Ventus Astrum. 876 from spangladesh920. 878-79 from T. F. Crosby.


	45. Chapter 45

Things That Belong to Other People: Power Rangers, Where's Waldo?, Star Trek, Marvel Comics, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the Rocky Horror Picture Show or the ridiculous things people do when they watch it, Monty Python's Holy Grail, William Wallace, Godzilla, Psycho, Mongolian or Japanese TV, Saban, the Emo Rangers.

A/N: If I haven't clear by now, I do have a submitted and accepted 1000th rule. Also a 999th rule, because I didn't mention this in time.

~o^o~

The three Time Force officers drove around the corner, and Harvey hit the brake.

"Ow! Hey, what—" Sanchez began, but Harvey was already out of the car and running. The other two exchanged looks, Sanchez rubbing her neck, and followed him.

They crashed through the trees, and stopped up short. The entire area was crawling with policemen and spectators. The Time Ship itself—gone, leaving only tracks.

"What?" Nicholson managed.

Then Sanchez spotted something. "Hey!" She cried, and darted over to a nearby, twisted pine tree. The guys shrugged and followed, as she pulled a plastic-wrapped roll of paper out of a knothole. She unrolled it, and frowned in bewilderment.

"Rules?" She asked. Nicholson pulled it out of her hands and scanned it.

"Look—some of the numbers are underlined," he said, pointing. He pulled out a pencil and began to read through the rules, marking down underlined numbers as he did.

"881. I am not allowed to critique monsters' jokes.

-nor suggest new ones.

882. I shall not collect monsters I have fought as pets.

883. I can't keep peeling onions around Andros so I can collect his tears.

-even if a resurrection elixir would be useful.

-and I gave him a percentage of the profits.

-This goes for Karone and Zhane as well.

884. I will stop saying "Where's Waldo?" whenever looking for Dustin.

-Also, the constant stream of red shirts conveniently placed in places he would find them is really getting on his nerves.

885. I will not go on a quest to find Alpha's teddy bear.

-And I will quit asking what the bear's name is.

886. I will not question why Zordon had an English accent.

887. I will quit pointing out plot holes.

888. I am not allowed to wear a substitute uniform from another season just because I think it looks cooler.

889. Using my Ranger helmet if I misplace my motorcycle helmet is not acceptable.

-Or anyone else's Ranger helmet.

890. I am not to complain about any part of my arsenal being impractical.

891. Zhane really did go off to help the rebels; he isn't serving Galactus part time.

-He is in no way related to the Silver Surfer.

892. I will quit asking Tommy why the Dragonzord doesn't rust when it's under the sea.

893. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are not Power Rangers in battlizer mode.

894. In case I decide to mix things up, I may not throw toast when Jason's last name, or a certain Truman's first name, is mentioned after the word 'Great'.

-I WILL not find a way to use Bridge's toast for throwing.

-Because Z will probably kill me.

895. While the 'Killer Rabbit' scene from Monty Python's Holy Grail movie was funny, I will not find a way to reenact the scene with Flynn as Tim the Enchanter.

-No Ranger wants their head to be bit off by that furry little monster.

-And Flynn would not laugh at them.

-He'd be too busy chasing after me, whilst dressed as William Wallace.

896. Kimberly Hart's fighting style is not a "Hart Attack."

897. I will not pay random Asians to yell "RUN! It's Godzilla!" every time Tommy summons the Dragonzord.

898. I will not travel into the middle of a Space Rangers/Psycho Rangers battle and start yelling/playing the theme to "Psycho."

899. In the TV show universe, I will not go back in time & convince Saban to invest in Mongolian TV instead of Japanese.

900. I will not show Zordon, or anyone else, footage of the Emo Rangers."

"Okay, got it. What is it?" Nicholson asked. Sanchez looked at the string of numbers.

"Coordinates," she said suddenly.

"Of course, the Warp Manipulator! I've still got it," Harvey exclaimed, pulling the object out of his pocket and strapping it onto his wrist. The trio ducked further into the woods, and all seized Harvey's arm. He typed in the numbers, and they vanished with a flash and crack.

~o^o~

881-92 and 896 from querty avelat. 893 from webdoor. 894-95 from .ChancellorZellamire. 896-900 from christian DT.


	46. Chapter 46

Disclaimer: Don't own Power Rangers, Doctor Who, Transformers, Wizard of Oz, Jurassic Park, the Holy Diocese, Chester A. Bum, Zombieland or DC Comics.

~o^o~

Harvey, Sanchez and Nicholson reappeared in the woods, only this time it was night. Cicadas and crickets sang a deafening chorus, and a sliver of moon lit up the place. It smelled like rain, because it had earlier, and the ground was muddy.

"Okay—there's the Time Ship!" Nicholson said, pointing. The three squelched towards it at a gallop.

"I don't get it," Harvey said, as he opened the door. "Why wasn't it there before?"

"I've got a sneaking suspicion," Sanchez said, darting inside with Harvey on her heels. Nicholson sighed at the muddy boot prints all the way inside, wiping his own feet before following her.

"Aha!" Sanchez cried, standing over the control panel. "We've jumped back in time to early last night. I think we're supposed to take the Time Ship out now."

"But why?" Harvey asked.

"You saw all the police—if we stay here much longer, we'll become the next Roswell," Nicholson said.

"The next what?" Harvey asked.

"They'll think we're aliens, and this is before even the first set of Power Rangers," Sanchez said, poking through their inbox. "Look, two sets of rules—the ones we already read, and some others." Nicholson grabbed the old set, and compared it to the wad of papers he was holding.

"Oh," he said, and pulled out his pencil. He began marking the new version up the way the old one had been.

"You guys have lost me," Harvey said, slumping into a chair.

"We need to bring ourselves back here tomorrow, so we'll hide the Rules where we just found them, in the future," Sanchez said. "That way we don't erase our coming back here."

"No, stop, too fast, I missed it," Harvey said, putting a hand to his head.

"We cause a paradox," Nicholson said.

"Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey," Sanchez said, waving a hand and grabbing the unread papers. "Here, read rules." With a sigh, Harvey took the paper.

"901. I will not confuse the MMPR by bringing up the plot of Transformers 3 during one of Rita's attacks.

-Or any of the other Transformers movies.

902. I will not attempt to replace the Mystic Force Rangers with Tallahassee to see if he'll take the Hidiacs out more quickly/easily.

903. I will not make a wish upon the Red SuperZeo Zord.

904. I will not ask Goldar where the rest of the flying monkeys are.

905. I will not take Kite/Animus to any business district in Ohio, New York, Michigan or China—he will most likely kill us all.

906. I will not take Mesogog to Jurassic Park.

-Even though it would probably solve everything.

907. I cannot ask the Holy Diocese to respond to the situations in Mariner Bay, Briarwood or Ocean Bluff.

-Especially not by suggesting they create their own team of Ranger clergy.

908. I will not create mission accounts either imitating or using the actual Chester A. Bum, even though it makes the history much more entertaining.

909. I will not suggest Miss Fairweather create umbrella-themed weapons for the Rangers.

-Not even if I can think of some good ones, because they're probably stolen from the Penguin.

-Oh, and they're not the Penguin's Rangers, either.

910. I will not suggest silly deathtrap ideas to any villain.

-Or good deathtrap ideas.

911. I will not try to convince the Lightspeed/Overdrive/RPM Rangers that a secret identity might be a good idea.

-Conversely, I will not try to convince everyone else that they're a waste of time.

912. I will not form a team of techie Rangers.

-Despite the fact that they'd probably have the bad guy outplanned and trounced in the first fight, as well as finding whole new ways to do it, the time travel required would seriously screw up the universe.

913. I will not suggest any bad guy skip making his monster grow.

-Or make all of them grow at once.

914. Speaking of which, I won't get Lothor the upgrade he needs so he _can_ make all his monsters grow at once.

915. I may not start a dojo for foot soldiers.

-We_ like_ them being incompetent, thank you!

916. The foot soldiers are not misunderstood. I shall not start a society to get them equal rights/protection.

917. I cannot declare myself the god of Maligore's native servants, or any other primitive society I may encounter.

-This sort of thing never ends well, in the "lava pit" way.

918. I cannot go back in time and turn younger versions of any mentor/helper into a Power Ranger.

-No, Andrew Hartford does not deserve it that much.

919. My occupation is not "Official Villain Annoyance," and I will understand that such a job would be badly insured and high-risk. Ask Norg for further details.

920. I will not suggest that Lothor send Marah and Kapri to Onyx for Trakeena-like training.

-It might just work.

-This goes for Elgar as well.

~o^o~

901-7 from christian DT.


	47. Chapter 47

Disclaimer: I don't own Power Rangers, Kill Bill, DC Comics, Ghostbusters, Marvel Comics, the Evil Overlord List and Harry Potter.

A/N: I still need 56 rules, so if you have any rating-appropriate ideas/suggestions, share!

Also, I'm considering listing stories that break these rules-in a good way-at the bottom of the relevant chapters. Opinions?

~o^o~

"Sir, Lawrence Harvey, Rachel Sanchez and Jacob Nicholson reporting as ordered," Harvey said, saluting. Captain Logan returned the salute, and the trio stood at attention.

"Your team has done well, especially considering the circumstances. Therefore, I'm promoting you from officers to corporals." Harvey, Sanchez and Nicholson exchanged incredulous, euphoric looks. Captain Logan, with a schooled stern expression, continued, "I hope you will all take your new rank, and the responsibilities that go along with it, seriously."

"Yes sir!" Nicholson replied eagerly. Then he flushed, but Captain Logan clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"That's what I was hoping to hear. Here are your new badges," he said, handing them out. Their original badges had been simple silver-triangles-on-black with a blue dot in the center, but these had separated, carved metallic triangles, and the blue circle was a gem—real or fake, they couldn't tell and didn't care.

"Thank you, sir," Harvey said. The three saluted again.

"Dismissed," Captain Logan said, and they turned to go. "Oh, and one more thing. Here," Captain Logan said, passing Nicholson a data pad. The three left, but stopped as soon as they found a closet to be out of the way in.

"You do it—your diction is the best," Sanchez said, passing it to Harvey.

"921. I may not set up house in any base, and refuse steadfastly to leave no matter how much I am cajoled/coaxed/threatened/begged.

922. I cannot act out Ranger battles with their action figures to explain what happened to anyone who might have missed it.

923. Despite her proven effectiveness in combat, I will keep Black Mamba/the Bride far, far away from any Ranger battle.

-Especially any battle involving Eye Guy.

-This goes for every single person in her universe.

924. Sure, it's unfair for a Ranger to have to fight while under the weather. However, the solution is not for me to steal their morpher and take their place.

925. I may not cause any sort of Black Light event to render all Rangers and villains powerless.

-They can all still cream me, and they will not hesitate to do so.

926. There are not now, and never will be, any Zombie Rangers.

-This goes for every other kind of undead being.

927. I am not allowed to swap the functions of Bridge's morpher with Bridge's toaster.

-Or anyone else's morpher.

-Or RIC.

-Or any other SPD technology.

928. I am not the Oracle. I should stop trying to predict things.

929. No, it would not be funny if Trip crashed the Time Ship in Roswell, New Mexico in July of 1947. I shouldn't try to talk him into it.

930. I am forbidden from commenting at all on the "rubber suit" versions of Daggeron, Leanbow and Niella/Clare.

931. I may not kidnap the Aquitian Rangers/Maya/Trip/Andros/Zhane/Karone/Tyzonn and take them to Area 51.

932. I can't kidnap Jenji to wish for something.

-Not even for him to be a better puppet/less selfish character.

933. Teaching Trip how to lie is not something you can get a salary for.

934. Diabolico's name is just that, Diabolico. Not Gozer the Gozerian.

935. Niella/Clare is indeed the Gatekeeper. I cannot shout "Zuul!" whenever one of them shows up, though, because they aren't.

-And I am not the Keymaster.

936. No, I should not get to Captain Mitchell and his kids before Diabolico does.

-Not even if I pretend to be a demon.

-Successfully.

937. I cannot draw moustaches, glasses or anything of the kind on Zordon/Dimitria's tube.

938. I won't bring the other Avengers in to show the Overdrive Rangers that it's really Loki, not Thor.

939. I am expressly forbidden from sending any version of the Evil Overlord List to any villain.

-Even if I'm pretty sure they can't read, because what would be the point?

940. Richard Evans—Cole's father—and Lily Evans's shared surnames are coincidental, as are their deaths one year apart. They are not siblings, and Cole and Harry Potter are therefore not long-lost cousins."

~o^o~


	48. Chapter 48

Things I do not own: Power Rangers, Charlie the Unicorn, Doctor Who, Charlie McDonnell, the Year without a Santa Claus special, PotC, Narnia, the Lion King or any version of the Phantom of the Opera.

A/N: If you have any ideas for rules, I've still got an entire chapter-and-a-half to fill out! I'm considering doing a "special edition" with references to specific fanfic characters, mainly those submitted by WolfsbaneX or that would apply to other original teams. Opinions?

~o^o~

Harvey blinked. He was standing in a small, white booth with a large headset on. Scientists moved around outside, and the glass door swung open. How had he gotten here?

Removing the headset, Harvey stepped out of the booth, and nearly fell down. He felt suddenly very nauseous. One of the scientists pulled him up gently.

"Relax, you've just had a memory wipe," the man said. "Some discomfort is normal."

"Memory wipe?" Harvey said, staring up at the scientist in confusion. "What did I do?"

"I can't tell you, that's the whole point," the man laughed. Looking around, Harvey spotted Sanchez and Nicholson, from the looks of it also recovering from memory wipes.

"It's just standard procedure for more classified missions. You three have a week off, though, so don't worry, it went well," the scientist assured Harvey. Nodding, Harvey let the man help him out. The others were brought out too, into what looked like an empty waiting room.

Nicholson rested his head on his knees and groaned. "Could you make the room stop spinning? Or possibly get me some motion sickness pills?"

"Here," Sanchez said, passing him a bottle. Nicholson took one of the little green pills dry, and Harvey sat back. This was a weird feeling, having a chunk of your life just missing.

"Last thing you guys remember?" He asked, turning to Sanchez and Nicholson.

"Umm…going to Captain Logan's office for a briefing," Sanchez said, and Nicholson nodded.

"Me too. How long have we been gone?" Harvey asked. Sanchez went to the wall computer.

"What, hoping you didn't get a girlfriend in the past that you've forgotten?" Nicholson asked.

"I don't know, maybe," Harvey replied, shaking his head.

"Only a couple of hours," Sanchez called. "And the Time Ship's logs match. I don't think we've lost much."

Sitting back, Harvey heard paper crinkle in his pocket. Quickly, he pulled out the wrinkled sheet, and grinned.

"941. I will not try to convince Charlie to come to Candy Mountain/the Banana King/to a help with a snowman in the future with me.

-And sticking a banana in her ear won't turn her good again.

942. I am not allowed to get Alyssa to give Mia cooking lessons.

-No matter how much her teammates hate her cooking.

-Especially if I don't ask Alyssa first.

943. Yes, some teams do not have a technical advisor. No, this is not a job I can take.

944. Kat Manx is not one of the Sisters of Plenitude. Seriously, not all cat people are alike!

945. The RADBUG is not my Zord.

-I cannot turn it into my Zord.

946. I am forbidden from giving futuristic technology/knowledge to people in the present.

947. I may not bring multiple versions of the same person (I know what you're all thinking, and I know, Tommy, but there are others too) to the same place and time. This will cause a Blinovitch Limitation Effect, and it is a Bad Thing.

-Especially if I use more than two. That would be a Very Bad Thing.

948. I cannot create Pink/Green/Black Rangers for any team that happens to lack them.

-Even if I use a retired Ranger who really deserves to get back into the action.

949. While sending every single Ranger ever to RPM would certainly help those Rangers win their battle, it would just be too much trouble timeline-wise. So don't.

950. I cannot "shuffle" Ranger teams.

951. Charlie will not do any challenges, so I'll stop asking her to.

952. I cannot recruit retired Rangers to join my alien-hunting/paranormal investigations squad.

-Especially not by drugging and kidnapping them.

-Nor can I recruit current Rangers.

-Or duping the enemy into doing so and saving them.

953. I cannot let the Rangers interact with people who write fanfiction about them.

-Especially ones where they die.

954. Moltor and Flurious have indeed heard the Snow Miser/Heat Miser song. No, they will not re-enact it.

-Not even if Norg loves the idea. This will not help my case.

-I may instead bring about the one time the brothers would agree on something—to blast me into atoms.

955. I will not try to replace Lord Zedd's staff-turned-snake into a wild snake.

956. I cannot prevent Kat from stealing Kimberly's Power Coin.

-Or swap it with a clever fake.

957. I am expressly forbidden from stealing Impus and raising him as my own son.

-Or leaving him on the doorstep of someone who would.

-Especially not that of a Ranger/the parents of a future Ranger.

958. I will not sic Davy Jones on the Turbo Rangers' ghost ship.

-Nor Divatox's Subcraft.

-Nor the future possible pirate-themed Rangers.

959. Aslan is not the Red Lion Zord/Lion Galactabeast.

-Neither is Simba or any other lion from the Lion King.

960. I will not try to get Erik, the Phantom of the Opera, to teach Kira/Cassie/Tanya to sing.

-Nor will I claim that's what I'm trying to do when my actual goal is a cage match.

~o^o~

942 from GakuenJenn.


	49. Chapter 49

I do not own Power Rangers, Kamen Rider OOO, DC Comics, Marvel Comics, One Piece, Beyblades, Bakugan, Super Sentai, Doctor Who, Lost in Space, Dora the Explorer or Go, Diego, Go!

~o^o~

Harvey was seated in his quarters, messing with various items on his computer. The main ones were a new set of Rules, and an audio recorder. He cleared his throat.

"This is Rules segment forty-nine, because on the next job we're going to want our hands free." He cleared his throat.

"961. While the thought behind it is nice, I cannot turn Eiji Hino into the Purple Ranger of any team.

- Yes, we all get the joke about his medals too.

- This goes doubly so for the Mighty Morphin Team.

962. RPM would not have been improved by talking Zords.

-End of discussion.

963. Bulk is not the Brown Samurai Ranger. Believe it or not, he actually gets the joke.

964. I'm not to give the early on Samurai Ranger team acting lessons.

- Yes, we know they were bad at the start, blame poor direction.

-And no, I can't replace _that_ either.

965. Don't call Conner any of the following in battlizer mode: Mr. Fantastic, Luffy, Rubber Man, Plastic Man, Elongated Man or Sonic.

966. No, I may not bring back Ivan Ooze solely to justify making a new Power Rangers Movie.

967. Comparing the Folding Zords to Beyblades is just as bad if not worse than comparing them to Bakugan.

968. If you ever see a man of Asian descent, in a red piratical outfit, who goes by the name Marvelous, and you happen to have Ranger tech, run in the other direction.

-If nothing else, it would make a comedic cold open for the possible crossover.

969. I'm not allowed to fund a Megazord Wrestling League.

- Because Animus might get a bit ticked off if large numbers of Wild Zords get hurt.

970. Not every Ranger team needs a battlizer.

971. No, bringing the Psycho Rangers back is not a good idea.

-There's very little of Pink to bring back anyway.

972. Unless it is absolutely needed, I am not allowed to turn Bulk, Skull and/or Spike into Rangers.

-This goes for all of the comedy relief.

973. Just because the Galaxy Rangers go to the Lost Galaxy does not mean they are "Lost in Space."

-Nor can I reprogram Alpha to say "Danger! Danger young Corbett!"

-They have to deal with Scorpio, Trakeena, and Captain Mutiny. They're well aware that there's danger.

974. Despite his love for animals, Cole is not the star of "Go, Diego, Go!"

-Nor does he have a cousin named Dora.

-If you tell him otherwise, you will only confuse him.

975. There will be no Pyrovile Zords.

976. I cannot steal the Vypari after Vypra's destruction(s).

-I cannot steal the Subcraft after Divatox switches to the Space Base.

-I cannot call dibs on any villain's abandoned base/vehicle.

977. No, neither set of time-regressed Mighty Morphin Power Rangers would make a good team on their own. They're little kids!

978. I cannot form the Wild West Rangers into a full-time team.

-Especially not with myself as the Pink Ranger.

979. I am expressly forbidden from sneaking aboard Lothor's ship and stealing the ninja students.

-No, not even a few of them.

980. There are no more Dino Gems.

-If there were, they would have been found by now.

-And none of them would choose me, anyway.

~o^o~

961-72 from Kamen Rider Leonite. 973-74 from Serpentdragon.


	50. Chapter 50

Disclaimer: I don't own Power Rangers, Doctor Who, Potter's Puppet Pals, Harry Potter for that matter, YouTube, the Little Mermaid, the Princess Bride, Inception, and most of these rules.

~o^o~

All of the new Time Force officers were in the mess hall, celebrating. Five of them, including Nicholson and Sanchez, had birthdays that week, and they'd decided to compile the parties into one. Also, they'd all had about fifty missions, and it was time for them to make their own additions to the List of Rules.

"So, this is it," Sanchez said quietly, scribbling in the gap beside '988.' They were allowed to put rules in any order they wanted. Her handwriting was cramped and squarish.

"I guess," Harvey said.

"Don't peek," Sanchez said, putting her arm around the paper. Harvey shrugged, and took another drink. This was one of the very, very few opportunities Time Force officers were allowed alcohol—apparently it stimulated their 'creativity'—and he was savoring it.

"Okay, your turn," Sanchez said, passing the paper to him. "Did you notice that the last few rules are covered up?"

"Probably meant to be a surprise," Harvey said. His scribble was quick and loopy.

He finished, filling out the last gap, and stood up. Everyone quieted down. Harvey cleared his throat a few times, and read.

"981. I will not create a Pink Dino Gem and give it to Cassidy.

-I will also not sell tickets to a Pink Dino Ranger vs. Yellow Dino Ranger cage death match.

982. Ranger, villain, henchmen, foot soldier and comedy relief cage death matches are forbidden.

-And I will not seek out the few categories unlisted here and force them into a cage death match.

983. I cannot use either Billy's mind-swapping machine or Cam's pendant-powered device on any Rangers or villains.

-Especially if I also use myself.

-Or the comedy relief.

984. I will not try to get the Turbo Rangers to re-enact "The Mysterious Ticking Noise."

-Especially with an actual detonator.

-I cannot do anything involving Potter's Puppet Pals.

985. Is the Underworld on a barren planet orbiting a black hole? No? Then logically, the Master is not the Beast from Doctor Who.

-This goes for both Maligore and Dark Specter.

986. I may not comment on Maligore and Dark Specter possibly being identical twins/the same person.

-We know!

987. I cannot rearrange the colors of any Ranger team.

-No, this is not the perfect solution to the "racism" of the first team.

988. I may not reprogram any command center's computers to play endless loops of YouTube viral videos.

-Especially not before Mystic Force; they won't even know what's going on.

989. I may not replace any Ranger or villain with their parallel universe counterpart.

-Nor may I steal every version of the same character and lock them in a room. See rule 947 again.

990. I may not lock anyone in a room. Ever.

-But especially not any of the more combat-inclined characters.

-Nor may I take bets on who walks out.

991. I am forbidden from selling bridges to the villainous comedy relief.

-Or any other cons.

-I may not sell Bridge Carson either.

992. I cannot gain the deed to any base and foreclose on the Rangers/villains.

993. Udonna would like us to stop sending Hogwarts acceptance letters to the Mystic Rangers. While they're getting very good at vanishing spells, they can't do anything else with all this paper.

-And we will ignore Chip's requests; he just wants to zap them into dust, and he's being a hazard.

994. Princess Marina should not sell her voice to win Chad. She doesn't need to do that to get legs anyway.

995. While "Making my monster grow giant-sized" may _deserve_ to be one of the classic blunders, it isn't yet, so you'll stop calling it one.

-And besides, do you really want to keep explaining what a Sicilian is?

996. The one-and-only time any rule on this list may be broken is if the timeline is already severely damaged, and either repairing it will snap everything back or this act of disobedience will itself fix the problem.

-And we do mean one-and-only.

997. Any item on this list listed as a bad thing—excepting the mirror universe version—is in fact something you should not do, or encourage anyone else to do.

998. I will not perform inception on any Ranger/ally/villain to perform any of the things on this list.

999. I may not, under any circumstances, destroy any version of this list, thus allowing people to commit them without check.

-The world as we know it would be plunged into an era of darkness, chaos, and techie harassment.

-Nor may I hire any villains past, present, or future to destroy it and then blame them.

-If the universe doesn't get to me, they will.

-And if those villains don't get to me, many Rangers will.

-And if THEY don't get to me, angry fans will.

-I understand that NO ONE escapes the wrath of angry fans.

1000. Never will I ever show the Power Rangers ANY of these rules.

-They probably won't understand most of them.

-Even—especially—if you think their reactions would be funny.

-They will probably kill you for trying to use them as the butt of a joke."

"And that's it," Harvey said, folding up the paper. He sat down in the silence.

"Now what?" Julia asked. Sanchez's face lit up. Picking up her glass, she emptied it over Harvey's head. Everyone whooped loudly, seized whatever dishes were within reach, and attacked.

~o^o~

991 from PinkRangerV. Rule 999 from Scrappy-Fan92 and .ChancellorZellamire. Rule 1000 from Serpentdragon. Thank you so much!

Some of you PM-ed me rules without reviews. Some of you reviewed without suggestions. Some of you did both. You are all incredibly awesome, though you give my spell-checker a heart attack.

Thank you: F-35 Phoenix, Scrappy-Fan92, Guy with 1000 Names, Taiyo Ryu, PinkRangerV, webdoor, Pink Wolf Princess, prophet144, BuffyBrennan, mamsmelk, Megagalvatron12, Nazness101, Red Shadow Ranger, WolfsbaneX, FinaleUltimacian, Ghostwriter, Dark Angel Version 4.0, Ventus Astrum, Wing Zero 032, DV2, alpha of denali wolf pack, WildImaginationGirl21, red neo ranger, Megafighter3, tjcassieever, Jio Uzumaki, Falloutboy99, ShadowDancerLei, MidnightMoonWarrior, ngjovan, ElementalStarRanger, Kamen Rider Leonite, Maswartz, Blood of the Dawn, Secret Identity, BookLover223, Serpentdragon, TheGamma, Dorkenger, Drake-El, spangladesh920, .ChancellorZellamire., christian DT, and GakuenJenn.

The most rules were submitted by, guess who, T.F. Crosby (114!), WolfsbaneX (89), and Kamen Rider Leonite (60).

...Wow. Just…French the llama, that was fun. I'm glad it's finished, though, because in real life I've had a sudden spurt of online college, and I'm glad to tick another item off the list of things to do.


End file.
